on tues i made sure to visit nana, uncle was coming & surprise when i got there a family friend from B-town was also there, she & her daughter i went to hs with. nana wasn't too bad that day, propped up in bed. she didn't talk much, she told me she wasn't feeling well & when they brought her lunch the family friend was able to get her to eat a little chicken & potatoes. my mom also showed up, so nana had a roomful of guests, she wasn't herself, but you could tell she was happy to have people around her.
weds was the day i met with the staff about hospice, the previous post.
on thursday when i went in nana was unresponsive. she was awake but would not respond to my voice or move her eyes at all. if i touched her she would say "ouch" but that was it, her hands/arms were limp if you picked them up. i thought she might be heavily sedated but then she would be asleep right? i asked the nurse & she told me bc of her unresponsiveness they hadn't given her any pain meds that day.
i sat with her for approximately 3hrs, from the way she looked, it was as if she had already passed & her body was merely shutting down. i even texted B & told him i thought she was going. they brought her dinner & there was soup on there so i was hoping i could get her to eat. although i hadn't received any kind of response prior when i asked her she said "water" & she drank a big gulp. shortly after B & Z showed up she moved a little bit more, but it was all automatic/involuntary motions.
i spoke with the nurses again & they asked about hospice, my uncle set up the appt for tuesday. the nurses looked at me bc we all are not sure, considering her current status, if she'll make it to tuesday. i asked them about contacting Dr F, that maybe beings hospice wasn't lined up he might want her admitted to the hospital so she can get the kind of care she needs. at the facility they can't do IVs & she can't take pills in her condition.
when i left there i didn't know if nana would make the night. if i would get a call in the middle of the night. if she would still be with us in the morning. the bits of sleep i got, B was moving/twitching & in my dream he turned into nana having spasms as she past on.
today, fri, B & I met my mom at nana's; she was better than yesterday but still not responding. she did however, roll herself onto her side. seriously, the woman amazes me. my mom force fed her a few bites of potatoes & she drank a fare share of water, definitely more there today.
i got an email from uncle saying he'd gotten his house cleaned & the woman who does the cleaning told him nana may be having a reaction to the morphine & that if i still thought hospice should be started sooner (than tues) to let him know what he needed to do.
SERIOUSLY?????
no offense, but the (*&^$@# housekeeper, no matter how sage the woman is, THAT's who finally gets him in gear????
the oncologist has been telling him for over 6 months, the facility has been telling him for probably 4 or 5 months & i've been bugging him for the past couple of weeks. oh well, all hail the housekeeper bc girlfriend made it happen!
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Friday, April 22, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
the party, THE40
so we did it, we planned, invited & they came! YAH! [except for the whole 40 part]
a celebration for THE40, for March birthdays - B, M, ES & wife (although she's not 40) & L.
actually a few days prior to the party i decided to be good with turning 40. i mean i had the dreams, but i realized the alternative to turning 40 is being dead, so hey, this is awesome! like totally!
we had a backyard bbq & people came throughout the afternoon & some stayed late & we had a really good time all together. it was just like bbq's we used to have....
well, less marines & no one went flying through the screen door. i remember the time a couple of the guys started wrestling & of course one of them got mad & then there was blood & then there was little ole me yelling at a couple of marines to "get the f-out of my house!"
thankfully, it was not like that....
neighbors J&M, KB & the new ones came by, RB & family showed up, the hs gang & a few others also made it. M brought a bouncy house which was fabulous for the kiddos. we had tons of food & everyone brought tons more, it was food extraordinaire [my kinda party for sure!]. M also brought a extra-yummy margarita recipe; not to mention jalapeno carrots & salsa fresca. S made cheesy potatoes which everyone loved & her aunt sent up some hot sauce & capirotada [mexican bread pudding]. so much was going on i don't know who brought what, someone brought chocolate chip cookies & 3 kinds of cheesecake appeared on the table.
for a moment we were in a panic thinking ES was gonna flake, but he made it, surprised us all. even S&J made it. i think we need to do it again soon!
a celebration for THE40, for March birthdays - B, M, ES & wife (although she's not 40) & L.
actually a few days prior to the party i decided to be good with turning 40. i mean i had the dreams, but i realized the alternative to turning 40 is being dead, so hey, this is awesome! like totally!
we had a backyard bbq & people came throughout the afternoon & some stayed late & we had a really good time all together. it was just like bbq's we used to have....
well, less marines & no one went flying through the screen door. i remember the time a couple of the guys started wrestling & of course one of them got mad & then there was blood & then there was little ole me yelling at a couple of marines to "get the f-out of my house!"
thankfully, it was not like that....
neighbors J&M, KB & the new ones came by, RB & family showed up, the hs gang & a few others also made it. M brought a bouncy house which was fabulous for the kiddos. we had tons of food & everyone brought tons more, it was food extraordinaire [my kinda party for sure!]. M also brought a extra-yummy margarita recipe; not to mention jalapeno carrots & salsa fresca. S made cheesy potatoes which everyone loved & her aunt sent up some hot sauce & capirotada [mexican bread pudding]. so much was going on i don't know who brought what, someone brought chocolate chip cookies & 3 kinds of cheesecake appeared on the table.
for a moment we were in a panic thinking ES was gonna flake, but he made it, surprised us all. even S&J made it. i think we need to do it again soon!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
dreaming
i haven't written any dream posts in some time...
last night, i don't remember any of the circumstances however the point of the dream was - a job will come when the time is right.
although i love staying home it's really is getting to me. the job market does seem to be opening up so i'm sending out more applications/resumes, but still minimal results. remember the interview? the following week i sent a followup email to the HR person & she said no decisions had been made but shortly thereafter i found the position listed again.
i went on another interview last week. the job description was mis-leading though, so during the HR interview everything i said i wanted was not what the job entailed. the interview with the hiring managers seemed ok, one hardly said anything besides "do you have any questions for us?" REPEATEDLY & the other one seemed uncomfortable speaking. anyways, it's a large company but working in a SMALL office & doing really basic office stuff so i hope they don't call me back unless it's for something else. i know that sounds bad coming from someone who's jonesing for a job, but i don't want to work somewhere that's going to drive me bonkers in 3 months.
oh wait, we were talking about dreams, darn tangents.....
last week i had 2 strange dreams, in the first one we (B & I) had a teenage daughter, she was pretty much Z with long hair & just as much attitude...possibly more. strike that, it was a nightmare not a dream.
the next day or so i dreamt that i woke up with grey/white hair. there were a few strands of brown in there, but i had to LOOK for them. it was ghastly! [yes, i do have dreams where i wake up, it's not unusual at all for me.]
