Wednesday, January 30, 2008


you know just because I was off pretty much all week doesn't give anyone around here the right to expect me to work this week. i worked like a whole 4 hours last week.....ok, I guess the "work" term is debatable, but I was here, available. Anyways, so yeah, back to earning my keep AGAIN & no time for posting my rantings, priorities people, priorities….it's wednesday & I didn't make a single post last week!

i think i'm a rather resourceful person, i can usually find something to do, keep myself busy. i mean if you gave me a box of rocks i would organize them 12 different ways; i'm an only child, i have a master's degree in how to keep yourself entertained & i've had many years in training on how to look busy in lieu of taking on additional responsibilities in the workplace.

so when i accepted this position & my soon-to-be boss asked "do you think you will find this position challenging enough for you?" well, let's see here, my unemployment runs out next week…so, yes, i'm sure i can handle it.

in the past beyond the usual work scope i've always been able to find something to destroy so i could rebuild it & make it better somehow, but here i'm unable to do that. i've organized the supply closet, taken everything out of the filing cabinets & created a filing system, re-arranged the equipment in the bathroom (yup, that's our equipment room!), taken a few online courses & spent countless hours on the internet. i suppose if i were a better person i could have used half of that internet time getting a 2nd or maybe even 3rd degree.

Monday, January 28, 2008

thanks to "the D"

if you're grossed out by bodily functions – go away, don't read! you've been warned!

friday nite/early sat am i woke throughout the night to an orchestra in my intestines. & when i say orchestra, i'm not talking Mozart, I'm talking dr. suess's whos its & whats its bringing down the house…& bring down the house they did!

B & i woke with the absolute worst case of diarrhea known to man. if this had happened to Z, i would have had him at the hospital within an hour or 2 of it starting it was so bad. thankfully the child was spared but B & i had it in spades.

if i had any clue the day before i would have gone to the grocery store because we were low on food, but we had no warning of the impending debilitating disease. B & i weren't eating much, but we needed something & the child had recovered from his illness so he was eating everything you put in front of him.

i managed to shower, but didn't have the strength (& honestly, was afraid to venture so far from a toilet) to make it to the store, so we finally decided we had to make a call for help. so B called in a huge favor to "the D", that was an embarrassing call "yeah, the adults have the shits, the child can't drive & he's starving, could you bring us a loaf of bread? Just drive by & fling it at the door like a newspaper, don't stop"

Thanks to "the D" for saving our lives!

Friday, January 25, 2008

sd trip

i woke up with a cold but took some nyquil (is it just me or does green nyquil = jagermeister?, really why did we have all those jagermeister shots at Moose's cuz the stuff really sucks). when i woke the 2nd time i felt better & decided the trip to mom's was on. B had to go for work no matter what, but i didn't think i would be able to take care of Z by myself, so we tagged along carrying all our cooties with us.

i don't know if it's because i was sick or because i've been away from my mom for awhile, but DANG girlfriend is a drama QUEEN & i was having issues dealing with it. she was in a panicked state because she said the area around Z's nose was blue so she was concerned he wasn't getting enough oxygen. Serious, she wasn't joking. Uh, hello, mom, maybe it has to do with the fact that your lighting is so poor that it's actually shadows on his face, not a blue hue signifying poor oxygen levels.

on thurs B & mom both had to work, so Z & i stayed in bed & slept. we all met for lunch late in the afternoon, but Z & I still had small appetites & it was far from a birthday celebration. the rain was nice though. that night we were supposed to go out for a birthday dinner for my mom, but we were all low on energy so my mom decided to stay home to watch Z while B & i went & picked up some pho (pronounced "fuh" (haha, insert naughty joke if you wish) it's vietnamese soup that's YUMMY).

when we returned my mom was having another panic attack because Z was coughing & she was worried he was going to throw up. he used to do that but I think he's finally grown out of it & i guess, i'm used to it & can tell when it's the vomit-cough, so to me her anxiety was unnecessary. maybe i just didn't have the energy to deal with it, i don't know, so i sat with Z & rubbed on his back so he relaxed & his coughing subsided some & we all watch his dinosaur movie, which made him happy.

