Wednesday, January 9, 2013

dropping bombs, the -f- type

i wasn't sure how to follow up the last post.  i don't remember much about summer to post anything about july or august.  then i started thinking about Z & school...

there's lots of catching up to do with Z.  lots.  this year hasn't gone as well as last, Z said early on his teacher was too nice.  the school's VP did place him this year, but i guess options were limited; Z got a teacher that only has a couple of years of experience & she previously taught younger grades.  it's hard to go in at a meet & greet & tell a bright eyed young teacher not to give your child an inch.

Z was visiting the VP's office the first week of school.  he & another student were playing who can get the sharpest pencil game. Z won, although it was accident, she agreed, it wasn't a good game for someone who knows the VP so well.  the girl leaned forward or something, Z pulled back but not enough & she ended up with the pencil poking her in the hand.  there were a couple of other things, phone calls, visits, slips that sometimes made it home & sometimes they went in the school toilet.

the winner for the year (so far, we're only 1/2 way) is the story when the class was supposed to have quiet time to work on their assignments.  according to Z he was being quiet & working while many in the class were talking, making noises, being distracting, etc.  Z went to the teacher to complain that they were not following her instruction.  i don't know what she said but Z returned to his desk to work.  the noise continued & Z shushed everyone, but that didn't stop them either.

finally he'd had enough so he went back to the teacher explained to her again that he was doing what he was supposed to, that he was following the rules & the others weren't & just wasn't f-ing fair.

yes, plain & simple as that.

he was sent to the VP's office & i got a phone call asking that Z be provided with ear plugs.

Friday, January 4, 2013

the answer is - several

on thursday i had the joyful opportunity of experiencing my first mammogram.  i had heard it was painful & i don't know, i guess i figured i'm tough, sort it turns out i am not, well, my boobs aren't, that's for sure.  mammograms are some sort of sadistic torture procedure in my opinion. i really, really had no idea you could squish a boob that much.

after the mammogram fun i waited & was called into another room for the ultrasound.  the technician there told me the dr had viewed the results & although initially they were going to only scan to left side, he requested to have the right scanned as well.  so she scanned & clicked & scanned & clicked, a lot.  then she moved to the other side & scanned & clicked a whole lot more.  i asked if that meant i had a lot of them & she said yes. of course she can't say anything, but really, this was intense.  just tell me already!

she left to tell the dr she was done & said either she or he would return to tell me results.  i assume dr came back if it was bad news. thankfully she came back, but i asked her if B could come & hear what she had to say.  she said it was simple - that i just had many fluid filled cysts, both sides, it was very common & they were nothing to be really concerned about.  she did go get B so we could view the ultrasounds with the dr.  it wasn't cancer, wasn't pre-cancer, just fluid, most likely related to fluctuating hormones.  i asked if i needed to keep my appt with the surgeon & he said i could, but he didn't see the need for it.

i did, under my primary care dr's advice, keep the appt with the surgeon though.  she thought it was best to establish a baseline, in case there was a problem in the future, which i think is smart.  even though the dr at the ultrasound office said it wasn't a big deal, i was still worried at the time of the appt though.  he said the large one measured out at 2.8cm & that if i wanted he could drain it, but it could come back.  i decided to wait & see how things are over the next couple of months.

i was advised by all the dr's to get familiar with my [abnormally] normal.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

How many lumps would you like with that?

I can't help but think of Bugs Bunny & the puma he wallops over the head....
on to business though...

The Saturday before Christmas we went to Knotts Berry Farm with R & crew. We ended up splitting into groups, the rollercoaster riders & the sissy-la-las. You know I'm in the latter group right? I like to say it's bc of my neck/back/migraine issues which IS true however even if it wasn't, I truly am a big sissy & would most likely puke all over everyone. i'm fun like that.

Z & I spent a good portion of our time (& all of his $) at the rock shop. I can say he gets that from me. I remember going to shows & being intrigued with them, just as he is.

I found the old timey portrait place, something I've always wanted to do. I hadn't seen the shop since I was a kid so I assumed they didn't do it anymore. I was finally the saloon whore girl I always wanted to be. B was a gambler/cowboy type & Z chose not to participate. I was bummed about that, but decided to simply honor his wishes & not make a big deal about it.

So while I was trying to get myself together in the corset, B had to help if course, he noticed a hard lump in left boob. I hadn't noticed it before & honestly I don't think there are 2 days in a row when B doesn't handle my boobs, so it was new.

Over the next few days the lump got smaller, it felt like a clogged milk duct only I hadn't nursed in 8 years. Right after Christmas I made an appt with my primary dr.

On Weds after New Years I saw the dr first thing. She asked my age & when I told her 41, she said "good, you've recently had a mammogram." Then I had tell her at my last appt with the other dr I asked about getting one & he didn't think it was necessary (in Aug).

She then felt the lump & said it was big. I told her it was a lot smaller than what it was originally. In my opinion it's almost gone, but she said it was 2cm & that's big. My lymph nodes aren't swollen, which is good, she thinks it's a fluid filled cyst.

While I wasn't worked up about it before, or at least I was trying to not, she had her nurse schedule a mammogram & ultra-sound the very next day. Then she gave me the number to a surgeon, whom I will see on Friday to discuss results.

Friday, December 28, 2012

June 2012

The boy finished 4th grade with a bang. Um, a good one not a bad one, clarification totally necessary for this kid.

