getting to B in Okinawa

i'm having issues focusing, so i thought i'd simply continue the story from yesterday, here goes:

after being stuck in a foreign country with the group of strangers for 24 hours we learned we were all pretty much going to the same place. okinawa is a really small island & most americans don't have any business there unless they are going to a military base.

[in case you don't know your history (i didn't), after pearl harbor the agreement was to keep american military bases on the island to keep japan in check. ie, don't even think about pulling that shit again - so they don't like us there.]

ok, where was i? oh, yeah, so we go back to the airport, fly to the little island & land in the smallest airport on earth. really. i'm sure it is, but i'm not going to look it up. s.m.all (haha, remember that?)

thankfully i'm with this group of people & many of us are going to the same base, but, BUT!!!! we find out because of the the hurricane the base is on lock down. in case you don't get that - they aren't letting people OFF base...as in to pick people up from the airport. WTF?

first stuck in seoul, now at the airport, is someone filming this?

a group of people decided to take the bus to base & i decided that was my best option & went with them. (honestly, how completely out of character is that for me?) the bus dropped us off right outside the gate, however the street was at the bottom of a hill & the gate was at the top. at the time i didn't know it, but that hill is called 'sobriety hill' because it's such a bitch it will sober you up, well we got to take it with luggage sans alcohol.

i don't remember what the heck we did in order for the guards to let us in, but i was sore afterwards (i'm joking!). the reason i don't remember that part is because it was just the beginning of another fricken obstacle in my adventure.

finally on base, now to figure out where the heck my man is, yeah, that was monumental. so close yet so FAR.
where is the camera? this has to be someone's sick game right?

i don't know how many people i talked to. i walked here & there, everywhere. barracks, rooms, spaces, parking lots, all over. part of the thing was B's room wasn't where it was supposed to be, so they couldn't find the right place.

it was awful.
& i was beyond tired.

they finally found his room, but he wasn't there. he had snuck off base to go to the airport to get me. i didn't know it at the time, all i knew was he was gone. they didn't want to let me in his room because it was a mess. then they had a change of heart, probably realized with all the crap i'd been through i really didn't care what state the room was in & they were right. i just crawled in bed & went to sleep.

2 posts & we haven't even seen each other yet. talk about drawn out!

how that Japan trip started

i was tagged on facebook to write 25 random things about me, i copied practically everything from my about me page then added a few things.

then i started a little thing about the trip to Japan, so here's the background:
i was in my senior year of college, B was deployed & in Japan for 6 months. he worked out all the details for me & 3 months into his deployment i was off to visit him.

OC-D took me to LAX, international area was crazy busy. the flight was long & we weren't able to finish our last leg to Okinawa because there was a hurricane so we stayed in Seoul, S. Korea overnight. they bused us for what seemed like forever to a hotel out as far away from the airport as possible. i remember it reminded me of mexico, the buildings all hodge podge & very colorful. oh & it smelled like sewer, i couldn't believe they had the olympics there.

the hotel wasn't all that fancy, but they thought it was. i remember sitting on the floor in the lobby (because i was fricken exhausted) & the bell boy came over & made me get up off the floor. the rug had big stains on it & he was worried about me sitting on the floor & giving off the wrong vibe.

i had my mom's cell phone & luckily was able to reach her. this was back in 2000 & coverage was really bad, i told her i was stuck & she relayed the message to B.

for dinner they gave us salmon & french fries, it was the best american type food they could deliver. we had to share rooms, so i was put with another young woman, it could have been a worse match up i thought.

let me put this out there - i'm a light sleeper, got that? ok.
so we we're wiped from the flight & bus ride so we go to our room with 2 beds. i wake up in the middle of the night to...um, noise, let's go with that.

i understand that we all have our needs, but really?
are you serious?

yup, she was.
right there.
in the same room.
in the bed next to me.
just a few feet away.

what do you do in THAT situation, hmmm?
not fricken move one muscle was my choice & hope she didn't notice a change in my breathing. oh what am i talking about, she probably couldn't even hear my breathing. even if she could hear it, i'm sure she wasn't focused on it one bit.

so note to self, next time you share a hotel room with a stranger, make sure to tell them if then need private time, do it in the bathroom.
with the door closed.
PLEASE!

