& there it was Christmas

you know what?  i'm finally, kinda sorta, almost, got this whole christmas thing down.

ok, i was still doing some last minute shopping on christmas eve, but still it wasn't as crazy last minute as years past.  ugh, does that mean i truly am getting old?  never mind, i don't want to talk about it.

although we initially planned to just give Z $100 & call it good this year (beings last year was the worst christmas ever bc he only got 12 presents - omg what a deprived child he is!!!), we couldn't help ourselves.  we picked up a few things here, a few things there, on & on until wait a minute, we're not giving him $100 too!!!

i got up early in the morning, made some coffee & called my mom over.  yes, we're talking again, um, we weren't talking for awhile [again], her game, not mine, not sure where the blog left off.  anyways, yes, talking & she nice even, which is a bonus.  she came over to watch Z open presents & hang out for a couple of hours, then she was off to work.  the visit was good, so i have no complaints.

Z made out like a bandit.  he played skylander giants, put together some lego bits, we played battleship, checked out his microscope & that was only like 1/2 the score.  i'm going to see muse in jan, so i'm a happy camper & B, well, i got him a jacket that i think he likes & a phone case that didn't fit, so that's still in the works...

but nobody cried.

holiday break

so i'm new working in a school environment thing, so i didn't know i was going to get the week between christmas & new year off.  when i figured it out, we tried to plan to go somewhere but it was too late, too expensive to reserve anything during that time.

B & Z went up to ghetto house for a couple of days when i was still working.  well, not the house itself, but up to visit R.  during the week off Z & I were sick with a cold; we tried taking it easy thinking that would nip it in the bud.  Z did eventually get better, i didn't.  i also didn't make it to the budz annual christmas party, which was such a bummer.

for new years we went to our neighbor's condo in oceanside.  i really, (ok, REALLY) was thinking of backing out, but decided i needed to quite being such a stick in the mud & do SOMETHING.  i was glad i went, that we went.  we went to the condo's game room & not that there was much, but there was a foozeball table (i'm the worst foozeball player in the world, weakest wrists ever!) & a pool table (yeah, i suck at that too).

Z had a good time playing foozeball though as he was better than me & you know that's all that matters.  pool was really fun though, i probably haven't played (more than a game or two at least) since B & I met.  however, i used to play often with the guys from work & some other friends.  funny thing is B also used to play quite a bit before we met as well.  Z hadn't played & he got in a few good shots & at one point B said i broke a few laws of physics when i got 2 balls in with 1 shot.  i think i broke more than that....

so now we need a full size pool table ;-p

when we came home S was here waiting for us; we stayed up & rang in the west coast new year.  i don't remember what we did the rest of the weekend.  oh, i know at some point we worked in the yard & we built L-dog a fab house.

i need to blog more, i can't remember shit.

christmas 2011

well, let's just get it out in the open - Z got a card & that's all we heard from her.

we had a nice christmas though.  for days before Z would get up & ask "is it christmas today?"  the night before we let him open one present  - the wooden marble run, he played with it for hours.  on the morning of, when i finally could tell the boy yes, his response was ok, then he went to use the bathroom.

he opened his presents & he was so happy he received so many of the items he'd asked for.  no, he didn't write a letter to santa, but he did write a list (with prices) from a toys r us ad.  he got the zombie lab that makes gross candy things, the pogo stick (which is quite fun & even more difficult), a rock growing kit, a game with hand racquets where you catch & throw a ball & i don't remember the rest.

we spent the day playing his games & trying out the pogo stick (& more importantly not going through the sliding glass door).  then in the evening we were about to head over to neighbor J's when the meltdown happened.

it may be from all the recent talk, but it came out - this was the worst christmas ever.  yeh....bc he only got 7 presents was his argument.
& bc we're horrible parents we offered to return 1 of his presents & buy him a bunch of little cars instead.  then he went on to ask how much money was spent on the presents.  like that really matters, but at this point in time, to him, it did.
so in addition to the presents we explained to him that we also just got his glasses (yeah, the boy got his first pair of specs) & when he was told how much $ was spent on those he seemed happy.

next year he will get a sack filled with many pieces of coal.

so once enough christmas tears were shed, we finally went to visit some friends.  there were a gang of kids & they had a good time running & playing.  i hope the boy remembers that part of christmas.  we had fun visiting with other adults.

