wednesday, may 29th, 2002

Z was putting away his birthday cards, in a storage box that has old cards & other momentos & he found the e-mail string print out from the day he was born:

Dear Baby Z (ok, they didn't know the name, but you get the idea) -

Just wanted to let you know how excited everyone is to have you as the newest bud! The day you were being born I got a call from Auntie Chaz who said "S's in labor"! She gave me the number to the hospital and was very excited. then I checked my e:mail (which by the way has only been around a few years) and got a message from Uncle Steve. From then on it continued. I thought you would get a kick out this some day.

10:24am - from Steve
Hello All,

How is everyone? Long time no talk. I just got a call from Chaz. S is in the hospital right now about to give birth to a new baby boy. If anyone would like to call and wish them the best, the number is (yyy)yyy-zzzz room #236. I hope everyone is doing well.

Regards,
Steve

10:38am - from Sharon
Thanks for the info!! I am very excited!!

10:51am - from Kev
don't call now! i just called and she can't come to the phone.....she's in the throws of labor as i type! GO S!! 1, 2, 3, PUUUUSH.... 1, 2, 3, PUUUUSH.... 1, 2, 3, PUUUUSH....

10:52am - from Steve
Don't take me there again. So much pain for that poor little girl.

10:52am - from Sharon
Thanks for the heads up I left a message at home since she's kinda busy right now.

12:36pm - from Sharon
Does anyone know if he's here yet?

1:30pm - from Sharon to Maya
Can you do me a big favor and e:mail Steve S's address. I completely forgot about it and he's been asking since the shower. Thanks

1:30pm - from Maya
did you call S at the hospital? I tried just a few minutes ago and no one answered....all i could picture in my mind was legs up in the air....baby coming out...doctors & nurses up to their elbows in who knows what...and the stupid phone ringing in the background!

1:46pm - from Kev
not i

2:32pm - from Maya
hey all!
S & B's address is:
(private, duh, we still live here!)

3:38pm - from Maya
i just called and there was no answer...as i told shar...all i could picture in my mind was legs up in the air....baby coming out...doctors & nurses up to their elbows in who knows what...brian with a big goofy "i'm gonna be a dad" smile on his face and the stupid phone ringing in the background!

if i hear anything i will let all of you know!

3:39pm - from Maya
I thought these things took only a couple of hours? Boom Bam Your otta there?

So no news yet? Someone let me know. I'm afraid to call after Kev's message! Who;s keeping tabs?

ps j/k to all you long laboring moms

3:38pm - from Kev
call and find out....inquiring minds wanna know....

3:52pm - from Sharon
I would have called but I thought from your message earlier I shouldn't. I'll try her. I thought we were not supposed to call cuz I thought it all happened in that one room. I don't know about these things! @#)&*#@

3:54pm - from Sharon
O.K. I just tried and got the phone ringing thing to. Personally, I think they went out for pizza.

4:01pm - from Krys
fur sur! I thought i would be back and find an email announcing the arrival. no clues anyone?

4;01pm - from Steve
Ok, I'm not calling. Too much emotion running in that room. Chaz should do it, she is the closest.

5:10pm from Sharon
Z was born 12:53pm

If anyone is still at work and checking messages!! She was moved to another room so that is why we could not get a hold of her today!!

The number to call tomorrow is yyy-yyy-zzzz Room 304
She asked for rest tonight,
Love you all
Yay a new bud!!

5:10pm - from Sandy
What a beautiful name! Congrats to S & hubby!!!

5:10pm - from Sandy
Congratulations!!!! :-)

oh how i wish

i just caught up on a few months worth of MODG's blog. not only have i not been blogging, i haven't been reading & i miss my internet friends SO much! i really need to get back to working where i can sit at the computer all day & get paid for surfing, those were the days....

i check in with crissy & tia once in awhile, but the last time i read MODG she was still preggers. now she has a cute little boy & it reminds me so much of baby days with Z. tia's pregnant now & i guess she's choosing to not turn into a mommy blogger bc she hasn't talked about her pregnancy much.

i would have totally blogged about my pregnancy had i known the blogging world existed. i really would have liked to have had the outlet, although it would not be something anyone else would want to read; at least not at that time, hindsight soften things. now looking back at that time i think i went through a sort of depression, similar to postpartum i guess, but during not after.

the first 8 weeks or so were fine other than the weird change in my appetite. you hear about women who can't eat very much later in their pregnancy bc the baby is so big, but for me this all started way early. it was a learning experience, i remember one time when i had reached about the 1/2-way point driving home i had to pull over to pick up some fast food. only that wasn't fast enough, i was so emotionally unbalanced i was about to cry bc i was hungry.