then there's the crazy dream that actually occurred a few months ago but really stuck in my head [bc yes, it was that weird!] we had a dog, not sure if it was lady or not, but she was having puppies. the first one came out & we were holding it, looking at it, etc & not really paying attn to momma dog but kinda noticed that she was really working at birthing pup #2. some time passes before pup #2 arrives, only it's not a pup, it's a baby.
as in a human baby.
it was encased in some sort of embryonic sack that was very tight. i assumed, bc well, um, it was human & it's momma was a dog among other reasons, that it was stillborn, then i think i made a noise or something happened bc the baby opened it's eyes & looked directly at me. now, that sounds a little horror-movie-like, but in my dream i wanted that baby & there was no evilness.
i knew i had to open the sack so the baby could get oxygen. i grabbed at the film but there was no slack. i was pinching the baby's face through it trying to get a hold of some to rip it apart, then finally i was able get a little bit right between the eyes. i don't know if it was a boy or a girl, but i saved it.
last night, i don't remember any of the circumstances however the point of the dream was - a job will come when the time is right.
although i love staying home it's really is getting to me. the job market does seem to be opening up so i'm sending out more applications/resumes, but still minimal results. remember the interview? the following week i sent a followup email to the HR person & she said no decisions had been made but shortly thereafter i found the position listed again.
i went on another interview last week. the job description was mis-leading though, so during the HR interview everything i said i wanted was not what the job entailed. the interview with the hiring managers seemed ok, one hardly said anything besides "do you have any questions for us?" REPEATEDLY & the other one seemed uncomfortable speaking. anyways, it's a large company but working in a SMALL office & doing really basic office stuff so i hope they don't call me back unless it's for something else. i know that sounds bad coming from someone who's jonesing for a job, but i don't want to work somewhere that's going to drive me bonkers in 3 months.
oh wait, we were talking about dreams, darn tangents.....
last week i had 2 strange dreams, in the first one we (B & I) had a teenage daughter, she was pretty much Z with long hair & just as much attitude...possibly more. strike that, it was a nightmare not a dream.
the next day or so i dreamt that i woke up with grey/white hair. there were a few strands of brown in there, but i had to LOOK for them. it was ghastly! [yes, i do have dreams where i wake up, it's not unusual at all for me.]
then there's the crazy dream that actually occurred a few months ago but really stuck in my head [bc yes, it was that weird!] we had a dog, not sure if it was lady or not, but she was having puppies. the first one came out & we were holding it, looking at it, etc & not really paying attn to momma dog but kinda noticed that she was really working at birthing pup #2. some time passes before pup #2 arrives, only it's not a pup, it's a baby.
as in a human baby.
it was encased in some sort of embryonic sack that was very tight. i assumed, bc well, um, it was human & it's momma was a dog among other reasons, that it was stillborn, then i think i made a noise or something happened bc the baby opened it's eyes & looked directly at me. now, that sounds a little horror-movie-like, but in my dream i wanted that baby & there was no evilness.
i knew i had to open the sack so the baby could get oxygen. i grabbed at the film but there was no slack. i was pinching the baby's face through it trying to get a hold of some to rip it apart, then finally i was able get a little bit right between the eyes. i don't know if it was a boy or a girl, but i saved it.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
nana's 90
i started this before but it froze up, then i forgot about it & here i am days later a lil lost....
tues was nana's 90th birthday. crazy huh? i can only hope to live, be as functional & coherent at that age. i won't even talk about the memory as at times i think her's is better than mine!
anyways, mom & i got there about 12:30 & both uncles were already there along with my aunt out in the garden. it was a warm afternoon but there wasn't enough space for all of us in nana's room now that she has a roommie. we spent a surprising nice afternoon all together; it was reminiscent of being in nana's backyard. well, you know, without blaring mexican music, tons of beer & food burning on the grill....& nobody was yelling at each other or crying....so maybe not.
we had cake & wished nana a happy birthday but she forgot to blow out the candles, so i had to help her out, it was pretty funny....i wonder if my aunt got the pic with the flames being blown off to the left?
now that everyone had a chance to see the room, everyone agreed it was not a good fit for nana. we already know wherever she goes she will have to share a room, but this wasn't good for her. her new spot was quite different from the rehab hall, not only the room, but she said the staff/care she received was inferior. oh & her biggest deal was the bathroom, not only did she have to share with roomie, but it's a jack-n-jill bathroom, so shared by 4 PEOPLE! yeah, not good for someone who's lived alone for 40+years ok!
as my mom said "she may have not had the cleanest toilet on the block, but it was her's".
my hesitation was with nana though, i'd spoken to her previously about moving & she said she liked it there. she'd even told cousin ME that i was trying to move her from there, like it was a secret plan or something! i was having dreams that nana was telling me to leave her alone, so even as the family was telling me to look, i felt i was taking away nana's last bit of control.
so when we left, we asked ME to speak with nana & really get a feel for the situation, move or no move. ME said move & she would take the heat.
tues was nana's 90th birthday. crazy huh? i can only hope to live, be as functional & coherent at that age. i won't even talk about the memory as at times i think her's is better than mine!
anyways, mom & i got there about 12:30 & both uncles were already there along with my aunt out in the garden. it was a warm afternoon but there wasn't enough space for all of us in nana's room now that she has a roommie. we spent a surprising nice afternoon all together; it was reminiscent of being in nana's backyard. well, you know, without blaring mexican music, tons of beer & food burning on the grill....& nobody was yelling at each other or crying....so maybe not.
we had cake & wished nana a happy birthday but she forgot to blow out the candles, so i had to help her out, it was pretty funny....i wonder if my aunt got the pic with the flames being blown off to the left?
now that everyone had a chance to see the room, everyone agreed it was not a good fit for nana. we already know wherever she goes she will have to share a room, but this wasn't good for her. her new spot was quite different from the rehab hall, not only the room, but she said the staff/care she received was inferior. oh & her biggest deal was the bathroom, not only did she have to share with roomie, but it's a jack-n-jill bathroom, so shared by 4 PEOPLE! yeah, not good for someone who's lived alone for 40+years ok!
as my mom said "she may have not had the cleanest toilet on the block, but it was her's".
my hesitation was with nana though, i'd spoken to her previously about moving & she said she liked it there. she'd even told cousin ME that i was trying to move her from there, like it was a secret plan or something! i was having dreams that nana was telling me to leave her alone, so even as the family was telling me to look, i felt i was taking away nana's last bit of control.