Thanksgiving 2011

no, my mom & i are still not speaking.....just thought i should clear that up.  i went back & forth, part of me felt i should call her, but last time that didn't really solve the problem [obviously bc she's doing it again] so i decided, that i will let her call.
she started the game, she can end it.
i know bad.

she sent Z a card for halloween & another one for thanksgiving.  so i know she didn't have any plans of coming over.  funny thing is, all this time i haven't been missing her, i've actually been thinking about how she failed me as a parent.  how i was robbed of being a child & forced to be an adult bc she didn't know what to do with me.  how she annihilated my sense of self worth & would put me down.
um, that's not where i was going with this so let's move on please....

lalala, so yes, thanksgiving was not what we had expected.  B's family plans got thrown out the window & i'm not even going to get into that one....at one point we were seriously considering going back to the desert for the holiday to spend with B's bff R & the family of redheads who were also kind & considerate enough to invite us over as well.

thank you lord, we have friends, bc the family stuff ain't working.

B's bff R, girlfriend & momma came to town bringing desserts.  we prepped turkey, stuffing & spinach dip, then all of us headed over to the neighbors who prepared side dishes.  guess what?  you know why she didn't have family over?  bc she's having family issues too!  we all had our little part which ended up a feast & nobody was overwhelmed, it was a really good feeling.

this year's thanksgiving was all about friends, the people who hang out with you bc they like you not bc they have to.

turkey nightmares

so i'm getting into my groove at work [translates to i'm discovering my mistakes], so that's good, i guess.  funny that boss doesn't say anything to me though, just lets me mess things up. oh well, i actually learn best that way & possibly, what's really scary, is that he knows that.

now that i'm a real employee, i'm on probation.....for a year....so much for feeling all comfy.
i already had to turn in my first self evaluation.  it was fun.
when boss sent it over to me he actually told me "don't be too hard on yourself".
SEE?  he knows me, i don't need anyone to tell me what a f-up i am....my mother taught me well dammit!

so far the hardest thing for me to do was thanksgiving.  really, one wouldn't think so, but for me, it was.  first i had to figure out where to get the turkeys from & that's actually more difficult than i expected.  we don't have ovens, so i needed a hot, cooked turkey & really, not an easy task....well, factor in that it needs to be cheap too & that we were feeding between 40-50 people.

i finally found a place, but then i had to wait for boss to tell me it was ok to order & i needed $$ to pay for it & that was the part that was killing me.  yes, i know he was busy with important things, but dang, i honestly was having nightmares about the thankgiving potluck & no flipping turkey & my ass was fired.  part of that was bc in prep for the potluck i don't know how many of the guys told me "that's not how blahblah predecessor did it" so in the end i would just tell them i wasn't her.....

we got turkeys ordered & i felt the weight lifted from my shoulders, it was great.

then i realized i had to decorate, which is so not my forte.
i went out to the room, pulled out the previous years decorations & ended up with a headache.  i went back to the office & pitifully asked a coworker to help me & she was awesome!  she moved the tables around so people could sit across from each other & put tablecloths up so they looked like drapes & all kinds of cute little things.  every once in awhile she would ask me "what do you think about this?" & i was at a loss.....yeah, i failed decorating in chick school.

the potluck went well, i could hardly eat though.  afterwards we cleaned it all up & i was so relieved it was all over.....then later i realized christmas is next.....let the ham nightmares begin.

the 4th of July weekend

surprise, S showed up out of the blue friday night while i was reading to Z. i was so enthralled with reading "fablehaven" i didn't hear her enter the house, or the bathroom, or anything until she was done & in the hallway announcing herself!

we had a quiet sat & sun, then on monday we went to the beach in carlsbad. it was a little alcove we've never been to before but we figured beings it was a holiday we were lucky to get a parking spot anywhere!