Mrs Y was awesome for Z, exactly what he needed - tough but loving, fair & from what we could tell, did not play favorites. Z would play his games, check his boundaries, but between Mrs Y, BFF (the VP) & B the little one didn't get away with much. lots of growing up was to be had for Z, he did well academically & socially.

although we didn't get the results until right before school started for the state testing, Z missed only 1 on the entire math section & was above average for his english/reading/writing/literature/whatever it was.  the intelligence is there, it's the behavior & self control that limit him.  i think Z even surprised himself at his achievement.

B finished another semester in nursing school, one year down!

nothing to report for me, same old routine.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

& there it was Christmas

you know what?  i'm finally, kinda sorta, almost, got this whole christmas thing down.

ok, i was still doing some last minute shopping on christmas eve, but still it wasn't as crazy last minute as years past.  ugh, does that mean i truly am getting old?  never mind, i don't want to talk about it.

although we initially planned to just give Z $100 & call it good this year (beings last year was the worst christmas ever bc he only got 12 presents - omg what a deprived child he is!!!), we couldn't help ourselves.  we picked up a few things here, a few things there, on & on until wait a minute, we're not giving him $100 too!!!

i got up early in the morning, made some coffee & called my mom over.  yes, we're talking again, um, we weren't talking for awhile [again], her game, not mine, not sure where the blog left off.  anyways, yes, talking & she nice even, which is a bonus.  she came over to watch Z open presents & hang out for a couple of hours, then she was off to work.  the visit was good, so i have no complaints.

Z made out like a bandit.  he played skylander giants, put together some lego bits, we played battleship, checked out his microscope & that was only like 1/2 the score.  i'm going to see muse in jan, so i'm a happy camper & B, well, i got him a jacket that i think he likes & a phone case that didn't fit, so that's still in the works...

but nobody cried.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

May 2012

I forget what April was for but there was a lot going on in May.

The boy turned 10yo. Yes, really he did.

We had a little party at the house, but nothing to big as we were on our way to Hawaii. Yeah, how many people get that for a 10th birthday?

We did the total tourist route from going to a Lilo & Stitch luau to the Polynesian cultural center.  I took a mini hula lesson & failed miserably (no bouncing in hula, it's all side to side & I got too much ghetto in me).  C showed us Chinatown that was walking distance from her apt & we ate at a shrimp truck up near the North shore. For Z's birthday we went on a submarine ride that was awesome. We saw turtles, rays & a shark!  C took us to a few sacred places, on a hike here & there, we're probably cursed for trespassing...

Upon our return at like 1am on Sunday we were all beyond exhausted & unfortunately had to hit the ground running the next day.  Our return flight was delayed, the shuttle to our car was late, the onramp to the freeway was closed...murphy's law at it's best.

I'd missed only 4 days from work, but that included timesheets so I returned to chaos.  Although I was distracted all day by the constant hoping Z was having a good day & I wouldn't get a phone call from my BFF.  He made it though & Momma was oh so happy!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Lost but Found

The other day I decided to make some ciabatta bread. I looked in my recipe box, wasn't there; checked computer bookmarks, not there either; then in a back corner of my cobweb filled brain I remembered.

I used to have it together. There was a time when things were put in there place. That place was my blog.

I looked & yes, the post, the crumb & recipe were easily located. More importantly, I ached for how much I miss writing, documenting the craziness of life, my blog world of friends (real & imaginary).

My last post was in March, that's a lot of catching up to, it's been a long, rough year. Time passes no matter what though. I've spent the past few days working on posting from my phone. I don't know that I can do back links & other cool stuff, but I'm going to make a real effort to do this. It was good for me, made me happy, helped me see & get over the not so easy parts of life.

Missing you,

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

on ice

we went ice skating with the cub scout group.  we had been told of the outing weeks in advance & i was SO excited!  um, Z was like whatever.  i remember going ice skating once before when i was a kid, little, parents still married even.  for some reason i thought i would be able to just glide out on the ice like dorothy hamill, not my fault girl made it look so easy.

i looked it up, it was the olympics of 76, so i was about 5 years old.  i fell a lot.  i cried a lot.  then i said it was bull**** & i was done with it.  [it really wouldn't surprise me if i said that, just so you know.]  i remember my parents trying to goad me out to there again but i wasn't having any more of it.

flash forward many years & now that i have roller skating & roller blade experience under my belt, i was eager to try again.  we were a little late, which you know, is what we do, so there were a few people there already giving it a whirl.  beings it was a group of newbies they rented "EZ skaters" - walkers for ice skating for all intentional purposes.

Z borrowed one of those & headed out w/B while i held on to the rail for dear life.  although B hadn't ice skated in a long time, it didn't take him long to get it back.  Z was out there, fast, it didn't matter how many times he fell he just kept on going & before we knew it he'd kicked that EZ skater to the curb & was falling all about without it, but that still didn't stop him.

i got going, finally able to let go of that rail a bit as it was quite similar to roller blading.  my calves would get sore really quickly though.  i could do 2 laps then i needed a break.  B tried coming along with me, but i couldn't hold his hand & skate, i needed to be on my own.  the only problem was i didn't learn to stop, which can be troublesome.  i little boy fell down in front of me & all i could do was yell to warn him of my eminent crash.  B said i actually called out his name, i have no recollection of that, but he was right behind me & he grabbed a hold of my waist & slowed me down some so i didn't completely run over the little one.

it was a good time, although Z fell numerous times he didn't complain.  i figured out i couldn't watch either B or Z skate as i would need heart medication.  we'll put that one down as a win & hope to do it again soon.