that was the highlight of my visit to seoul. the next day was a holiday for them so although we didn't get back on the bus until the afternoon we had nothing to do all morning at the hotel. i had to sit there & awkwardly be friends with this woman & look her in the face the whole time.

that was just the start of the trip...i hadn't even gotten to the right island yet. that's a whole different story.

blister....in the sun

last night Z & I were doing some grocery shopping & they were playing some 80s music, i don't remember the song. then this started:

when i'm a walking
i strut my stuff
when i'm so strung out

i'm high as kite
i just might
stop to check you out

& i'm doing my best to not sing along; it's really difficult but i'm managing...somehow...probably mouthing the words though.

then Z starts in "let me go wild!"

could NOT make his mother more proud - knowing violent femmes at such a young age! i'm surprised i didn't tear up.

on the way home from the ER

i forgot to write about what happened after we left the hospital.
we head out of the parking lot over to McD's (Z's reward for being good while getting glued) & we're talking about how the morning went. Z had a rough morning before boinking his head; i had already put an X on the "show respect" line of his chart (as in he was talking back & i wanted to be sure i didn't forget that when i doled out points for the day) & B had already given him a talking to.

B says "see i knew we were going to have a rough day"
me - "yeah, it was just rougher than we expected"
B - "i knew i shouldn't have folded the laundry"
me - "seriously, you almost brought about armageddon"

now i'm never going to get that man to wash dishes...sigh...
i've told him i can pretty much guarantee his penis won't fall off if he does, but something tells me the minute chance i had of it ever happening is dwindling even further.

stalker update

so i think stalker either found my blog & located said blog where i call him out on his behavior or my coworker told him to cut that shit out.

the other day he came into my office & he always rushes in & looks at my screen to see what i'm doing before i have a chance to react. well this time he recognized the screen & said "oh, you're on your blog" & went to the back of the office, sat at my coworker's desk & then rolled the chair over so that the printer would block his view of my screen. he did not say one word about wanting to read my blog or wanting the address, nothing.

suspicious, do you agree?

whatever the case, i'm happy he's not on my case anymore; if he found it & reads, i'm sure he'll get bored with it & lose interest. if he wants to read about sexy-talk he needs to go check out Crissy, now she's entertaining!

one more trip to the ER

it started out a quiet morning; Z watched cartoons, B slept in & I was almost finished reading Pride & Prejudice. Z went to his room to pull sheets off his bed & when i went to check on him he'd forgotten the pillowcases. so i told him to finish that up & went down the hall to the kitchen to start cooking some bacon for breakfast; before i got there Z screamed out in pain.

i ran towards his room, B rushed out of the computer room before me & got there first. B asked him what happened & Z was crying & in pain so his words were mumbled. i understood that he fell & he was holding his head. B had him repeat himself; Z was putting a blankey on his bed & he hopped & fell & his head hit the metal bedframe. then he brought his hand away from his forehead & he was bleeding.

B grabbed tp & i wet a washcloth so we could get the blood away to see how bad it was. it was a small cut, but deep so we decided it was best to take him to the hospital. i put an ice pack on him then we got dressed & were out the door.

we waited about an hour with a room full of people that looked & walked as though nothing was wrong with them. i heard one woman say she had been sick for 5 days & was tired of it - so she came to the ER for a cold that she would probably wake up tomorrow feeling better without any medical attn. [oops, that last part was my opinion, sorry]

after triage we waited about 20 min & the nurse said we could either do a few stitches or glue. glue, please! hello, remember that little dentist episode? yeah, stitches not good, glue & no shots = good.

she said as long as we got there within 4 hours of it happening either way he should have no scar - YEAH! because it's smack dab in the middle of his forehead; straight above the bridge of his nose vertically & between eyebrows & hairline horizontally.

he's fine, hopping around like nothing happened earlier today. i want to tape him to his bed though.

took the plunge

i did it. after much debate, i decided i wanted to color my hair as close to my natural color as possible so you can't see the highlight line as it grows out. i took B to the store with me yesterday & had him help me pick one out; i'm in complete denial about my real hair color, so i needed him to keep me in check.