On friday morning B woke up with the bug, so instead of heading to Vegas we headed home. the drive was nice, there was snow all the way up to the road in places. Z wanted to stop & play but we didn't feel well enough. We were happy to be home. B didn't even feel well enough to play his game – now that's sick!

i didn't even get to go to target - wah!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

sick Z

MLK weekend was supposed to be a MUCH needed get away weekend. We had many options, go to sd, go to vegas, go to the snow, if nothing else at least go to town, but none of that happened. On sun am Z woke up with a "not sure which end it's gonna come out of" bug.

First he sat on the toilet in our bathroom, then for some reason he decided he wanted to go to his bathroom & you know they say the important thing to learn as a parent is to choose your battles right (who knew there would be THIS many battles), so i made no attempts to argue & let him go. I ran ahead to his bathroom to get the toilet seat prepped, then I see him waddling his way over.

Although this was his decision, his want, his choice, he came stumbling over with his pants around his ankles. Don't ya think if you were in that situation, not sure what was going to happen, you would either pull the pants up or fling them off to make the dash to the next receptacle as quick as possible???

It ended up being both ends & he was sick all week but because i can be incredibly selfish at times, we still went my mom's on wed. I know I'm a bad mother, he was too sick to go to school (well not really, I just didn't want him to have an accident & then be known for the rest of his life as the kid who shits in his pants, so really it was for his best interest) & I woke up sick on wed, but really we NEEDED to get away.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

excited about

So we haven't been out of town since the trip to Chicago for thanksgiving. (Yeah, I know I didn't make posts about that, nor of Christmas. I will at some point I'm waiting for the memory of Z's behavior to wane & only remember the good parts. It will be posted at some point in the future, for now it sits in my head fermenting.)

Anyways, yes, I'm going insane in mayberry. I do feel the walls closing in & it's difficult to breathe. It's been over 8 weeks of grocery store, walmart & a few trips to mervyns as my only outings. I've got ants in my pants – remember that from sparks?

To postpone the anxiety attack, I bought a steamer the other day at walmart. One you use to steam your clothes instead of using an iron. I never really had the desire for one, but when you're bored, you're bored. The normal chaos of life impeding me from using that thing right away though, so there it sat, probably 2 weeks. I remember telling my mom about how excited I was about using it & I would just look over at the unopened box. I can still hear my mom say "oh…" with such disappointment you would have thought I told her I was hooked on drugs. Yeah, it has come that far that I am THAT excited about a steamer.

I finally got the chance this weekend to use it – eh, is my rating for it. The garment doesn't have a crisp finish of an iron however it does remove the "i've slept in this" look – more than acceptable for my workplace.

Friday, January 18, 2008

just a little hyper

i was impressed with how much Z's school taught him about MLK - he made a little mobile with a cloud & birds, etc, they also colored a book explaining peace & being kind to one another.

one day when i picked him up from his afternoon school they warned me that he may be a little hyper (really, my kid?) because they had ice cream & cookies, then their food project for the day was making popcorn balls.

ya know, i don't know what these darn people were thinking, at best the child is already beyond my capabilities, then they go & fill him with sugar & hand him off to me – is there a hidden camera somewhere to record my reaction? so when we get home he's running at full capacity around the house, really they are little sketcher (yes sketcher, not sneakers or tennis shoes, he will argue with you if you call them that!) prints on the walls where he did his "I have a dream! I have a dream!" march, it was hilarious.

yeah, this says it all

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Z's already quite the player. His 1st love was Elise but she didn't want nothing to do with him. Then he found Madeline & that was love. he & M would wait for each other to play at the pre-school playground, the teachers would even tell me how cute they thought their friendship was. eventually the pre-school couple had to break it off though because M's dad didn't like her having a boyfriend at such a young age...

and in case you're wondering – yeah, he kissed her…

i've tried explaining to him about maybe he needs to wait a little while before he kisses a girl, like until he's 12 or so…but one day when I went to his class a swarm of little girls came up to me & told me to tell him to stop kissing them…nice…

we talk again & I tell him not be kissing the girls, that the girls don't want his kisses & his teacher is helping out & telling him that he's spreading germs by going around & kissing EVERYONE

now our evening conversation goes:
how was your day?
were you a good boy?
did you kiss anyone?

thankfully we've reached a lull in the kissing stage but he told me the girls are now chasing him because they want kisses…

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

just couldn’t hold out any longer

i couldn't hold out any longer, i know i said i wasn't going to get my haircut in forever, but I just couldn't take it anymore…everyday i would look at my hair & just hate it, there wasn't anything i could do with it, it was just bad, bad, bad. well, there were 2 days that it wasn't so bad but that was because i wore a hat & only my bangs hung out & a couple of little curls peaked out the back & it looked somewhat cute.