so when we left, we asked ME to speak with nana & really get a feel for the situation, move or no move. ME said move & she would take the heat.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
spider in my face
GAH how i wish i was joking....
i don't think i've talked about this before, but i'm pretty girlie when it comes to spiders, um, bugs, uh, creepy crawly type things...yeah ALL OF THEM!!! that's why i don't camp...
but growing up in a testosterone free house i didn't think much about killing a bug or spider, it's what you do. it wasn't until i was in my early 20s & i was visiting a friend in her new apt & there was a spider & she flung a magazine at it & i sat back & wondered what the heck she was thinking. i mean that's not how you go about killing something. she told me her dad always done the killing, so although she was a few years older than me she was helpless.
in our house, Z calls me when he finds a bug or spider. B will usually just leave it, he knows it drives me crazy. i don't mess around, a shoe or something hard, preferably not my hand, but sometimes i don't have time. [yeah i KNOW how disgusting that is & i totally remember being a kid & nana smushing roaches with her hand & wondering how in the world she could do that!!! but honestly time is of essence & you CAN wash your hand or would you prefer the bug to continue existing in your home?]
anyways, self proclaimed bug fanatic, the other day i woke up with a couple of bites on my legs. B thought I'd gotten bitten working in the yard, but i said no, i was pretty sure something got me in bed. so i washed the sheets & blanket, vaccuumed around & under the bed & even sprayed the room some.
that was a few days ago.
last night just after 2am i was dreaming i was in this large building searching throughout various hallways for some large charting analysis papers, large 2X3s like maps, by someone named Mitzsomethingjapanese & the files began under series 1100something [can someone please tell me WHY i can remember stupid details to dreams but reality is all soft & fuzzy?]
when
WHEN
i felt something on my forehead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i reached up with my left hand, grabbed, smushed & threw all in one motion.
then i laid there for a few minutes trying to figure out if the shit crawling on my forehead was real or not.
GAH!!!
i was pretty sure it was so i got up & turned on the bathroom light & looked around the floor. although it took a bit i found the dark spot in the carpet & grabbed a tissue & got it.
it's f-ing huge!
hairy!
& it was on my face!
i sat there & stared at it while it moved about a bit, dying, as i'd ripped out 3 of it's legs. once i felt comfortable that it was dead enough i grabbed a small glass from the kitchen & put it over it & i stared at it for sometime. i couldn't stand it so then i went & looked it up, exactly what i needed, to look at spider pictures.
i think it's a grass spider which is harmless, but i prefer him dead.
than alive.
on my face.
in my bed.
B made fun of me bc i have him under glass but i told him the glass isn't for the spider, it's for me, for my own peace of mind. i slept with the light on last night & today i vacuumed again, but i found a web between the wall & mattress by my pillow that wasn't there a few days ago.
so my nightly routine will now include a mattress inspection with a chancla [that'd be flip flop to non-spanish speaking folk] in hand.
oh & needless to say i've been jumpy all day long...in the middle of the day Z & i were in the backyard & something big came flying at me, i didn't even see it, i just heard it's engine & i totally screamed out! B asked if i was ok & i told him a helicopter bug was after me. then in the evening when Z & i went for a walk i heard something in the bushes & a bunny popped out. A BUNNY! & i screamed like it was a rabid animal coming to eat me!
i don't think i've talked about this before, but i'm pretty girlie when it comes to spiders, um, bugs, uh, creepy crawly type things...yeah ALL OF THEM!!! that's why i don't camp...
but growing up in a testosterone free house i didn't think much about killing a bug or spider, it's what you do. it wasn't until i was in my early 20s & i was visiting a friend in her new apt & there was a spider & she flung a magazine at it & i sat back & wondered what the heck she was thinking. i mean that's not how you go about killing something. she told me her dad always done the killing, so although she was a few years older than me she was helpless.
in our house, Z calls me when he finds a bug or spider. B will usually just leave it, he knows it drives me crazy. i don't mess around, a shoe or something hard, preferably not my hand, but sometimes i don't have time. [yeah i KNOW how disgusting that is & i totally remember being a kid & nana smushing roaches with her hand & wondering how in the world she could do that!!! but honestly time is of essence & you CAN wash your hand or would you prefer the bug to continue existing in your home?]
anyways, self proclaimed bug fanatic, the other day i woke up with a couple of bites on my legs. B thought I'd gotten bitten working in the yard, but i said no, i was pretty sure something got me in bed. so i washed the sheets & blanket, vaccuumed around & under the bed & even sprayed the room some.
that was a few days ago.
last night just after 2am i was dreaming i was in this large building searching throughout various hallways for some large charting analysis papers, large 2X3s like maps, by someone named Mitzsomethingjapanese & the files began under series 1100something [can someone please tell me WHY i can remember stupid details to dreams but reality is all soft & fuzzy?]
when
WHEN
i felt something on my forehead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i reached up with my left hand, grabbed, smushed & threw all in one motion.
then i laid there for a few minutes trying to figure out if the shit crawling on my forehead was real or not.
GAH!!!
i was pretty sure it was so i got up & turned on the bathroom light & looked around the floor. although it took a bit i found the dark spot in the carpet & grabbed a tissue & got it.
it's f-ing huge!
hairy!
& it was on my face!
i sat there & stared at it while it moved about a bit, dying, as i'd ripped out 3 of it's legs. once i felt comfortable that it was dead enough i grabbed a small glass from the kitchen & put it over it & i stared at it for sometime. i couldn't stand it so then i went & looked it up, exactly what i needed, to look at spider pictures.
i think it's a grass spider which is harmless, but i prefer him dead.
than alive.
on my face.
in my bed.
B made fun of me bc i have him under glass but i told him the glass isn't for the spider, it's for me, for my own peace of mind. i slept with the light on last night & today i vacuumed again, but i found a web between the wall & mattress by my pillow that wasn't there a few days ago.
so my nightly routine will now include a mattress inspection with a chancla [that'd be flip flop to non-spanish speaking folk] in hand.
oh & needless to say i've been jumpy all day long...in the middle of the day Z & i were in the backyard & something big came flying at me, i didn't even see it, i just heard it's engine & i totally screamed out! B asked if i was ok & i told him a helicopter bug was after me. then in the evening when Z & i went for a walk i heard something in the bushes & a bunny popped out. A BUNNY! & i screamed like it was a rabid animal coming to eat me!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
the 4th of july
while most people spend their 4th of july going to the beach, we went to the desert...rebels, i know! i guess all those dreams i've been having were somewhat right, minus the trailer parts.
we needed to go check on ghetto house, one of B's old co-worker's was having a BBQ, RW was back from Taiwan & the predicted high was only 102 - practically a written invitation from mother nature. so we went.
i wanted to leave early, but i should know better by now & we didn't get out of here until around 2pm. we showed up just in time for the BBQ (same one from last year) & surprised everyone. well, RW had a feeling we would be there & a quite a few other people from B's old office were there. it was nice to see the gang a year later.
it didn't get dark enough for the fireworks show until almost 9pm so the kids lite fireworks in the backyard bc they just couldn't wait any longer. the show was nice, we parked out in a dirt lot & listened to mexican music. no, it wasn't our music, but someone close to us had it on....