[part of the reason i decided to color was that in the previous post i forgot to mention when my stylist started working with my hair she found a grey hair. i realize i'm getting grey hair, i occasionally find a few framing my face & will yank them out. the other day when i was at work B came by for something & stopped talking mid-sentence to pull out "a pub-like" grey hair sticking straight up out of my head (how nice is that? instead of shaking hands i put that big wirey grey hair out - wanna shake it?). but yeah, she's brushing my hair & then she winds, several times, like a strand of spaghetti, a long thick grey hair.]

at the store i would pick out a color & he would say "no darker" - really? are you sure? although he can see the top of my head much better than i can, i would move down the aisle to a different brand & we'd repeat the process over & over. i'm surprised he didn't leave me there after a while.

i put it on this morning. it's weird. different. i like it more than i thought i would; that's not saying a lot though, i expected to REALLY dislike it.

UPDATE - 7:20pm i feel like i'm incognito with this hair.

i win - hahahaha!

today's stay home friday - score!
got to sleep in until 7 - yeah!
had to get up to take Z to school, bummer but that means we have a free day - whoohoo!
when i returned B was still sleeping so i get the computer - whoohoo from the rooftop baby!
i chatted on facebook, read all my bloggy reads, checked email, girl cooties all over the home computer!

uh oh, B just got up & i'm still on. he's probably crying in front of the tv right now...his wow friends too, they haven't gamed in like 6 hours.

see how mean i am, pure evil denying wow togetherness.

i better go before withdrawals begin, few thing are nastier than wow withdrawal symptoms, it's worse than herione i hear.

are you lost?

i picked up some drive thru del taco for lunch then headed home. i ate, grabbed my bottle of water & headed back to work. the drive was nice; it was raining & i watched the jets overhead as i returned to the office. i parked my car & when i reached over to my purse i saw the zipper was open & when i picked it up i noticed my wallet wasn't in there.

quick re-trace, i didn't get out of the car to get the food, so my wallet probably fell out of my purse when i threw it on the sofa at home. i went back & forth on whether i should go home or not & realized i would just be a mess if i didn't know where my wallet was.

so i drive back home. the speed limit. [it would be my luck to get pulled over without my license, right?]
as i drive i think about what's in there? who would i have to call? what a horrible fiasco if i can't find it. what if i have to call the police & make a report? tell them my small faux red patent leather wallet is gone. [no, i don't have matching boots, but i would like a pair of peep toe heels to go with the wallet.]

i only live a few miles from work, but driving the speed limit makes it oh so much further. i finally am nearing the house & the stupid light turns red, crap. then i'm just down the block & i see a car parked near my house with a woman sitting in there. my house is on a somewhat busy street with plenty of vehicle & pedestrian traffic.
i wonder if she's going through my wallet right now?
i creep around the corner looking at the walkway, nope no red in the yard or on the grass.
then i get a little closer & there it is - bright red patent leather wallet sitting in the middle of the driveway for the entire world to see & sending out signals
"someone come get me!"

hair conundrum

[i love that word - conundrum, fun to say!]

i got my hair cut on monday, i'm still sporting the soccer-mom-bob, although i don't think of it that way. i'm chic & stylish (remember i buy outfits at walmart? hmpf, maybe not so much...)
the bangs are growing out, so they are sideswept & the bob is about chin-length.

for the 3rd time the stylist has asked me "what are we going to do about color?"
now to some degree i realize it's a stylist's job to beautify (& make money) but i'm kinda stuck. i've been highlight my dark-brown hair forever, really since my teen years. when i was a kid my hair would lighten with the sun but by the time hormones started kicking in, my hair darkened so much mere sunlight wasn't powerful enough.

the only time i didn't highlight my hair was when i was pregnant & i didn't like the way my dark hair looked on me. now though i'm worried i'm one of those people, ok women, that doesn't change their look, ever, like i'll be 60 years old & still doing this, hanging on to that look that worked many, many years ago & not so much anymore. i might as well sport a bee-hive updo & heavy black eyeliner a la amy winehouse..it works for her right?

so i don't know if i should highlight the new growth or should i color it all something similar to my natural color & let it all grow out.
i guess part of this is in october (yes i realize in certain ways that's far away but in hair growth it isn't!) yeah, october, it's my 20 year high school reunion & i don't want to look like i'm trying to look like i'm still in high school.

oh yeah, & facebook has finally located a few good friends after being such an ass (remember strike #1, #2 & of course we can't forget #2.5).