So I asked a friend where she got her hair cut. Alright, she's not really my friend, she's Z's friend's mommy, I don't really have friends here. The townspeople aren't the friendliest folk & I'm not either, so we tend to repel each other. But Z's friend's mommy is also a military wife so she knows all too well what it's like to be alienated, nice to have a comrade.

Anyways, back to the story…so I got my hair fixed last night. She agreed, it was no where near a bob; then she looked at the back & was like, wow, that's a lot of layers. Yup, sure is! So she washes my hair & combs it out & says "I can kinda see a haircut in there, but it's a bad one & really bad for your hair" – duh, like I don't know this, I've been living with this mess on my head for 3 weeks.

She makes some cuts & then says she wants to dry it – because that's when my hair's true attributes come to life. Any of you remember my straight hair? well get this, she has to use a flat iron on my hair! My super-duper straight ass hair needs a flat iron because it ain't straight no more. Well some of it still is, on the crown, but the rest of my hair is curly & not in a good way & the different parts of my hair don't get along & they are not friends. She made some more cuts, tried to make them be friends & my hair looked significantly better than what it did when i walked in.

When i got home B said my hair looked good, then i went & showered to get all the hair off me. i made somewhat of an attempt to fix it, not too much as that would be 3 rounds of blow-drying in 1 day, so the next time B saw me the beast on my head had returned. the straight part had super volume & is about on an even plane as the top of my head (something like a runway model would spend hours to get her hair to look like but a normal person would be appalled to have such a thing on their head) & the curly part is doing it's own thing but also adding more volume to my hair & B tells me, yeah, maybe she was right & you should get a flat iron…

like i'm going to have time every morning to do that to my hair!

Monday, January 14, 2008

trip to the library

I went to the library after work the other day to re-new Z's books & check one out for me. Beings Z's books were just being re-newed he didn't go with me. I had to walk by the computers to get to the section where I wanted to go & kinda glanced around at the people there as I walked, by not really paying much attn to anything. Then as I'm headed back to the desk to check-out my book I notice the guy at the first computer INTENTLY looking at the screen because he's watching porn at the public library - ick!

Later as I'm reading Z his bug book, I say something about how the spider has blue eyes like he does & he almost starts crying because he says his eyes are turning green & he doesn't like it. Granted when he was a baby he had stunning crisp blue eyes (from B's mom) but he's right they are changing to green (my dad's eyes). He has no idea what I would give to have my dad's eyes…& my mom's rack, but i ended up with my mom's brown eyes & my dad's rack & I'm not crying about it.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

watching Chase

last night B was watching some 80's movie called Chase. i've seen parts of it before, but not much & besides i wasn't really paying attn to it when B asks "hey who's that guy? isn't he in a band?" & i recognize anthony kiedis right away but can't remember the band name so i say "californication, roller coaster of love" then i get "red hot chili peppers" & B starts laughing at my thought process - hello, B doesn't know music at ALL, not bands, not songs, nothing, so at least i knew how to get there, i'm even surprised he recognized anthony (he later admitted we'd seen the movie before & i told him it was rhcp)

then in the movie charlie sheen & the girl are headed down to tj - & i'm like hey i recognize that curve on the 5 right before you get the border! hahahaha! memories!!!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I want a cheer

Part of what's so difficult about living in nowheresville is the lack of variety in restaurants – & for someone like me, where food & eating is like an Olympic sport, it really SUCKS.

There are a few Thai/Asian type restaurants but they make really sorry attempts & are very watered-down Americanized excuses for true Thai or Asian food. To make up for this we've had to start cooking our own exotic dishes. I was fortunate enough to get a few authentic Thai recipes from dear little Molly, hand me downs from her grandma, so you know it's the real deal.

Last week we attempted to make red curry chicken. We bought 2 types of sauce (not realizing one had bamboo shoots & other things in there already, which is SO wrong), a few other ingredients & set out to make our dish. I put the sauce in the pan & found the vegetables already in there & immediately was unhappy. Then I also realized vegetables in the jar meant less sauce in the jar, so we had to combine both the sauces. It came out ok, but was more Indian curry than Thai curry, but we like both so no complaints.