i kept telling myself "it's ok, i'm going to get food. don't cry all these people will look at me like i'm crazy. i don't even look pregnant. who cries when they're hungry?" my eyes actually watered when i got the food (from hunger & true relief) & it felt so good to eat but i could only eat 1/2 of a cheeseburger. yes, of course that other 1/2 went home with me.

i couldn't eat a lot at one setting, but i ate often, like every 2 hours or so. i started packing all kinds of snacks, little baggies full of food (dry cereal, various crackers, etc). i often thought my lunch bag was comparable to something herman munster would carry. i also kept a bag of jerky in the car for emergencies...that is until i turned into a vegetarian.

me, carnivore extraordinaire. in high school i used to wake up in the middle of the night & eat lunch meat or have a couple of bites of some kind of leftover meat bc my metabolism worked so fast. i did not waste time with carbs or veggies at that hour & now my body did not like meat. for probably about a month i couldn't eat meat; it felt way too heavy in my stomach & made it ache.

i also learned that i had a very low tolerance for sweets. early on B made a fruit smoothie for me, but i couldn't keep in down. i don't remember what other sweets i tried, but no ice cream for me during that time. my treat - yogurt. no, not even frozen yogurt, just plain ole out the fridge yogurt was my dessert or sweet treat.

at one point i counted & i had eaten 14 times in 1 day. i know that seems like a lot but i haven't mentioned the nausea, etc. my constant eating was actually what clued my co-workers onto my secret. one day one of the guys said "if i didn't know better i would say..." yeah, i was close to the 3 month marker, so i fessed up but asked him to keep it quiet until i was ready to make the announcement.

beach trip

yeah for the beach!

we picked Z up a little early from school on friday & we were still late, but that's how we roll! M, C & baby S made it over & one of B's friend's from school took the other cabin. we unpacked, made a grocery run, grilled some salmon & relaxed...didn't even make it down to the water.

sat was Z's birthday party, we invited the class, but only got 1 rsvp. i was so thankful we got the 1 [from a family who knew the cabins & live right next to us & we didn't even know it until the legoland trip!] & 2 other neighbors showed up. it was nice & cozy not chaotic.

we had lunch then went out to the beach & enjoyed the afternoon. the kids got in the water [that was freezing!] & once everyone had enough of the sand & fresh air we went up to the cabins for cake & presents.

we did the ocean theme angel food cake bit again, but the store only had moldy strawberries, so raspberries, blackberries & blueberries were served [& yummy!]. no, i did not make the sho-tao [bc i'm a mean, mean mummy] mainly bc i think he forgot & hasn't asked for it again...shh, don't remind him.

the rest of the stay was quite & relaxing. monday am we took Z into school a bit late & returned to business as usual.

oh & i found out Z was going around telling M that i was fired from my last job...nice rumor kid! i wonder what else he says about me...

haha, i just read last year's post, i didn't even go into details about B & R's running vodka drunk, silly me being all nice...here's the story:

last year B bought a giant bottle of vodka, it even came with a jar of olives [they were GOOD too], but the boys wanted to get a serious drink on, so they decided they were going to drink the ENTIRE bottle in one night....& nobody else wanted to join them!

they both ended up slobbering drunk & the next morning is still quite vivid...they were both sicker than DOGS! i haven't puked like that since i was in my early 20's [well you know, besides the pregnant thing but that was different], i digress...

it was a monday & we had to clean the cabins & check out in between the 2 of them retching their lungs & other important organs out of their noses! luckily we only had to drive to SD but R had a 3 hour drive ahead of him. he said he stopped at every gas station to puke & a few times along the road!

so yes, the boys celebrated...like they had just turned 21! a year later B may, MAY have had 1 or possibly 2 drinks containing vodka & i'm sure R has completely abstained!

& we still talk about drunk B holding baby S while M held him steady by the neck of his shirt!!! fyi, don't give that man a baby when he's swaying ok?

the pregnancy story - pt II

i don't exactly remember the conversation after the we got the test results, but i know we decided we weren't going to have a wedding after all. although we wanted it, we figured even a moderate wedding was going to cost about $10k & now we had a baby on the way & we'd need that $10k just for diapers.

then we had to figure out how to let the cat out of the bag. a couple members of my family knew we'd eloped, so the announcement wouldn't be such a big deal there, but B's family was a different story. B had kept our elopement a secret because he didn't want to take away from our real wedding & that now wasn't going to happen. we also had a friend that had recently gotten pregnant, announced it to the world & miscarried in her first trimester. so for the most part, we decided to keep my pregnancy news on the downlow.

i did call my mom right away though: "hey mom, remember how we had that appt to go try on wedding gowns? yeah, i had to cancel that because we're not going to have a wedding after all. i'm pregnant." [i'm all about finesse] mom was THRILLED. [i found out much later she had already been secretly stockpiling baby stuff!]