Z the cooker

Z says "you're a good cooker" [instead of cook] so we're sticking with that phrase.

anywho, last night i picked him up & it's my usual thing to line out our evening while i drive home. in some ways i think this helps him in other ways i think i make it worse by doing that, but whatever, not the point of the story....
"Mon wasn't a school day, so this is our first chance at homework & it's a short week so we have to really try hard, then i'll make dinner while you get jammies on & clothes for school tomorrow."

when we got home we worked on a page of math & a page of writing, then i told him i needed to start on dinner so he headed off to do his things. he returned to the kitchen in his red superman jammies with the buttons off-kilter & asked to help with dinner so i asked him to pull a few things out of the refridgerator for me. then he wanted to help some more but the only thing left to do was to make the meatballs.

now i don't know about you, but touching raw hamburger meat, um, yeah, would not do that as a kid - gross! no problem eating it, but touching it - ew!
to this day i still remember a friend (MS) of mine mixing up meatloaf for her mother who was still at work. we were just kids, maybe in the 4th grade; i was completely disgusted by it although all that was there was hamburger meat, an egg & crackers. no big deal for suzy homemaker & i can do it now, but back then i was amazed by the fact that she could touch it...

oh, back to the Z story...so i asked him if he wanted to help form the meatball & he did, so i sent him off to wash his hands. when he returned i handed him a handful of hamburger concoction & told him to roll it up in a ball. i thought for sure once he got it in his hands he would decide it was too icky & stop, but he didn't. he had a bit of trouble making an actual ball but he rolled up about 5 objects-that-are-somewhat-related-to-a-ball-things then he helped place them in the skillet.

i think dinner was extra special last night beings i had help from my little cooker!

zombie dream

i used to love to watch scary movies, stuff like texas chainsaw massacre (the 70s one) made me laugh but now i just can't hang. i enjoy the movie when i watch it, but at night when i'm sleeping all that stuff comes back to me. i seriously don't need any dream fodder, so i really have be picky about what i'm willing to watch knowing full well, it will come back to haunt me at some point. some of my favorites were old zombie movies, night of the living dead & return of the living dead, yeah, good stuff.

some time ago B got dawn of the dead, whatever, i can hang...or so i thought. i had seen the original version many times & no big deal, i handle silly zombie movies. wrong! this was years ago & i still have dreams about zombies coming after me.

last night it was baby zombies. they were about a year, year and half old with that cute little stumbly, lopsided walk only they were dead & trying to eat our brains! then a friend of ours was tainted & we were sure what to do with her because she was still normal, but we knew she was going to turn into one of them, but we didn't want to just throw her out there to be eaten by baby zombies. it was fricken crazy. so we put her in the garage, so she could at least complete her transition in peace & not be eaten while she was human.

Z the foodie

for dinner i made angel hair pasta with left over pesto sauce & shredded chicken. i also added pine nuts & shredded parmasean (not out of the can); not a bad dinner i thought.

then Z tells me, the noodles don't have enough flavor - guilty, i added too many noodles, but it was on purpose because i can't stand when the pesto flavor is too strong or it's greasy - ICK!

next bite "oh, that was perfect, enough sauce & a bite of chicken!"

last bite "i don't like the nuts momma" - guilty again, although i know he doesn't like pine nuts i added them anyways. when i served him i tried to not to put any nuts in his bowl but one must have been hiding in the noodles & he found it.

instead of resolutions, you get confessions

#1 - i bought an outfit at walmart (curse mervyn's for going out of business, how dare they! not that i love mervyn's but when your options are mervyn's or walmart for clothing, which would you pick? yah, i thought so!)

#2 - i really & truly think walmart outfit is cute. translates to -> a) i've been living in bfe WAY to long, b) i've lost any sense of fashion & style i may (or may not) have previously had, c) i AM getting old...