Yesterday though I stopped by a different store & found a jar of "red curry paste" & that should really be what we needed. I was so excited about finding it & when I took it home I left it on the counter for B to see. So when he finally was able to escape the alternate universe (game world), I asked him if he saw what I found & he's all calm & bored "yeah, I saw it earlier" & I tell him "that's it? that's all I'm gonna get?" He asks what I expected so I tell him "I want a f-ing cheer!", so he did one; actually he did a few & they were quite cute.

So I've learned I have to ask for what I want…& I'll get it, but it's really difficult for me to ask.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Sing it, baby

"I bear more grudges than lonely high court judges
When you sleep I will creep into your thoughts
Like a bad debt that you can't pay
Take the easy way out & give in
Yeah, let me in…"

Are you singing with me? Do you know who it is? If not you need to go school yourself on SEF (scrawny English fag) music which I love dearly.

Ok, back to the subject matter – were you singing? Because I can't help myself but sing it out loud, the only problem is I was at mervyn's – yeah, they were playing it at mervyn's & there I am belting out Morrissey & don't even realize it until the song is finished because I'm used to the only time I get to hear that kind of music I'm in the personal space of my vehicle, either alone or possibly w/Z (but he doesn't care about how bad I sing!).

So the song finished & they start playing some early 70's mervyn's type music which I also happen to know all the words to but I'm not going to sing because I DO have a shred of dignity (it's a little tiny scrap hanging on under the baby toe of my left foot).

Friday, January 4, 2008

And then my head popped off

Ever since we went to knott's my back has had an issue. It wasn't from the sidewinder, it was from the kiddy rollercoaster I got on w/Z; it had a sharp dip that I knew from the second we hit it, my body was going to suffer.

Normally I can twist, turn, contort my body & relive the pressure, but this was bad so I had to go to the chiropractor. The spot between my shoulder blades was so out of whack he wasn't able to straighten it out. He told me to come back after the weekend for a follow-up (free) treatment because he wanted to try again. He fixed, it but the pain returned so I went to see him today.

The assistant did all the heat/massage/electrical therapy stuff which was all good. Then the doc came in & twisted me this way, then that way, then he pulled me forward & THAT was the ticket! Wow, circulation, blood flow & oxygen, such good things for a body, especially a brain! Who would have thought?

Then he moved on to my neck & he pulled on my head & it cracked in 3 different places & that's when my head popped off & rolled across the floor. Or at least that's what it felt like & the doc's eyes said "holy shit!" but somehow he remained calm (obviously had lots of training for such events) & he told me to lay there until I felt stable, he could tell I was dizzy or maybe my eyes crossed or something. I'm pretty sure that when I walked out of the office my feet weren't touching the ground, I'm floating.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

hear that ringing?

Here's a work funny:

My boss tells me he hears a ringing sound on the phone line & that I need to call for service. so I pick up my phone (line 2) but I don't hear it. Then he says it's on line 1, don't hear it there either so I say "maybe it's in your head".

Then I'm laughing my ass off at how damn funny I am & realize I said it out loud & I'm thinking "shit, maybe that one should have been inside voice" & now I can't help but laugh even harder because I'm probably about to get fired for being such a smartass, but my boss says "yeah, I guess it might be that squirrel finally got on the wheel up there."

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

just wondering

really, all the shopping websites out....would it really be that difficult to filter out "ugly"????? i've spent countless work hours searching through pages & pages of absolutely worthless crap that i know nobody would buy...if you're worried about offending someone by calling it "ugly" you could always say "useless, worthless, no one in their right f-ing mind would buy this shit, but hey you might like it"

new year’s tradition

i've always considered new year's a time to welcome the new year by slapping down a few drinks, but this year i was introduced to a tradition that i thought was worthy of sharing.

ok, here's the easy part, think back about the past year, remember all the good things that happened. all the fun, all the laughter, all the smiles shared with family/friends/loved ones - now be thankful for those times.

now it gets a little harder, remember all the tough times that happened over the past year. think about the pain & suffering that your shared with family/friends/loved ones (or internalized). now for the really hard part - be thankful for those times too. be thankful because we survived those times. our scars, whether on skin or emotional, prove our strength.

i can easily say 2007 was the toughest year of my life & can also easily say that i have loved ones who suffered more than i did, but we made it.

thank you for being there for me when i needed someone, thanks for being my friend.

Happy New Year! Welcome 2008!

now...where's my drink????