Monday, November 30, 2009

maybe in a few days, or a few weeks, click

B's family stayed a couple of days & didn't leave until about noon on saturday. it was a beautiful morning, dark, grey, raining & even 2 rounds of hail - sweet!

when my mom left on thursday we hadn't cut into the pies, so i told her i would bring her some on sunday, sat night i called her to check in. she didn't answer & i figured she was either sleeping or out walking the dogs & didn't really think too much of it.

the next morning we all slept in late, company can be exhausting...
i called my mom again, but didn't answer so i left a message. Z & I spent the morning working on his school project & i told him once he was done we'd go to grammie's, actually i'd been telling him we were going since thursday. when he was just about finished i called my mom & finally she answered & told me:

"i can't talk to you right now, maybe in a few days, maybe in a few weeks" then she hung up on me.

happy thankgiving, merry christmas, it's the most wonderful time of the year...
my family is completely fucked up beyond all belief
how do you tell someone that without even explaining to them what you think they did wrong?

was she mad because dinner was late?
how do you rush a cooking turkey?
does she think this was a conspiracy to make her drive in the dark?
maybe we made her stay too late? [5:15 pm is really late right?]
did she have an anxiety attack because she was more than 5 miles from home?
maybe she got in a car accident & she's blaming me...I DON"T KNOW

so yeah, i cried most of the day over this yesterday. i'm hurt. i'm mad. i don't deserve this. i knew something was up with her before she came over for thanksgiving, i had hoped getting together would smooth whatever was wrong in her head things over, but instead they blew up.

i took something to help me sleep last night, so i dreamt of vampires [not hot edward-like ones] & robots trying to kill me, then another one where all my hs friends stopped talking to me, but at least i didn't dream about my mother [which would have been even worse].


  1. i shouldn't be commenting because i'm not talking to you (according to your dream anyway)...

    see i should have read this one too before i commented on the last one. maybe you need to just go to her house sit her down and say "out with it! what's the f-ing problem!" there has to be something up with her other than waiting on a dumb turkey.

  2. when i read your first statement, i believed it to be true...stupid dream!

    there's no use in my confronting her, it's never worked in the past she just shuts my uncle did...surprise.


tell me your thoughts...