Saturday, September 26, 2009

self inflicted

it's fall, that means i'm due for a self inflicted wound (as in more than just a little one, that's...daily). so i looked through my archive was disappointed that i haven't documented the history. i'm really surprised about that because i KNOW i thought about writing about it....

alright, the history has to start somewhere, so here goes:
i don't remember if it was our 1st or 2nd year in the desert, i'm thinking it was the first when B was gone to maryland for 6 or so weeks & i didn't really know anyone. whenever B is gone, the house is on lockdown; i make sure all the window locks are fastened, door locks are in place as soon as we're home & sticks are in sliding glass doors. then before i go to bed i go around & make sure everything is STILL like that because i'm a little ocd about such things.

so i was in the kitchen, at the slider, in the dark & i bent down to make sure the stick was in place. (one wouldn't think such a dangerous action right? but this is me) there's a table near the space i was at & well, i bumped into it. okay, it was more than a bump, i just about knocked myself out. let's put it this way, i was glad i wasn't wearing my glasses because i might have broken them i hit the table so hard.

i went to the bathroom, tried not to panic as i rinsed the blood off my eyebrow, telling myself, lots of blood vessels there, it doesn't mean there's a large cut. i had a gash about 1/2-3/4 of an inch in my eyebrow. i debated on going to the hospital to get a couple of stitches, but Z was asleep & i didn't want to wake him & have to take him with me, so i decided to just leave it. my bangs covered it for the most part, but i looked like frankenstein if you knew where to look.
several years later, i still have the scar.


i didn't think much of the episode until the follow sept/oct i again injured myself in a way that took at least a month to recover from. this time it wasn't as eventful, i was in the garage getting something & stepped around the lawnmower. somehow or another my little toe managed to get stuck on something somewhere; it hurt some, but was really surprised that i had a purple foot for several weeks.

3 days ago, we're still moving things around & i was on the search for the iron (for Z's cape). i was pretty sure it was in the hall closet, so i was moving things around on the bottom part & remembered i had an empty shelf on the top part so both doors were open, move, shuffle, move, stand, sit, etc. yeah, i found the iron & got some stuff better organized.

when i was done i stood up.
(sounds innocent enough, no? again, this is me)
i forgot the top door was open & when i stood up do you think i made impact or missed?

yeah, hit. hard.
i actually fell back onto the floor, hot & nauseous. i laid there for a few minutes, mad at myself, then i felt the bump on my head grow. i got an ice pack & sat on the sofa hoping it wouldn't get worse. i was concerned if it did i should probably go have it looked at; but if that was the case, i certainly shouldn't drive, B was at school & he didn't take his phone so i couldn't call him. i sat there for about an hour, chilling my head & gathering my wits (luckily there's only a few).

when B came home i told him about the progress on the cape & he said "that's it?" excuse me, i had to take a little break to fix my head!


  1. hairline skull fracture!
    well take it from they wouldn't have done anything for you. and as long as you weren't acting loopy (or any worse than normal...ha ha ha) you were doing all you could do. thank goodness you didn't pass out. could you imagine...awoken by a long wet lickery kiss from lady!! lol

  2. yeah, she totally would have taken advantage of my past-outedness!


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