Tuesday, September 29, 2009

military bs

so, we're almost done with B's military gig. a little over a week ago he hit his 20 year marker & officially Oct 1 he is no longer an enlisted marine - SWEET! we are free, free, free!

today we went to base to change our paperwork over to "retired people's insurance". initially B had asked me to go drop it off, but we knew the chances of something going wrong woud be incredible if i went alone. he was hedging towards not going because he has facial hair...yeah, that's quite a big deal if you're still active duty, but finally he decided he'd better come along.

the lady putting in the change was having problems with her computer & she asked someone for some help, the program wouldn't accept our info. she kept on trying but it just wouldn't go & then finally she figured it out - the program was auto-populating B's ex-wife's information....& it wouldn't let her delete it.

doesn't that kinda tell you HOW f-ed up the government is? hmmmm?
yeah, he's been divorced over 15 years. i realize she's in his file history, but why auto-populate info that old?
so i told the lady, let me have a whack at your program, i'm sure i can get her out.

as we left i told B it WAS a good thing he came along because can you imagine the phone call i would have made asking him wtf she was showing up on the insurance request? hahahahah!

Monday, September 28, 2009

vw disco & trapped like a rat

we got the vw when i was 12 months pregnant. ok, i was only in my 8th month, but i was huge & everywhere i went people would ask me if i was ok because they knew i was about to explode. while i can't say i love the car, it's been reliable & i'm quite pleased it made it through 4 years in the desert, something we weren't sure would happen.

just a few months before we moved the vw decided to occasionally no longer recognize when the driver's side door was closed. the vw is too stupid smart for it's own good & when it thinks the door is ajar there's a red light on the dash, an audible alarm, a delayed ringing alarm & flashing lights. oh & there's an actual screen where the car talks & it says "the door is open dumbass", only i'm not the dumbass the car is, the door is closed, but it won't listen to me...

to drown out the myriad of alarms i just turn the music up louder. as for the lights, well for a minute i considered changing out each of the interior bulbs to a different color so i could have a cool flashing light show in the car, but decided against it & shut them off completely.

this weekend B decided he would take apart the door to fix the switch. um, that was harder than anticipated, there's the exterior panel, an interior panel, he removed the glass, then he took off the window upper/downer (that didn't need to come off) & finally he got to the door opener/closer switchy (are you keeping up? i'm using highly technical terms here). the circuit board inside the door opener/closer switchy is what we were after but it was fine, so we're f'ed hosed sol at a loss as to what to do next.

so the vw is in pieces in the garage & that means if i'm going to drive i have to take the truck. Z & I did go to the library yesterday, parking was a disaster in an empty parking lot so even though we needed to make a costco trip i was so not going to go & attempt to park that truck. at costco. on sunday. in the afternoon. in a ridiculously small parking lot to start out with. when i got home & told B why i didn't go his solution was "you could have gone to the other costco". see, i kid you not!

this morning i took Z to school in the truck & ran my errands. i was at costco before it even opened. i still parked fairly far away from the front door, in a good spot no one around me anywhere & i could pull right through when i left. (seriously, lots of planning needed!) so i go get the essentials (milk, bread, coffee cheesecake. what? who put that there?) then left. the parking lot had filled up in just a few minutes. yikes! cars on either side of me! & behind me! ah, still open in front so i could pull through!

i throw everything in the backseat, climb in, start the truck, put it in D & guess what? yup, a suburban comes screeching in right in front of me. f, thanks lady i change over to R & back & forth & back & forth & OMG how many times am i going to have to do this? i only have a few inches of space! so finally i think i'm at my last go round & i can pull forward & not hit the car next to me, inch by inch forward, slow, slow, slow & the bitch suburban lady says "you got it". i should have just pinned her!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

self inflicted

it's fall, that means i'm due for a self inflicted wound (as in more than just a little one, that's...daily). so i looked through my archive was disappointed that i haven't documented the history. i'm really surprised about that because i KNOW i thought about writing about it....