D kept on commenting how she couldn't believe we were listening to that instead of the national anthem or something. i told her it reminded me of being a kid, i just needed some drunk family members around, some shouting & burnt BBQ...& lots of beer cans of course....ah, childhood memories...
i'm glad Z's won't be like that.
after the show we visited another group of friends & then we went over to RW's house to hang out in the backyard. before we knew it all the kiddos past out except Z, he was wide awake loving it. he stayed up the entire time watching cartoons - after 2AM.
when we figured out he wasn't going to go to sleep & how late it was, we all decided to hit the hay. we stayed on base again, but a new spot (beings we're retired we were not welcome at the nice place).
the next morning we stopped by ghetto house. renter wasn't home, so we just checked out the yard, wasn't bad. we know he keeps the house cleaner than i do, so that's not a concern. (hey, at least i can admit it, i have 2 filthy boys...)
we needed to go check on ghetto house, one of B's old co-worker's was having a BBQ, RW was back from Taiwan & the predicted high was only 102 - practically a written invitation from mother nature. so we went.
i wanted to leave early, but i should know better by now & we didn't get out of here until around 2pm. we showed up just in time for the BBQ (same one from last year) & surprised everyone. well, RW had a feeling we would be there & a quite a few other people from B's old office were there. it was nice to see the gang a year later.
it didn't get dark enough for the fireworks show until almost 9pm so the kids lite fireworks in the backyard bc they just couldn't wait any longer. the show was nice, we parked out in a dirt lot & listened to mexican music. no, it wasn't our music, but someone close to us had it on....
D kept on commenting how she couldn't believe we were listening to that instead of the national anthem or something. i told her it reminded me of being a kid, i just needed some drunk family members around, some shouting & burnt BBQ...& lots of beer cans of course....ah, childhood memories...
i'm glad Z's won't be like that.
after the show we visited another group of friends & then we went over to RW's house to hang out in the backyard. before we knew it all the kiddos past out except Z, he was wide awake loving it. he stayed up the entire time watching cartoons - after 2AM.
when we figured out he wasn't going to go to sleep & how late it was, we all decided to hit the hay. we stayed on base again, but a new spot (beings we're retired we were not welcome at the nice place).
the next morning we stopped by ghetto house. renter wasn't home, so we just checked out the yard, wasn't bad. we know he keeps the house cleaner than i do, so that's not a concern. (hey, at least i can admit it, i have 2 filthy boys...)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
dreaming
geez, i've had some of the craziest dreams lately!
in one dream we were moving. i can't remember if it was to or from the desert, but heat was involved. we were in-between houses & packing our bags to go from one to the other. we weren't sure if we would stay the night or not, so we were gathering munchies & clothes & then there was my mom's dogs. for some reason i had 2 dogs & wasn't sure what to do with them; they puke in the car, but i didn't want to leave them alone overnight.
************************************************
another night i had 3 separate dreams where i was in a trailer, in the desert, in the summer. in one of them the trailer (my home) was parked right along the side of a busy road, like the 395 & someone told me i should move it back at bit. they then proceeded to just pick it up & move it like 50ft from the road.
in another one i was with one of my grandma's, there to take care of her. in my dream i woke up in the middle of the night bc although we were in a ghetto trailer, it had a sliding glass door in the bedroom & i didn't feel safe that we had left it open & i was mad at myself for not closing it & leaving windows open instead. i knew people had been scoping out the place & it wasn't safe so i didn't know why i had done that. then to top it off, i let Z stay in a separate trailer by himself & i was freaking out about him being alone.
the last one (although technically i don't remember the order) the trailer was somewhat bigger & i had met up with blogging friends. [ok, the term 'friends' is used quite loosely bc nobody knows me] but ANYWAYS, yeah, i met up with my imaginary blogging friends. it was fun to re-tell some of the stories we'd posted & details we'd left out. then i remember suggesting bc we were out in the middle of nowhere that we get dressed up & go to vegas.
***************************************************
then were was the mexico dream. i was with a group of friends (none of which i actually know) & it was some holiday or something & we decided to go down to mexico. just after passing the border we heard lots of cheering & such so we stopped to see what was going on, etc & then i hear someone calling my name.
in mexico
sans accent
an abbreviation of my name, so it had to be someone pretty comfortable with me.
i look over & see Uncle B & nana partying it up! my friends & i joined them & we had a good time. my Uncle even picked up the bill [solid proof that it was a dream].
***************************************************
another one in the desert - i dreamt we moved from ghetto house, but not back home, we just moved a few blocks away.
i think i'm scarred from last year's move, it's just weird how the timing is exactly one year.
in one dream we were moving. i can't remember if it was to or from the desert, but heat was involved. we were in-between houses & packing our bags to go from one to the other. we weren't sure if we would stay the night or not, so we were gathering munchies & clothes & then there was my mom's dogs. for some reason i had 2 dogs & wasn't sure what to do with them; they puke in the car, but i didn't want to leave them alone overnight.
************************************************
another night i had 3 separate dreams where i was in a trailer, in the desert, in the summer. in one of them the trailer (my home) was parked right along the side of a busy road, like the 395 & someone told me i should move it back at bit. they then proceeded to just pick it up & move it like 50ft from the road.
in another one i was with one of my grandma's, there to take care of her. in my dream i woke up in the middle of the night bc although we were in a ghetto trailer, it had a sliding glass door in the bedroom & i didn't feel safe that we had left it open & i was mad at myself for not closing it & leaving windows open instead. i knew people had been scoping out the place & it wasn't safe so i didn't know why i had done that. then to top it off, i let Z stay in a separate trailer by himself & i was freaking out about him being alone.
the last one (although technically i don't remember the order) the trailer was somewhat bigger & i had met up with blogging friends. [ok, the term 'friends' is used quite loosely bc nobody knows me] but ANYWAYS, yeah, i met up with my imaginary blogging friends. it was fun to re-tell some of the stories we'd posted & details we'd left out. then i remember suggesting bc we were out in the middle of nowhere that we get dressed up & go to vegas.