#3 - our christmas tree is still up...it's january 18th. but we put it up late & i didn't want to take it down right after christmas & last weekend we were at my mom's. i told Z on fri night we would take it down sat & he said "aw, already?". i ended up with a migraine in the afternoon, it's still there waiting to be put to rest. it looks good though, i'm certain once we start removing ornaments all the needles will fall off instantaneously & we'll have a charlie brown tree with bare branches.

Z dental drama pt III

(hopefully the last installment)

yeah, it's out!
it was difficult though. Z wouldn't let the dentist give him the shot that would block the whole area, so the dr was forced to give him several local shots (all while i sat there squirming in my skin at each attempt & holding my breath hoping to just pass out & come to after it was finished).

i saw things i've never seen before, i've never seen all the tools & stuff, i don't know if it was a good thing for me to have witnessed this scenario.

the dentist got it though, he had to struggle a bit, but it finally came out. i don't know who was more relived that it was done. when we walked out to the front office even they told me they were holding their breath listening to it all.

tense.

yeah, i did shed a tear in the room as i held him after it was done.

beings he was loaded up with numbing stuff & it was a big tooth i decided the chocolate shake i had previously offered up needed to be delayed. so i told him when we got home he could have soup; he told me he wanted potato soup (last week when B had dental work done i made it for him, so i guess it's our cure all now).

he ate his soup then i put him in the tub & headed over to McD's for his shake. he was already finished when i got back & he loved his shake, except that it made him cold. i gave him some ibuprofen in case he got a headache or his mouth got sore once all the numbing stuff wore off, then we put his tooth in an envelope for the toothfairy & went to bed.

the toothfairy gave him $5 for that big sicky tooth.

Z impending dental drama pt II

the dentist appt is this afternoon (remember?), a week's worth of antibotics & that grape is still in his mouth. i've been prepping Z for at least a week, don't forget, we're going, it's coming out. the sicky tooth needs to come out & the tooth fairy wants it. the tooth fairy will give you extra money because it's a big, ugly, sicky tooth.

harp, harp

nag, nag

yes, i've been doing my job quite well. i called the office this morning & asked, should i give him some tylenol to help him relax before we go? she asked the dr & he said it wouldn't hurt, but they are hoping, because we're going in for a scheduled cleaning, that he will forget about having the tooth pulled & they'll just go in there, do the cleaning & yank - tooth is out.

UMMMMM.....WHAT? couldn't you have let me in on that little plan of yours? hmmmm? like hell he's forgotten about it, i made sure he is completely aware of what's going to happen today.

& we (ok, me) I was hoping B would take him, because i'm a big sissy at times, but he can't so i have to take Z. this is worse than yesterday's angst. at least yesterday was me, i can't deal with it when it's Z. I'M going to have to take a valium for this appt....& maybe sit in the car. i'm probably going to cry to because the pms stage has progressed from angry bitch to tears flowing at the drop of hat; so being there while that tooth is being pulled out of my baby, a big big molar at that is going to be really, really difficult.

about that consult

when i went to the dr last week, i walked away with more questions than answers.

the first concern, the original testing hadn't screened for hpv so there was that possibility (evidently it's not routine as one would expect in this day & age, especially considering it can be dormant for years). he also said it might have something to do with my period or it might just be i had an infection (hence that little episode) or it could be something more. his prudent decision was to simply repeat the test.....& it came back normal!

so i asked if that meant i just had some sort of infection or what & he said he didn't know but i don't need to worry & just come back in a year!

FANTASTIC!

then he noticed that i've put on one (1) pound since last week & he pointed it out. although i knew he was joking, i said "you try living with pms" & all the staff looked at me weird. hello, if you can't say that to an ob/gyn who can you say it to?

job letter

remember that job offer thingie that was looming around?
higher up & i were supposed to get back to one another after the first of the year. but he didn't call & i haven't either & the past couple of days i've been working on writing a letter to decline the offer.

do you have any idea how difficult it is to decline an offer yet deplomatically tell someone what an cheapskate/swindler/ass your old boss was? & how you would never go back to work for the company if you had anything to do with old boss....
because, they're still listed on my resume, i don't want to burn the bridge.