alright, the history has to start somewhere, so here goes:
i don't remember if it was our 1st or 2nd year in the desert, i'm thinking it was the first when B was gone to maryland for 6 or so weeks & i didn't really know anyone. whenever B is gone, the house is on lockdown; i make sure all the window locks are fastened, door locks are in place as soon as we're home & sticks are in sliding glass doors. then before i go to bed i go around & make sure everything is STILL like that because i'm a little ocd about such things.

so i was in the kitchen, at the slider, in the dark & i bent down to make sure the stick was in place. (one wouldn't think such a dangerous action right? but this is me) there's a table near the space i was at & well, i bumped into it. okay, it was more than a bump, i just about knocked myself out. let's put it this way, i was glad i wasn't wearing my glasses because i might have broken them i hit the table so hard.

i went to the bathroom, tried not to panic as i rinsed the blood off my eyebrow, telling myself, lots of blood vessels there, it doesn't mean there's a large cut. i had a gash about 1/2-3/4 of an inch in my eyebrow. i debated on going to the hospital to get a couple of stitches, but Z was asleep & i didn't want to wake him & have to take him with me, so i decided to just leave it. my bangs covered it for the most part, but i looked like frankenstein if you knew where to look.
several years later, i still have the scar.


i didn't think much of the episode until the follow sept/oct i again injured myself in a way that took at least a month to recover from. this time it wasn't as eventful, i was in the garage getting something & stepped around the lawnmower. somehow or another my little toe managed to get stuck on something somewhere; it hurt some, but was really surprised that i had a purple foot for several weeks.

3 days ago, we're still moving things around & i was on the search for the iron (for Z's cape). i was pretty sure it was in the hall closet, so i was moving things around on the bottom part & remembered i had an empty shelf on the top part so both doors were open, move, shuffle, move, stand, sit, etc. yeah, i found the iron & got some stuff better organized.

when i was done i stood up.
(sounds innocent enough, no? again, this is me)
i forgot the top door was open & when i stood up do you think i made impact or missed?

yeah, hit. hard.
i actually fell back onto the floor, hot & nauseous. i laid there for a few minutes, mad at myself, then i felt the bump on my head grow. i got an ice pack & sat on the sofa hoping it wouldn't get worse. i was concerned if it did i should probably go have it looked at; but if that was the case, i certainly shouldn't drive, B was at school & he didn't take his phone so i couldn't call him. i sat there for about an hour, chilling my head & gathering my wits (luckily there's only a few).

when B came home i told him about the progress on the cape & he said "that's it?" excuse me, i had to take a little break to fix my head!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

who's the bully?

yesterday Z brought home some rocks from the school playground. in the past he's told me when he grows up he wants to be a fisherman & recently he changed to vet, but yesterday he was giving geologist a whirl. the rocks he brought home had a little sparkle to him & he said he was searching for gold.

this morning when i took him to school he asked me to stay with him while he played. we walked over to the swings, but then he decided he wanted to dig for more rocks. there were already 2 boys digging in the spot & Z was perplexed about the situation. so i suggested he dig in a different spot nearby; he didn't like that idea. so then i told him to ask the boys if he could dig with them, so he asked. they said no.

at first i was like "oh, well that's life, get used to it Z" but then i remembered something...hahahahaha i'm an adult & you're just a bunch of kids that i can push around!!!! so i said to them "alright you little f-ing bastards why can't he play with you? he asked nicely"

& don't you know, they didn't have an answer so they let Z play with them.

Monday, September 21, 2009

just put your lips together...

& blow...right?
no, not so much.

i can't whistle.
at all.
i've tried all different ways with my lips, moving my tongue this way or that, sticking fingers in my mouth, lessons from friends & i just can not do it.
the wind whistles better than i do, but i still try.

B likes to make fun of me; often he'll tell Z to ask me whistle just so they can have a laugh. Z can't whistle either though, maybe it's genetic. ok, probably not because he can't snap his fingers either.

sometimes when we're out & about & i'm trying to get B's attn i'll whistle at him. so can you guess where this is going? the other day we were at the store B heard the whistle & whistled back, only it wasn't me. hahaha! someone ELSE whistles like that!