***************************************************
then were was the mexico dream. i was with a group of friends (none of which i actually know) & it was some holiday or something & we decided to go down to mexico. just after passing the border we heard lots of cheering & such so we stopped to see what was going on, etc & then i hear someone calling my name.
in mexico
sans accent
an abbreviation of my name, so it had to be someone pretty comfortable with me.
i look over & see Uncle B & nana partying it up! my friends & i joined them & we had a good time. my Uncle even picked up the bill [solid proof that it was a dream].
***************************************************
another one in the desert - i dreamt we moved from ghetto house, but not back home, we just moved a few blocks away.
i think i'm scarred from last year's move, it's just weird how the timing is exactly one year.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
work stuff
[yeah, i know i'm unemployed & i'm writing about work...whatever]
i still talk with a few people from my old job, the woman they hired to replace me...well, 6 months later girlfriend still doesn't know word or excel.
my old officemate got tired of helping her over & over & i finally let have it & made her cry. which had to be quite a role reversal for officemate, as she was the emotional one & not that she needed help, but she was used to lots of free time [ie, not being the output lead].
even better, i found out old boss from previous job had to hire another person to run the office; not as in a 2nd replacement as in 2 people to the job. i bet he still thinks he overpaid me...
so i had a dream, before i found out about the 2nd replacement, that 1st replacement quit & i had to go back to work for old boss. i don't remember the details...i just remember being there & telling old boss that i didn't want to be there, that's why i quit before, that i was miserable there.
his response was "well she left & you know the job so i don't have to train anyone new so you have to stay".
GEEZ, i was HAPPY when i woke up!
i still talk with a few people from my old job, the woman they hired to replace me...well, 6 months later girlfriend still doesn't know word or excel.
my old officemate got tired of helping her over & over & i finally let have it & made her cry. which had to be quite a role reversal for officemate, as she was the emotional one & not that she needed help, but she was used to lots of free time [ie, not being the output lead].
even better, i found out old boss from previous job had to hire another person to run the office; not as in a 2nd replacement as in 2 people to the job. i bet he still thinks he overpaid me...
so i had a dream, before i found out about the 2nd replacement, that 1st replacement quit & i had to go back to work for old boss. i don't remember the details...i just remember being there & telling old boss that i didn't want to be there, that's why i quit before, that i was miserable there.
his response was "well she left & you know the job so i don't have to train anyone new so you have to stay".
GEEZ, i was HAPPY when i woke up!
Monday, November 30, 2009
maybe in a few days, or a few weeks, click
B's family stayed a couple of days & didn't leave until about noon on saturday. it was a beautiful morning, dark, grey, raining & even 2 rounds of hail - sweet!
when my mom left on thursday we hadn't cut into the pies, so i told her i would bring her some on sunday, sat night i called her to check in. she didn't answer & i figured she was either sleeping or out walking the dogs & didn't really think too much of it.
the next morning we all slept in late, company can be exhausting...
i called my mom again, but didn't answer so i left a message. Z & I spent the morning working on his school project & i told him once he was done we'd go to grammie's, actually i'd been telling him we were going since thursday. when he was just about finished i called my mom & finally she answered & told me:
"i can't talk to you right now, maybe in a few days, maybe in a few weeks" then she hung up on me.
happy thankgiving, merry christmas, it's the most wonderful time of the year...
my family is completely fucked up beyond all belief
how do you tell someone that without even explaining to them what you think they did wrong?
was she mad because dinner was late?
how do you rush a cooking turkey?
does she think this was a conspiracy to make her drive in the dark?
maybe we made her stay too late? [5:15 pm is really late right?]
did she have an anxiety attack because she was more than 5 miles from home?
maybe she got in a car accident & she's blaming me...I DON"T KNOW
so yeah, i cried most of the day over this yesterday. i'm hurt. i'm mad. i don't deserve this. i knew something was up with her before she came over for thanksgiving, i had hoped getting together would smoothwhatever was wrong in her head things over, but instead they blew up.
i took something to help me sleep last night, so i dreamt of vampires [not hot edward-like ones] & robots trying to kill me, then another one where all my hs friends stopped talking to me, but at least i didn't dream about my mother [which would have been even worse].
when my mom left on thursday we hadn't cut into the pies, so i told her i would bring her some on sunday, sat night i called her to check in. she didn't answer & i figured she was either sleeping or out walking the dogs & didn't really think too much of it.
the next morning we all slept in late, company can be exhausting...
i called my mom again, but didn't answer so i left a message. Z & I spent the morning working on his school project & i told him once he was done we'd go to grammie's, actually i'd been telling him we were going since thursday. when he was just about finished i called my mom & finally she answered & told me:
"i can't talk to you right now, maybe in a few days, maybe in a few weeks" then she hung up on me.
happy thankgiving, merry christmas, it's the most wonderful time of the year...
my family is completely fucked up beyond all belief
how do you tell someone that without even explaining to them what you think they did wrong?
was she mad because dinner was late?
how do you rush a cooking turkey?
does she think this was a conspiracy to make her drive in the dark?
maybe we made her stay too late? [5:15 pm is really late right?]
did she have an anxiety attack because she was more than 5 miles from home?
maybe she got in a car accident & she's blaming me...I DON"T KNOW
so yeah, i cried most of the day over this yesterday. i'm hurt. i'm mad. i don't deserve this. i knew something was up with her before she came over for thanksgiving, i had hoped getting together would smooth
i took something to help me sleep last night, so i dreamt of vampires [not hot edward-like ones] & robots trying to kill me, then another one where all my hs friends stopped talking to me, but at least i didn't dream about my mother [which would have been even worse].