well, i tried over & over but was only able to come up with scathing words (i know, imagine that from lil ole me? most people think only flowers & rose petals come out of my mouth & are surprised once they get to know me)

i received an email from old boss this morning asking if i still wanted to be considered for the position....see, he doesn't even want to say "accept the position". (i think higher up is the one who really thought of me)

so i replied & said i felt as though i did not fit in with the company culture [who would employee such an ass as he] & considering the instability of our future after B retires, it would be best for me to decline the offer.

i hope biting my tongue pays off.

talk, talk, talk

yesterday afternoon Z's teacher called me back & i told her of my concerns & about how surprised i was to hear of what he was like in class & blah, blah, blah. i know he's behind in reading & therefore comprehension, but the math really shocked me. i guess part of it was i assumed, that many of the things she cited were true of most 1st graders.

anyways, i asked about the individualized instruction testing thing (IEP for those in the know). she explained there's a preliminary exam & there has to be a minimal 20% discrepancy in areas (ie, good in math but not in reading); if the scoring is low in everything they explore other options.

the worst part is, they actually PREFER a child to be held back a year & repeat a grade BEFORE even testing them! in hopes that the child just "needs to mature".
is it just me or is that back-ass-wards?
wouldn't it be better to help him now, maybe he can catch up.

then after work i went & dropped off the paperwork at Z's counselor's office. she surprisingly was available so i talked with her a minute. she gave me a list of child psychiatrists so we can take Z in to determine if indeed his does have ADD, because teacher's paperworks screams "yes he does" although we disagree & think he just needs to be under someone's thumb.

his reading has improved dramatically over the past few months. last night, he did 4 sheets of math homework & barely asked for any help. he even kept on saying "this is easy!" so i told him he needs to work like that in class, he needs to do his worksheets, he needs to show his teacher that he knows how to do this stuff. i know how smart he is, but that his teacher needs to see it on paper.

teacher's report

back in nov we had a parent/teacher conference & reviewed Z's report card. it wasn't stellar, but he was making strides & we were confident in his abilities.

fast forward
last week B asked the counselor how things were going, how much longer did Z need to continue visits? she asked Z, they agreed to meet 1 more time. that evening she called me & said she had a form she wanted Z's teacher to fill out to see his progress. Z's teacher sent it home yesterday.

OUCH!

reading & math - below grade level
writing & lang. arts - far below grade level
compared to his peers: hard working, behaving, learning - all sub-par

then there's an entire paragraph about "what concerns you most" - lacks attn, even the easist of 1st grade tasks. difficult to motivate, looks unengaged. has difficulty following rules, continues to do same thing after getting caught & disciplined. biggest concern - lack of attn to tasks.

then the following are very true: acts too young for his age, fails to finish things he starts, can't concentrate or pay attn for long, can't sit still, fidgets, daydreams or gets lots in thought, difficulty in following directions, acts without thinking, has difficulty learning, unmotivated, poor school work, messy work, behaves irresponsibly, inattentive or easily distracted, underachieving, fails to carry out assigned tasks, underactive.

geez! we're going to therapy the rest of our natural lives!
yet at the same time i feel like uncle buck at the principal's office, this is the 1st grade. i don't want him to be an adult in a 6 year old body (it wasn't a fun experience for me).

i decided to call his teacher. i want to talk to her about getting him tested for individual instruction. i asked her when we first changed rooms but she wanted to get to know him better before taking that step. from the eval, i'm thinking she's ready.

facebook strike #2.5 (aka mess with the bull)

so i had the pleasure of that to which i did finally decide to respond with a simple "yes, it's me". (yeah, i know i totally wimped out, but i was making the best attempt i could to refrain.) i thought there was the possibility he may somehow have something important or worthwhile to say to me & i didn't want to just bite his head off right out of the gate. (see how nice i am!)

the same day he replied: wow i thought it was u. how have you been?

i decided no response was best...right?

his reply yesterday to my non-response: hey sorry for the message i just wanted to know how u were? goodbye

my bitch-mode switch flipped: m****, i'm not trying to be mean but after all these years is there really anything you & I need to talk about? do you need to know i'm ok?

i'm ok. i'm married & have a family.

i'm not sure what you want or expect. it's not like we were friends. you did some really awful things to me but i survived you.

---------------
i hope he's happy now.

