the vieja (old lady)

i read an article the other day about bad bosses & although old boss was a ringer, no one will come close to 'the vieja'. [see how that ties into cinco de mayo? i've been saving this story. that's a lie, i'm not that good.]

alright, so we have to go way, way back, i was a mere 20 years old when i started working at the dirt place. it was my first real job; i had worked at a record shop, a dept store & for a 1 person tax prep office, but this was real grown up stuff.

i still remember in the interview her telling me "it was a family environment".
[i was too naive to realize she meant f-ing dysfunctional beyond belief.]

she was the OFFICIAL WORD PROCESSOR for the office. i was hired as an admin. assist & she showed me the ropes. officially she wasn't my boss, but she made my life hell for many years. the office manager was kinda spineless; he was the "just let things work themselves out" type of guy & did his best to ignore our fights altercations. i can't even guess at how many times she made me cry at work. we would get in the worst arguments & shouting matches. to this day i still remember the dream i had where i had her on the ground & i was choking her. serious dislike.

- when she would talk to other people, she would refer to me as "her little helper", like i was an elf in her workshop.

- i did the filing for the office & whenever she found something mis-filed instead of just putting it back in the "to be filed" spot she would write on the document "this was found in file 400235". you can go to that report to this day & see her note.

- one time i stayed 1/2 hour OT to work on something that was going to be a rush in the morning. the next day she told me i had to leave early so i wouldn't get paid the OT. however she would stay late to organize paper in the recycle box & her pay was 3x mine.

- whenever she was out of the office i had to do her OFFICIAL TYPING & when she would return, she would print out everything i touched & mark down all the mistakes i made in red pen. [how about a f-ing thank you?]

- i wasn't allowed to go out to lunch with our co-workers. she would specifically take lunch the same time they did so i would have to stay & answer the phones while she ate.

- she started a rumor that i was having an affair with a married co-worker. our corporate HQ conducted an investigation because of it. [for the record, we were just friends, he was happily married & i was not attracted to him in the slightest bit.]