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
the bikini dream
shortly after going outside to warm on monday, i realized that i was sick. like really, really sick so i went home. i drove home in 95 degree temp without turning on the a/c & the warmth felt good.
for the entire drive home.
sometimes that heat initially feels good, but normally after about 30 seconds your brain kicks in that it's starting to cook.
mine didn't. mmmmm, wwwwaaarrrrmmmm
i went home & slept 15 hours. i got up to use the bathroom a few times & at some point B brought me a gatorade that i drank in sips throughout the night.
i got up for about 2 hours the next morning, did a few things, then took a nap. in the afternoon B & I watched Hancock again, then nap #2. i was awake when Z came home & made sure he was fed & washed then it was time for me to go to bed. yeah, i know, after all that how could i sleep more? not sure, but i managed & here's the dream i had:
B & I are going somewhere, we get dressed in our bathing suits & are in a group of people. then for some reason i look at myself (mirror or reflection, i'm not sure) & see that i'm wearing a thong bathing suit. [i would NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER wear a thong bathing suit, i don't even like thong underwear] but that's not even the worst part.
sit & swallow - that's for you. you need to sit down & if you have something in your mouth you better swallow it, otherwise you may damage your monitor.
so not only am i wearing a thong bathing suit, not only am i out in a public place in a thong bathing suit, my butt is COVERED in hair. now when i say covered in hair, i don't mean a little peach fuzz or even A LOT of peach fuzz, i'm talking RUG to the degree austin powers would envy. it wasn't very long, but it was very thick. & i was dying of embarrassment.
for the entire drive home.
sometimes that heat initially feels good, but normally after about 30 seconds your brain kicks in that it's starting to cook.
mine didn't. mmmmm, wwwwaaarrrrmmmm
i went home & slept 15 hours. i got up to use the bathroom a few times & at some point B brought me a gatorade that i drank in sips throughout the night.
i got up for about 2 hours the next morning, did a few things, then took a nap. in the afternoon B & I watched Hancock again, then nap #2. i was awake when Z came home & made sure he was fed & washed then it was time for me to go to bed. yeah, i know, after all that how could i sleep more? not sure, but i managed & here's the dream i had:
B & I are going somewhere, we get dressed in our bathing suits & are in a group of people. then for some reason i look at myself (mirror or reflection, i'm not sure) & see that i'm wearing a thong bathing suit. [i would NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER wear a thong bathing suit, i don't even like thong underwear] but that's not even the worst part.
sit & swallow - that's for you. you need to sit down & if you have something in your mouth you better swallow it, otherwise you may damage your monitor.
so not only am i wearing a thong bathing suit, not only am i out in a public place in a thong bathing suit, my butt is COVERED in hair. now when i say covered in hair, i don't mean a little peach fuzz or even A LOT of peach fuzz, i'm talking RUG to the degree austin powers would envy. it wasn't very long, but it was very thick. & i was dying of embarrassment.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
the vieja (old lady)
i read an article the other day about bad bosses & although old boss was a ringer, no one will come close to 'the vieja'. [see how that ties into cinco de mayo? i've been saving this story. that's a lie, i'm not that good.]
alright, so we have to go way, way back, i was a mere 20 years old when i started working at the dirt place. it was my first real job; i had worked at a record shop, a dept store & for a 1 person tax prep office, but this was real grown up stuff.
i still remember in the interview her telling me "it was a family environment".
[i was too naive to realize she meant f-ing dysfunctional beyond belief.]
she was the OFFICIAL WORD PROCESSOR for the office. i was hired as an admin. assist & she showed me the ropes. officially she wasn't my boss, but she made my life hell for many years. the office manager was kinda spineless; he was the "just let things work themselves out" type of guy & did his best to ignore ourfights altercations. i can't even guess at how many times she made me cry at work. we would get in the worst arguments & shouting matches. to this day i still remember the dream i had where i had her on the ground & i was choking her. serious dislike.
- when she would talk to other people, she would refer to me as "her little helper", like i was an elf in her workshop.
- i did the filing for the office & whenever she found something mis-filed instead of just putting it back in the "to be filed" spot she would write on the document "this was found in file 400235". you can go to that report to this day & see her note.
- one time i stayed 1/2 hour OT to work on something that was going to be a rush in the morning. the next day she told me i had to leave early so i wouldn't get paid the OT. however she would stay late to organize paper in the recycle box & her pay was 3x mine.
- whenever she was out of the office i had to do her OFFICIAL TYPING & when she would return, she would print out everything i touched & mark down all the mistakes i made in red pen. [how about a f-ing thank you?]
- i wasn't allowed to go out to lunch with our co-workers. she would specifically take lunch the same time they did so i would have to stay & answer the phones while she ate.
- she started a rumor that i was having an affair with a married co-worker. our corporate HQ conducted an investigation because of it. [for the record, we were just friends, he was happily married & i was not attracted to him in the slightest bit.]
alright, so we have to go way, way back, i was a mere 20 years old when i started working at the dirt place. it was my first real job; i had worked at a record shop, a dept store & for a 1 person tax prep office, but this was real grown up stuff.
i still remember in the interview her telling me "it was a family environment".
[i was too naive to realize she meant f-ing dysfunctional beyond belief.]
she was the OFFICIAL WORD PROCESSOR for the office. i was hired as an admin. assist & she showed me the ropes. officially she wasn't my boss, but she made my life hell for many years. the office manager was kinda spineless; he was the "just let things work themselves out" type of guy & did his best to ignore our
- when she would talk to other people, she would refer to me as "her little helper", like i was an elf in her workshop.
- i did the filing for the office & whenever she found something mis-filed instead of just putting it back in the "to be filed" spot she would write on the document "this was found in file 400235". you can go to that report to this day & see her note.
- one time i stayed 1/2 hour OT to work on something that was going to be a rush in the morning. the next day she told me i had to leave early so i wouldn't get paid the OT. however she would stay late to organize paper in the recycle box & her pay was 3x mine.
- whenever she was out of the office i had to do her OFFICIAL TYPING & when she would return, she would print out everything i touched & mark down all the mistakes i made in red pen. [how about a f-ing thank you?]
- i wasn't allowed to go out to lunch with our co-workers. she would specifically take lunch the same time they did so i would have to stay & answer the phones while she ate.
- she started a rumor that i was having an affair with a married co-worker. our corporate HQ conducted an investigation because of it. [for the record, we were just friends, he was happily married & i was not attracted to him in the slightest bit.]
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
zombie dream
i used to love to watch scary movies, stuff like texas chainsaw massacre (the 70s one) made me laugh but now i just can't hang. i enjoy the movie when i watch it, but at night when i'm sleeping all that stuff comes back to me. i seriously don't need any dream fodder, so i really have be picky about what i'm willing to watch knowing full well, it will come back to haunt me at some point. some of my favorites were old zombie movies, night of the living dead & return of the living dead, yeah, good stuff.
some time ago B got dawn of the dead, whatever, i can hang...or so i thought. i had seen the original version many times & no big deal, i handle silly zombie movies. wrong! this was years ago & i still have dreams about zombies coming after me.
last night it was baby zombies. they were about a year, year and half old with that cute little stumbly, lopsided walk only they were dead & trying to eat our brains! then a friend of ours was tainted & we were sure what to do with her because she was still normal, but we knew she was going to turn into one of them, but we didn't want to just throw her out there to be eaten by baby zombies. it was fricken crazy. so we put her in the garage, so she could at least complete her transition in peace & not be eaten while she was human.