UPDATE 1/13 - he apologized "for everything i put you threw" because he's all grown up now.

the mediator

at home, i'm the mediator between B & Z. it's not an easy role, but for the mostpart, i've figured it out. HOWEVER, when we go visit my mom, the dynamics change (& it sucks). i don't like confrontation as it is, then throw in that i have to get in the middle of my mother & husband & it REALLY sucks.

i understand (as M keeps on having to remind me) that grandmas don't see their grandchildren do wrong, but that's no excuse for accepting snotty attitude. christmas & this weekend were no exceptions (now i remember why we haven't visited in a while).

at christmas everyone's feathers were ruffled because Z was snotty about demanding some cake. B rightly correctly, however his delivery wasn't acceptable to my mother. during my mom's birthday visit, Z wouldn't read & was giving me attitude & when i corrected him, my mother informed me he was too young to understand. then she said it was because he was a boy.

so i went round & round with her, i told her how smart he is, he can talk circles around some adults (to get them to agree to whatever he wants), his memory is fantastic (as long as you're not asking 'what did you just do?' & he knows it was bad, but if you point to a picture of a shark he can tell you what kind it is, what it eats & it's approximate life span).

after Z had a few rounds in the corner, he read, very well i might add. he has learned he doesn't have to follow rules at grammie's if he isn't forced & even then grammie will protect him from meanie parents.

as we were prepping to leave Z came to ask me if he could come stay with grammie over the summer. i told him of course he could & then went to talk it over with my mom. i'm sure she expected me to say no or come up with some excuse, but that wasn't where i was going at all. i told her i would bring him down whenever she wanted him over the summer, she just needed to let me know when she would be there.

then she said "well, i'm always here, i never go anywhere".

"what about work mom? you go to work 5 days a week. he's 6, he can't stay here alone. you have to take time off from work to stay with him if you want him to come visit you"

she hadn't thought of that part.

does that explain why i've been an adult my entire life?

weekend at mom's

yeah! Z only got 1 unhappy face last week! (you can only ask so much of a boy, right? more on that later...).

we drove down to mom's on friday afternoon; mom had already prepped dinner when we got there (the cornish hens she's been begging for all season) & she made enough stuffing for an army (or 2 possibly) for the 3 of us. i gave her a bowl i bought in acapulco; really colorful with chili peppers all over it, no doubt where it came from!

the next morning B & I headed down to ikea to look for something to put the tv on. we've been making due the past year with our old entertainment center. the tv doesn't fit in the space so we placed it on top & it's all ghetto, but we're in the right house, so no complaints other than we're getting a little tired of it. we bought a couple of besta shelving units.

that evening we took mom out for pho soup & picked up her favorite coconut cream pie for dessert. after our nummies, B installed a faucet in the downstairs bathroom. when we were done we went upstairs & everyone was passed out. people know how to party -> eat pie & go to sleep.

this morning we picked up a couple of parts to finish the faucet, then once that was complete we packed up & headed home. our sleep schedule had been completely messed up, on sat we were all up at 3am (Z was hungry & everyone had to watch him eat) & today they were up about 5am making all kinds of noise (they have issues!).

the boy is going to get mono by the time he's in 2nd grade

busted...
again...

kissing girls...
AGAIN...

the boy has had more action in the first grade than i had in high school.
(all years combined!)
ok, maybe that's a stretch, but seriously too much kissing is going on.

it was even one of the girlfriends!!!! not 1, 2 or 3!!
i guess he's doing try outs for #4 spot.

i may have a stalker

one of my coworkers is starting to get a little too pushy about wanting to read my blog. he tries to sneak into my office so he can catch a glimpse of the address; it's getting weird.

he keeps on asking me what i write about & if i'm ok with posting it on the internet for the whole world to read what's wrong with him reading it?

well, um, maybe if he wasn't buggin' about it...
for the most part, only a few people i know read this blog. i write for me.
sometimes it ends up entertaining, but usually not.

this helps me keep track of what's going on, what's important to me & somewhere to write down that stupid story about whatever because one day i want to remember it & i have a really shitty memory.
most importantly, it stops my head from going in circles, repeating things over & over. if i can write it down, get it in order, it's like i've put it in an envelope & it's settled, i can move on.