Friday, September 18, 2009

sorry Lady

so Lady is more of an outdoor dog, unless it's really hot or cold out she prefers to be outside. well, her absolute preference it to have the door open so she can come & go as she pleases...country....i know. she likes to come inside & check on everyone & of course, the carpet is great for napping.

we often call her "Bird" [i'm not exactly sure how i came up with it, the only thing i can think of is on king of the hill, his dog is LadyBird] anywho, Bird is more fitting for her anyways, the dog is much closer to being a bird than she is to being a lady.

normally she sticks closer to B, but lately she's been following me around. the other night when B came to bed he heard snoring from my side of the bed. he knows that is really unlikely to be me & sure enough, he found her sleeping on the floor next to me.

last night i was really tired when i went to bed (the room was dark & i wasn't wearing my glasses) & when i walked into the bedroom my foot landed on something warm. no, take that back it was hot....and it had hair....but i was 1/2 asleep, so it took some time for me to even be concerned about the fact that it wasn't carpet.
oh, sorry Lady.
i must not have put very much weight on her because she hardly moved & didn't make a sound [or she was SOUND asleep], but she finally got up & i managed to get into bed. then i laid there & thought about M's story when she (also in the dark & sans glasses) kicked what she thought was a shirt left on the floor but ended up being the cat!!!!!!

Monday, September 14, 2009

feeding frenzy

since the 1st week of school Z's been asking me to join him for lunch. in the morning he would say "momma, do you have a job today? can you please come have lunch with me?"
i was really torn; so difficult to say no & make him eat alone; but i knew he needed to make some friends. i suggested he ask a classmate if they could sit together & he took his lunch one day to see how that worked. today, week 3, i went.

i showed up early & waited outside his classroom. we walked together to the cafeteria, he turned in his lunch card, got his pizza then went over to the "salad bar" (lettuce, celery & carrot sticks, raisins, pineapple chunks). the pizza looked awful, but better than the chicken balls (not as in testicle, i think they were itty bitty baby nuggets).

then we went to sit outside next to agatha. as soon as we sit, she grabs his milk, opens & inserts the straw for him [talk about service!]. then i realize, wow, LOUDNESS! i don't see how they can eat with all that noise. YELLING, everywhere, for anything, to kids right next to them, anarchy!!! he hardly ate anything then declared he was finished & ready to go to the playground.

Z's favorite thing is the swings, he finally learned how to make it go all by himself. one of the kids repeatedly came up to me to ask "has the 2nd bell rang?" um, i don't know, i'm not paying attention to the bells, HAHAHAHAHA i'm not in school anymore, tttthhhhhhbbbbbb!!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

now, i'm a lil scared

when the house was a rental, the first guy, when we came to do a walk through inspection nonchalantly mentioned he had rats. yeah, like it was no big deal whatsoever....
we hired an exterminator to set death traps & poison everywhere, had the front tree limbs all trimmed back away from the house & B installed extra seals along the garage. it took awhile but finally [because he'd waited until it was bad] the exterminator said all the meeces were gone.

our next renter, a really nice woman whom we hated to kick out [but hey i wasn't staying in the desert, so sorry....] contacted us right away when the rodents returned. although we maintained the exterminator company the entire time, the situation got worse before it got better, but it was taken care of. when she moved out she told us a meece had even jumped on her bed at night!!!!!!

so we know the meeces like this house & they tell their friends & extended family to come on over. in addition to that, the house behind us is vacant, which one wouldn't think much of however the neighbors have told us it's rat haven. [awesome....] it's so bad they've contacted the leinholder [yup, it's in foreclosure] & requested they do something about the meeces. you know what that means right? if the leinholder does eradicate the meeces from that house, guess where they're gonna go?

ok, that's not even the worse part, a few days ago, in an effort to be proactive we bought some poison blocks & threw them in the green belt behind the back fence. i made sure they were all far enough away that they could not be reached by little Z arms or by curious dog. [trust me she was curious, she thought i was throwing treats] then yesterday we found evidence that Lady [the dog] had eaten the poison!!!!!!

yup, turquoise poop.

she never showed any signs whatsoever, so apparently it wasn't enough to hurt her, but WTF???? there is absolutely no way any piece of poison could have been reached from this side of the yard, so the only thing we can guess is.....it was brought back!!!! did the meeces declare war & in retaliation they're taking out the dog?