i called my dr's office to get that ball rolling & the nerve of them, they didn't have an appt for me that very day. not even the next day. i thought for sure they needed to check my little baby out post haste - wtf? i was appalled! what kind of ob/gyn was this guy? cells were splitting & multiplying & dna code was being replicated, he was supposed to make sure all this was happening properly!!!

i felt fine though, happy that i hadn't experienced ANY morning sickness at all. the only thing was that enormous shrink in my stomach size. i normally would only eat 2 large meals, now i could only eat a little at a time but still had to eat enough to keep up with my outrageous metabolism & have some for baby.

a few days later i went to see the dr, he did an ultrasound & confirmed i was carrying a little bean. he gave me a prescription for some pregnancy vitamins & iron tablets & sent me on my way. that was it. i don't know why but i expected more, a fricken miracle was happening, i was carrying a baby & to him it was old hat.

oh yeah, & the most important part - my due date was june 16th & we knew B was scheduled to go to japan leaving sometime in june or july. awesome, i was going to have a baby & he was going to leave me alone to figure it all out by myself. i know the circumstances were completely out of his control & he wasn't leaving by choice, but try & explain that to a pregnant woman. it doesn't compute. even when she's only a few weeks pregnant.

i was mad. so, so mad & there was nothing i could do about it.

the pregnancy story - pt I

initially our plan was once i graduated college we would start our family, but B had changed squadrons at work & he was now on a regular schedule of 18 months here & 6 months in japan. so B would be here when i graduated, but would be gone the following summer & we decided it would be better to postpone the family until he returned. [hint, someone missed that memo]

so when i finished college, the new plan was i would find a real job & we were going to have a real wedding [all the previous stuff was practice]. B & I had picked a nice venue on Pendleton where you didn't even know you were on base [except for that whole guarded gate thing]; we were deciding on a date & selecting the menu.

then 9/11 happened, the world went a little crazy & so did i. i came home from work everyday & watched tv & cried my eyes out for days on end. i felt so sorry for all those people, the families that were destroyed; angry with the people who celebrated such an atrocity; and scared for B & our future. each base keeps a list of squadrons to deploy when chaos hits, B's squadron was at the top of the list when it happened.

i lost track of my cycle. i wasn't on the pill because of migraines, but we were using otc forms of b/c. i remember trying on wedding gowns & surprised at how well they fit me, nothing ever fits me. then i had an itchy face; not sure what that was about, just the skin on my lower cheeks & along the jawline itched like crazy. one night i was hungry after dinner so i ate an apple, after eating 1/2 of it i was unbelievably full & couldn't understand such a thing so i ate the other 1/2 & was completely miserable for hours.

something just wasn't right & i knew it!
but i didn't know wtf was wrong...so i went to the dr

guess what the dr said?
allergies [yes, to pregnancy] so he gave me some claritin [at least that's what i think it was, little red pills]. oh & the more important result from the appt, i weighed 110lbs, which was completely abnormal for this body [at that time]. i explained to the lady their scale had to be off, 110 was something this body was capable of. i had strived for YEARS to gain weight & NEVER was able to get above 104lbs, so there was ABSOLUTELY no fricken way that scale could be right!!!! she told me their scales were calibrated [B likes to say by NASA] & there wasn't a mistake, that it was probably water weight due to my cycle.

so i took the little red pills, i don't remember if they helped with itchy face or not. i think it was the 1st weekend in october when we went to vegas for a friend's wedding. B & I were at the hotel & i told him about the weird side effect i got from the pills, i would gag when i brushed my teeth [stupid, stupid girl]. we went out for a legendary vegas buffet of all you can eat shrimp & prime rib where i almost cried because i could barely eat more than 1 plate of food. & it was shrimp. & prime rib. & my body just wouldn't let me eat like i wanted to. & like i said before i knew something wasn't kosher but i still didn't know what!!!!

another week or 2 past & i realized i hadn't received my monthly bill, but i'm not one to keep scrupulous records & figured it'll show up sooner or later. then i started dreaming about it & decided i might need to question it. so i called OCD, told her the deal & asked what to do [duh!]. her sage advice "go get at home test; don't get the cheapest one, don't get the most expensive one & get a 2 pack in case you need to test again in a couple of days." [seriously those words are etched into my brain]

so that's what i did on my way home that day & came home & tested immediately. i put the test stick on the floor in front of me & it was probably a millisecond before the plus line appeared. so i sat there & stared at it, hoping it would go away. it didn't. then i heard B come in the house, i didn't move, just sat there with a guilty look on my face. he walked in, looked at me, at the stick, took the paper that explained the results & went to the other bathroom.

when he came back to the bathroom i was still sitting there & he smiled at me & i told him "but i'm not ready" & started crying.