some time ago B got dawn of the dead, whatever, i can hang...or so i thought. i had seen the original version many times & no big deal, i handle silly zombie movies. wrong! this was years ago & i still have dreams about zombies coming after me.
last night it was baby zombies. they were about a year, year and half old with that cute little stumbly, lopsided walk only they were dead & trying to eat our brains! then a friend of ours was tainted & we were sure what to do with her because she was still normal, but we knew she was going to turn into one of them, but we didn't want to just throw her out there to be eaten by baby zombies. it was fricken crazy. so we put her in the garage, so she could at least complete her transition in peace & not be eaten while she was human.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
productive
finally, got the tree up & decorated.
also got pic's downloaded from mexico.
yeah, i'm tired.
i woke up last night about 2 & couldn't fall asleep, when i finally did, i had crazy crack dreams. my first dream B was going to move a tree branch to catch a large (approx 6") albino praying mantis but when he touched the branch it opened it's eyes & we realized it was an owl. so we put the owl on my right wrist & before we could continue after the original target, we heard a screeching noise. we looked up & there was a huge (bigger than an elephant) flying creature off in the distance & you know if it was that big far off, it was going to be fricken huge once it was upon us.
so we were looking for cover & then the environment changed to something similar to a school with a hallway of doors & we picked the bathrooms to go into to hide from the flying beast that was coming after us. now i don't know why we did this but we made sure B went to the boys bathroom & Z went with me to the girls, because even in a state of emergency one really doesn't want to enter the wrong bathroom i guess. i mean if huge screeching flying monster is after you hopefully he won't know which one you're hiding in right? hopefully he can't read.
there isn't much of a transition here, so i thought i'd make it obivous that was the end of one & below is the beginning of the next.
after that i was in a house & i was being robbed, some guy was taking all my jewelry. which i find rather funny as most of my jewelry is from my teenager years & isn't of much value. anyway, so i get robbed & the guy leaves & i'm looking through the remnants of all my shit thinking "thank goodness i have these few little trinkets left". then the guy comes back to take more of my stuff & he's off again; only to return a 3rd time (wtf? i know! i was pretty tired of his ass too). i don't know what he came back for but by this time i finally decided to call 911 on him. why not the 1st & 2nd time? i have no clue.
also got pic's downloaded from mexico.
yeah, i'm tired.
i woke up last night about 2 & couldn't fall asleep, when i finally did, i had crazy crack dreams. my first dream B was going to move a tree branch to catch a large (approx 6") albino praying mantis but when he touched the branch it opened it's eyes & we realized it was an owl. so we put the owl on my right wrist & before we could continue after the original target, we heard a screeching noise. we looked up & there was a huge (bigger than an elephant) flying creature off in the distance & you know if it was that big far off, it was going to be fricken huge once it was upon us.
so we were looking for cover & then the environment changed to something similar to a school with a hallway of doors & we picked the bathrooms to go into to hide from the flying beast that was coming after us. now i don't know why we did this but we made sure B went to the boys bathroom & Z went with me to the girls, because even in a state of emergency one really doesn't want to enter the wrong bathroom i guess. i mean if huge screeching flying monster is after you hopefully he won't know which one you're hiding in right? hopefully he can't read.
there isn't much of a transition here, so i thought i'd make it obivous that was the end of one & below is the beginning of the next.
after that i was in a house & i was being robbed, some guy was taking all my jewelry. which i find rather funny as most of my jewelry is from my teenager years & isn't of much value. anyway, so i get robbed & the guy leaves & i'm looking through the remnants of all my shit thinking "thank goodness i have these few little trinkets left". then the guy comes back to take more of my stuff & he's off again; only to return a 3rd time (wtf? i know! i was pretty tired of his ass too). i don't know what he came back for but by this time i finally decided to call 911 on him. why not the 1st & 2nd time? i have no clue.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
not feeling so good
i wasn't feeling so good last night, my back was hurting & i had a bit of a headache. then i made the ultimate mistake of getting on the floor, laying on my back, put my hands above my shoulders flat on the ground & arching my body up off the floor.....for a millisecond.
it was supposed be longer but my back said 'hell no' because i realized i hadn't put my body in that position in years & it certainly wasn't going to cooperate out of the blue like that. although i dropped back to the ground as quickly as i could & put my head between my knees begging my back for forgiveness, it was too late, damage was done.
after that i just laid on the sofa an aching mess; if my headache was still there, the back spasms distracted from it.
then last night i dreamt about the vieja, the hag i used to work with at the soils company. i haven't posted about her yet, but she's a nightmare (although oh so real) from my past. i haven't seen her since, wow, shortly after i announced i was pregnant & she went berserk (i shit you not) & Z's 6 now. i promise to write about her later though, some very entertaining stories. i don't remember anything about the dream other than her presence. i'm thinking she kicked my ass though, that's how i feel at least....
oh how i hurt & my head is foggy.
although i'm not a huge Paul Newman fan, i feel it's worthy to note about his passing. he was a gifted man. i've added to my blog title "if i had a plan i would be screwed", it is said this is a sign that hung in one of his offices. i like it, so i'm stealing it.
it was supposed be longer but my back said 'hell no' because i realized i hadn't put my body in that position in years & it certainly wasn't going to cooperate out of the blue like that. although i dropped back to the ground as quickly as i could & put my head between my knees begging my back for forgiveness, it was too late, damage was done.
after that i just laid on the sofa an aching mess; if my headache was still there, the back spasms distracted from it.
then last night i dreamt about the vieja, the hag i used to work with at the soils company. i haven't posted about her yet, but she's a nightmare (although oh so real) from my past. i haven't seen her since, wow, shortly after i announced i was pregnant & she went berserk (i shit you not) & Z's 6 now. i promise to write about her later though, some very entertaining stories. i don't remember anything about the dream other than her presence. i'm thinking she kicked my ass though, that's how i feel at least....
oh how i hurt & my head is foggy.
although i'm not a huge Paul Newman fan, i feel it's worthy to note about his passing. he was a gifted man. i've added to my blog title "if i had a plan i would be screwed", it is said this is a sign that hung in one of his offices. i like it, so i'm stealing it.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
house dream
i had this dream last night that we went to go check on SD house & found that the renter had abandoned it. she was still paying rent, so we didn't know why no one was there or how long it had been empty. i surmized (from where i don't know) that she had left the house for her daughter to live in, taking all her furniture, but the daughter ended up leaving too.
so our "renters" were gone however a transient found the house hospitable & taken up residence, his belongings & trash were laying around. he had been entering through a side window behind the fence so none of the neighbors had seen his comings & goings to alert us. then as B & I are walking through the house trying to figure things out, the guy comes in (thru the window) & is all pissy about us being in HIS space!