S had to head home before it got dark & we went to the neighbors for dinner. we had a nice time outside on the patio & then about 8pm we headed over near the park. we took a blanket & sat in the field & watched a great fireworks show.

the rest of the trip

for memorial day we went back to grandma G's house to celebrate. Z finally got to open the present he'd handled so much our previous visit. i have to say i was surprised he didn't start to open it off in corner somewhere. the present was 3 small dart guns; Z had a blast playing with his great, great uncle & later we played downstairs in the basement. the sun was finally out so before we left Z went & ran around the yard, loving the grass & dirt on his feet.

we left grandma's house & stopped at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery. i hope after the impact of the flag retirement ceremony that Z was able to comprehend at least a little of what memorial day was really about.

by tuesday one of the guns was already broken & Z decided with his birthday $ he wanted to get a bigger nerf gun. we got 2 guns; B played a few rounds with Z & even grandma C joined in the fun. we took one more walk out to the park & lake before the sun went down for the day. that night i read more of fablehaven to the boys, even B's enjoying the story now.

before we knew it 3am wednesday came along & it was time to get on the road home. the trip was good & Z was well behaved, something we all were grateful for.

easter 2011

i just read my post from last year, so strange to go back to that time....the awkwardness with my mom & as far as i knew my dad & nana were both fine.

a few days before easter Z told me he wanted to celebrate the real reason for easter & although i was a little taken aback, i told him we could do that. for clarification, i said "so you want to go to church, right? to celebrate easter..." hahaha, you should have seen his face! "NO, i want to do an easter egg hunt!" very well then, now that we're all clear about that one.
i did explain the real reason for easter, but i'm pretty sure he fell asleep.

on sat am i took Z to a local park for an official egg hunt. it was crap though, $5 donation & the toys were bs. Z thought he scored, so i wasn't going to rain on his parade, besides, i only donated $3 - take that!

when we got home i asked Z if he wanted boiled eggs in addition to confetti & candy filled eggs & he said yes, but when i told him he had to help, he decided that wasn't necessary. i was fine with that, but seriously? putting eggs in the pan & some water was too much trouble? that kid!

it shouldn't have surprised me that he also decided he didn't want to help with coloring eggs; to that i responded confetti eggs were not happening then. in my opinion coloring the eggs is part of easter, so color with me kid or else! he crumbled & we colored & he enjoyed it [i made him]. we played with double dipping & coloring 2 shades, etc & then when we were done Z sorted them all by color & intensity, mommy's little ocd monster!

sunday was a different day though; reality was crashing in all around me. i wanted to be happy, it was easter; but nana, almost a year since dad's passing, all the job hunting rejection, put me on the edge of tears for most of the day. i pushed through it though.

my mom came over, she gave Z a basket & a toy. B & I hid Z's eggs (we didn't get caught this time!), Z had his hunt (again) & we gave him a couple of little toys. we had ham, potato salad & green salad, there was no room for cake; Z didn't have room for food.

then my mom & i went to visit nana for a little bit. when we returned, all of us put the confetti eggs together, one of those family moments i hope Z remembers. it was getting late though & bc the glue needed to dry i wasn't even sure we'd get to confetting. i said something to Z about waiting for the next day, then i remember i had a stash from last year, it was only a dozen, but if the neighbors came over it was only 3 kids so that was plenty. i sent J a text & it worked out, they came over & we all had a good time. the boys especially, little M wasn't so sure about things, but i think part of that was she was just tired.

so now i have a bigger stash, i'm thinking they will be used at a birthday party or something, cinco de mayo's right around the corner too. like we really need an excuse to crack eggs on each other's heads....