where are we going?

shit if i know...
yesterday B starting doing research to see if he could find anything local to here or SD house for nursing school. that part was easy, add in 'do not want a waiting list' & the options drop to umm, let me add that up, subtract, carry over, equals a big fat -0- for anything remotely near either location.
yup, nada.

so we are branching out, we both started researching. there's a large list of schools all over california, but by the end of the day i told B i thought it would be better for him to just contact EVERY single school on the list to find out if any of them did not have a waiting list & we could go from there. the knit-picky, let's try this one or let's try that one down the list had lost it's luster. he has a few pre-req's that he has to complete before he can even apply anyways.

i was excited about this happening, about our freedom, but now the reality of it is all kicking in. i can live here another year, maybe 2, but really this place drags me down & i need to get to a city, or at least somewhere that has some moisture in the air.

if we move i'd have to get a new job which shouldn't be a big deal, i do office work, so i can work anywhere, but the job market isn't so swell these days.
then there's ghetto house, do we sell it? if we're lucky, we'll break even on the sell then have to pay all the associated fees out of pocket -> translates to not really lucky. do we rent it? if that's the case, how many improvements should we do beforehand for people that are more than likely going to trash it anyways?

perspective

last night when i finally got a moment to sit & relax next to B on the sofa, where he'd been all evening because he was tired, he tells me he called intervention. he had already watched an episode & was on a 2nd one, i was confused. then he tells me he called & told them he was addicted to me.

only i was pissy (surprise)...& instead of being pleased that my husband is addicted to me [alright, yeah, it's corny, but if we were dating, i would think he totally wanted to get in my pants really liked me.] i started yelling at him.

not nice things at that.
i was tired too, but i couldn't use that as an excuse. Z still had homework to do & had to be fed & bathed. & yes, for the most part he can do it by himself, but he still needs some help.

so the giddiness i should have felt was nowhere to be found, i didn't even realize it. i have an apology to make & a serving of humble pie for dinner.

consult today

ugh, in a couple of hours i head out for the dr appt that i'm dreading. ok, this one won't be too bad, this is just the consult. but i still don't want to go.

it's about those results, that weren't right. i have CIN1 (mild) cell changes.

it will probably be more of a meet & greet, how's it going, notice anything different scenario. but it's about girly parts & you know what, you never grow out of the - i don't want to talk about it stage - when it comes to this kind of situation.

i've had this done before, in my early 20s. i don't remember much about it, but that doesn't make it any less frightening. that appt is in a couple of weeks though.

movie news: prime

yeah, i know it came out a few years ago, but i caught it on tv the other day.

it was cute, worth it's time. if you don't know the plot, new divorcee gets involved with a much younger man who just so happens to be her psychoanalyst's son. at first the dr (meryl streep) is ok with it (before she knows it's her son) & tells her to have fun, but once she puts 2 & 2 together hearing the details of her son's sex life is difficult.

at one point Uma (thurman) tells her his penis is so cute she wants to knit it a hat....not sure i would want to be telling anyone that one much less his mother.

one of my favorite scenes is when he finally takes her to his apt, he's been putting it off because he has roommates. one night she gets him to take her over, it's late & dark, they walk through the kitchen & then the living room she stops & asks "who do you live with?"

because all the furniture is covered in plastic.
then in the background an old woman's voice calls out & he confesses his grandparents & she actually falls on the floor laughing.

about that party

B, Z & I went to B's co-worker's house for a new year's eve party. i had only met her the week before but kids were welcome, so that made it easy.

we showed up around 7, right around the same time as the only other couple i knew showed up with their kids. it was awkward that we didn't know anyone else there so we kept to ourselves for the most part, but then they decide to leave after about 2 hours.

the event of the evening was a big poker game. i didn't play, i yell out "whoohoo" when i get good cards & no one wants to play with me anymore....

shortly after the gaming starting the hostess left her own party. i told B, "hey, did you know E left?"
B - no, with who?
me - with that one guy
B - the only normal one?
me - what?
B - the only one that didn't look like he was from the hills have eyes

for our own safety, i decided it was time for Z & I to leave that party.

i was home just in time to catch the end of one of my absolute favorite twilight zone episode - to serve man.