a chase ensued but after that the dream gets fuzzy...
so our "renters" were gone however a transient found the house hospitable & taken up residence, his belongings & trash were laying around. he had been entering through a side window behind the fence so none of the neighbors had seen his comings & goings to alert us. then as B & I are walking through the house trying to figure things out, the guy comes in (thru the window) & is all pissy about us being in HIS space!
a chase ensued but after that the dream gets fuzzy...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
so that wasn't a dizzy spell, it was an earthquake...
dinner last night ended up being a piece of cake. the other night we bbq'd & i made a chocolate cake, threw in a little mayo & chocolate chips for good measure. the cake came out light in color & quiet dense (not as in stupid), next time need to go heavier on the chips though. anyways, i can't have chocolate too late at night so yesterday when i got home i wanted a little snack (you know i'm joking about little right?) so it ended up being a rather large piece of cake, then i covered it in cherries & cool whip - hey, if you're gonna do it, do it right - am i wrong?
about 7:30ish when i realized i should have something for dinner i had a headache & when i attempted to get some food my body said "no way". so i waited to see if hunger would manifest but it didn't so i went to bed w/the full intention of getting up at some point to eat. i slept well. i don't think i woke up at all throughout the night. had a good dream...which i can't even begin to devulge...i blush at just the memory of it...
where am i? what was i talking about? oh, geez, that whole dream thing got me off track!
i didn't wake up hungry this morning, but i did bring some coffee & an english muffin. then shortly after about 11:30 i feel a little tipsy. i promise there was no alcohol in the coffee. then i'm thinking maybe my blood sugar is getting a little low. then co-worker says "feel that earthquake?" & we were moving, rolling for a few minutes.
about 7:30ish when i realized i should have something for dinner i had a headache & when i attempted to get some food my body said "no way". so i waited to see if hunger would manifest but it didn't so i went to bed w/the full intention of getting up at some point to eat. i slept well. i don't think i woke up at all throughout the night. had a good dream...which i can't even begin to devulge...i blush at just the memory of it...
where am i? what was i talking about? oh, geez, that whole dream thing got me off track!
i didn't wake up hungry this morning, but i did bring some coffee & an english muffin. then shortly after about 11:30 i feel a little tipsy. i promise there was no alcohol in the coffee. then i'm thinking maybe my blood sugar is getting a little low. then co-worker says "feel that earthquake?" & we were moving, rolling for a few minutes.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
37 today
so this is it, i'm at the latter half of the 30s now. i'm really at the latter half, not just a little like 36. i didn't think it would be a big deal. Z is really into the whole birthday thing, so i certainly can't say this snuck up on me. last week when i was thinking about 37, i thought i was ok but that night i had a dream that my hair was just about completely grey & that wasn't nice.
yesterday we took B to the dr for a check up & found out he's infected...lucky huh? so he's on a new round of antibotics.
the little one is croupy, started yesterday. i doped him up when when got home from the dr, but he's still rough this morning.
i'm bound to have a great birthday with my 2 sickies!
update: went home for lunch, B still not doing well. i left a vm at dr's office to ask how long it should be before new meds should have an affect.
yesterday we took B to the dr for a check up & found out he's infected...lucky huh? so he's on a new round of antibotics.
the little one is croupy, started yesterday. i doped him up when when got home from the dr, but he's still rough this morning.
i'm bound to have a great birthday with my 2 sickies!
update: went home for lunch, B still not doing well. i left a vm at dr's office to ask how long it should be before new meds should have an affect.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Z observations
i don't remember the day or the meal, but we were in the middle of eating & Z tells us he's dreaming. he's fully awake, eating, talking, yet he says he's dreaming...that he's a cheetah.
no lsd
really!
we figured out why there's a constant stream of noise from Z. on the drive home, B told Z to do some toe excerises, count 1-2-3, stretch out that little toe. so he did that a few times, then B was tired of the counting so he told Z to count to himself. Z said he couldn't & there you have it - he has no internal dialogue, everything is spoken!
no lsd
really!
we figured out why there's a constant stream of noise from Z. on the drive home, B told Z to do some toe excerises, count 1-2-3, stretch out that little toe. so he did that a few times, then B was tired of the counting so he told Z to count to himself. Z said he couldn't & there you have it - he has no internal dialogue, everything is spoken!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
e-mail dream
last night i had a dream that i went into boss's office for something & i saw in his e-mail inbox that he was getting copies of EVERY SINGLE e-mail i sent out!!!!
i was freaking out looking at the subjects titles of the e-mails & wondering what the heck happened because i knew i hadn't purposely cc'd him. then i realized somehow or another he had the server setup to forward him copies of my e-mails so he knew everything i said in there!!!!
the horror of him know the truth of my feelings - BAD, BAD, BAD!
thank goodness that was just a dream!
i was freaking out looking at the subjects titles of the e-mails & wondering what the heck happened because i knew i hadn't purposely cc'd him. then i realized somehow or another he had the server setup to forward him copies of my e-mails so he knew everything i said in there!!!!
the horror of him know the truth of my feelings - BAD, BAD, BAD!
thank goodness that was just a dream!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
my beer belly
alright, i'll completely admit that i'm REALLY fond of the lead singer for the strokes. i love his voice & can listen to him for hours. last night i had a dream that i asked him to autograph my belly...that's a little over the line (well, i'm not going into details, it was just a dream)...but more importantly why my belly?
even though i've always been thin, never had to struggle with my weight, i've always had a little beer belly (although beer has nothing to do with it). now that i'm a whopping 113lbs the belly is a little bigger. how much bigger? well a few weeks ago B asked (in front of family!) "what's up with your belly? you look like you're a few months pregnant" did you get that - IN FRONT OF FAMILY! tactful, huh?
so why am i dreaming about Julian signing my big ole pregnant looking but not really belly? next dream i'll have him sign my ass, that'll be better. Julian, i hope you're take notes...because i'm sure you're reading this....
even though i've always been thin, never had to struggle with my weight, i've always had a little beer belly (although beer has nothing to do with it). now that i'm a whopping 113lbs the belly is a little bigger. how much bigger? well a few weeks ago B asked (in front of family!) "what's up with your belly? you look like you're a few months pregnant" did you get that - IN FRONT OF FAMILY! tactful, huh?
so why am i dreaming about Julian signing my big ole pregnant looking but not really belly? next dream i'll have him sign my ass, that'll be better. Julian, i hope you're take notes...because i'm sure you're reading this....
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