Friday, September 11, 2009


8 years....unbelievable...
B & I were newlyweds [is that the right term if you elope?]. we'd only lived in the house 6 months. i was working at the soils place & had just finished college. B was working nights & for the most part, we only saw each other on the weekends. we were just learning about house improvement stuff & B was scheduled to go to japan in the summer.
[notice how Z wasn't even a blip on the map, sorry pumpkin!]

maybe i'm out of the loop, but today didn't seem to have the gusto i expected; that makes me a little sad. i expected more hoopla, it wasn't until just now the news showed some 9/11 memorial services, but i hadn't heard about anything beforehand.

i don't want to be morbid, i just don't want to forget or have it forgotten.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

i put a hex on....myself, darn it!

yeah, homework tonight was a complete f'ing MESS.
it shouldn't have been; he knew what to expect, part of it was a repeat process & the other part i had told him about in the morning. the work wasn't difficult he was being difficult [i'm being really nice with that because i'm his mother & i love him, but OMG, this kid is SO going to be the death of me!!!!].

in the end i wasn't even helping him. "fine, read the book, make up whatever words you want, write the sentences however you want, i don't care, it's not my homework."
[he'll be writing his own version of mommy dearest one day]

so then, THEN, after we're all done with the fripping homework i go through his backback to see if there was anything & i find a letter from teach. i asked for it, i know, stupid me.....
work on the following at home:
* counting by ones to 100
* " " 5's to 100
* " " 10's to 100
* writing numbers to 100
* counting on to add (locate the larger number & count up)
* commit to memory addition & subtraction facts to 20
* recognize coins (name & value)

um, he knows this stuff, he's tested on it.
what he is though is S-L-O-W. really slow, like you can't even imagine slow, like you think he's doing something else but he isn't slow.

so i don't know.
i'm torn.
maybe i was wrong.
maybe he isn't ready for 2nd grade &
maybe he would be better off repeating 1st.
i know i can't do another year of fighting every single night for hours to help him get his homework done. i don't want him to think of me that way nor do i want him to hate school & learning.

bits & pieces

[i believe joan jett did a remake of that song, not sure]
not much going on around here...the boy continues to get up at 7am. i guess i shouldn't complain though, could be worse, there could be tears & a wake up battle every morning, right?
yesterday i got up about 7:45, i hadn't heard any sounds so i thought he was still in bed [only to scare myself when i found it empty]. he was already dressed, had breakfast & was sitting on the sofa wrapped up in a blanket. it must have been my semi-annual night of good sleep is why i didn't hear him...
& today i found him playing outside with the dog when i got up.
he also did better on night 2 of homework, so all is well on that front.


the painting bug is about to bite soon. i'm looking around here, i want to do things, but its really difficult to commit to something huge [like redoing the ENTIRE kitchen] when i'm unemployed & B is schooling. so paint is cheap...although i cringe every time i look at the 18 year old linoleum in the kitchen, or find another frozen item in the refrigerator, or accidentally use the micro above the stove instead of the 1980s one on the counter [because the installed one is slower than cooking on the stove!!!]. somewhere along the line this house turned into ghetto house numero dos - wtf?


i have not made a single bit of tangible progress on Z's costume. i've thought about it a lot, conceptualized how i'm going to do it [no pattern, straight winging in...i know, i'm just WILD like that....or maybe stupid, whatever...semantics people...]. part of the problem is the only working space i have to set up the sewing machine is the dining room table & right now, that's homework central for both boys. so what am i supposed to do? work in the backyard? i mean, let's be honest here, neither one of them are really gung ho about homework in the 1st place [ok nobody is, but compared to average]. B's already dropped his speech class & is still complaining about homework & tests blah, blah, blah, wait until he takes a 200 level class!!! i'm so happy i don't go to school anymore lalalalalala.


i FINALLY got this blog under my "sayittojustme" username. it wasn't that complicated once i figured it out, but it was a pain in the interim. so yah for me!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

made contact

finally! i brought my homework from Z's class in this morning; i was shocked to find his teacher in the classroom. i put the stack of math lessons on the counter & she asked "this is the whole book?"
"yes, that's all of it" [she said we could do chapters, but i'd rather get it done & back to her so i don't have it looming over my head]

Z was still there, so i asked him to go to the playground so i could speak with teach some. i told her once she had spent some time with him, because we came from a different school district, i was very concerned about where he fell in comparison to his classmates.

teach said she had done some evaluations last week already & could tell me he was low. [surprise] however, this school is nothing like the old school: he's already going mon-thurs to a reading lab [YESSSSS!!!], she's changed the seating arrangement so he sits next to one of the best readers in class so a peer can help him & she also said there's a group of slow readers in the class that she spends extra time with [bonus, he's not at the bottom of the barrel by himself].

the other thing she mentioned is he has trouble focusing. yeah, i know but i don't know what to do about it....i find it infuriating as well.

never wake a sleeping bear

it was a long weekend, but we didn't do anything special, made a bit more progress around the house.
oh, Z decided to be a vampire for halloween. i bought the fabric to make a black & red cape, so we'll see how that works out. this costume won't have as much leeway as the frankenstein....raw edges were acceptable on that one.

on mon night i made sure to tell Z the next day was school & he would get homework this week. he actually said "yah!" [whuuut? he must have thought i said he was getting chocolate pudding, not homework]

he was up at 7am today. that may not sound alarming, but hes a boy, he can get ready in about 10 min, so he could get up at 8:15 & be ready on time for school. he was already in the kitchen getting his cereal, so i told him it was early, really early, that he should go back to bed but he didn't.

i did though & quickly fell back asleep; only to be wakened shortly thereafter by his little face about 1 inch from mine whispering "what do i do now?" i told him to brush is hair, his teeth & get his shoes on & he was off & i was back asleep as it was still only 7:15 or so.

before i knew it there he was again, whispering "ok what now?" & when i open my eyes he's right there almost nose to nose with me. i had been awake between 3 & 5 am so i was kinda tired; i think he was hoping he could watch cartoons, but with the way things happened i told him instead to practice writing his numbers.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

back to school night

really wasn't much...
started out in the cafeteria, an introduction to the school, a few rules, etc. the biggest thing was the school is part of a healthy eating district. i think that's great, especially after the crap they served at Z's old school. [their pb&j's weren't even made on real bread, they were made with graham crackers & were prepackaged!!!]

so, healthy eating, that's great right? yes
HOWEVER, the pendulum swings to the other side now....
no cakes, cookies, ice cream, candy or sodas are served by the school & are not allowed at the school.
not even for birthdays, they suggested a fruit platter!!! [sorry, just not the same as a deathbychocolate cake]
the principal said she's actually confiscated a cake before.

after that we went to Z's classroom for a talkin to by teach. she had paperwork handouts for all of us, which she also read to us. the main thing was she talked about how bad budget cuts were & how she needed all kinds of help, in the classroom, outside the class, even supplies [like paper, every kid was asked to bring in a ream of paper].

so i offered to help out on one project & also told her i could come in to the class if she needed anything. i plan on asking her for a parent/teacher conference once she's spent some time with Z & can give me some feedback about where he's at, what he needs help with & what i can do.

week 1 is done. on sat Z got up, got dressed & was getting ready for breakfast when i found him. he thought it was a school day although i had specifically told him the night before that it was a stay home day. he was really upset, but i guess that's a good thing. we'll see how he feels after week 2 & he gets homework!

Friday, September 4, 2009

such a girly girl

my back has really been bothering me the past few weeks, i've been doing all kinds of stretches & yoga & anyfrickenthingicanthinkof to try to relieve the pain. really, i even wake up throughout the night because it just hurts.

so today i asked B if he would try to pop my back for me.
it didn't work.
then he gave me a back massage.
it was nice, but no dice [such rhymer!]

then i gave up & asked him to put some weight on me. i was laying on the living room floor face down & he laid down on top of me, but he didn't put all his weight on me so i told him not to hold back. so he let all his weight down on me.

then i said "holy shit you're heavy!!!!" & proceeded to get a case of the giggles.

he replied "ok, once you stop giggling i'll get off of you"

me "i'm crying from laughing"
& more laughter

Thursday, September 3, 2009

2 more days down

well, really only 1 1/2, but that's splitting hairs....

yesterday morning when I took Z to school he asked me to go into class with him. i told him we could ask teach, but it probably wouldn't happen, that she doesn't like having parents in the classroom. so Z puts her on the spot right in front of the entire class "can my mom come to the classroom?" [i don't know if that's a kid thing, or a B trait, but even at 38 i can't imagine doing that]

anyways, she gave me a deer in the headlights look, so i quickly gave her an easy out & said to him "today's not a good day honey". teach then asked if he wanted to show me something in the class & he said yes, so she said he could show me at back to school night.

at the end of the day Z told me he had been called to an office to do some reading. i'm guessing they're evaluating him because he's a new student, or it could be that they are checking to see if he really does have a reading issue. if it's the latter, i hope this means Z will finally get the help i worked so hard for (& failed to get) for him last year at that stupid school that preferred to have him repeat a grade rather than provide assistance.

this morning, again Z asked if i could go to the classroom. teach responded with "i wish you would have asked before the bell" so i responded with "oh, i didn't realize you were in the classroom" then she told me "i'm not, but the door is unlocked". maybe it's just me, but i would not feel right about entering her classroom without any previous discussion about it. i did catch that she has a slight accent & her words are a bit delayed, so i think english is probably not her primary language which is part of her hesitance to speak with anyone. [or maybe i'm looking for excuses for her]

so here's the paper Z brought home yesterday, the only real feedback i'm getting about school so far:

My First Week of 2nd Grade

The first time I walked into my new classroom, I liked that everything was clean. [like his father, likes stuff clean but sure isn't gonna do it himself]

On the first day of school I sat next to Camila

The most surprising thing about the first day of school was that my teacher was nice. [do you think she gave them the answer for that one?]

My new teacher likes to drink Jamba juice. [with a double shot of vodka]

The most interesting thing we did in class this week was making paper Dolls. [of themselves]

I have made some new friends. Their names are Alonzo, Alex and KC. [finally, he's been complaining about not having any friends]

I think that this will be a good year because it will be easy. [little does he know]

so all his spelling was good, capitalized appropriately (except for Dolls), each sentence ended with a period & his writing wasn't bad [well, you know, for a 7yo boy]

tonight is back to school night, i hope to get another chance to speak with teach more & ask her to contact me to set up a p/t conference to discuss where he's at academically & what i can do at home to help him. i also will let her know if she needs any help in the classroom i can come in, maybe that will soften her up a bit. [otherwise i'm bringing out the sledgehammer]

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

the new teach

so yeah, yesterday she was quite....um.....how do i put this? not friendly, yeah, that's the best i can say.
nothing was said at the line up spot, she walked everyone to class, had the kids enter the classroom & said goodbye to parents.
i stopped her as she was shutting the door & told her Z was new to the school & needed to be shown everything, she said she had a couple of new students & would take care of it.
then she shut the door & all the parents had their wet noses faces pressed up against the glass, it was comical!

[wow, this is the 3rd time i've logged into type this post today...i don't even have a lot to say, but this is my life]

at the end of the day when we picked up Z, he said he had a good day & he liked his teacher. she sent home a little letter saying we would all meet at parents night along with outlining class rules which required parent & student signatures. he got a star for the day - YAH!

this morning we walked to school, Z was happy to go. we just had enough time to drop off his backpack at class & were heading towards the playground when the bell rang, so instead we went over to his line-up spot. he was the first one in line but some other kid weaseled his way in front of Z, he took it in stride though & didn't say or do anything!!!

that kid has no idea how lucky he is to not have had pavement for breakfast!!

so B acknowledged to Z how good it was the way he handled the situation & didn't floor his classmate. i didn't even realize it but teach was standing there & said "oh, you're Z's parents?"

wow, existence acknowledged!

Z had another good day today, so i'm happy for him.
i'm not happy about the way teach is doing things though.