weds trip

i was planning on going to visit nana on tues, but on mon pm i realized weds was a holiday & Z wouldn't have school, so i decided to postpone the trip a day & take him with me.

we arrived about noon, nana was doing well. the house had been cleaned up & even Z said it looked nice, but needed more work. [just love the kid's honesty] nana looked well [girl got her hair done. funny of all the things one could want after getting out of the hospital, she wanted needed to have her hair colored.] i say all that in jest, it's actually meaningful to me, that she still cares about how she looks, still fighting.

her skin color was good & she was talkative although she wasn't wearing her hearing aid which made things a little difficult. Z tried explaining his pokemon game to her [which even i don't care to understand] & showing his scary reptile book [that she said was going to cause her nightmares].

Z & I went out & walked the backyard; it seemed strange, familiar yet changed. i spent so much time in that yard. i had told Z about all her fruit trees previously, so we walked & i pointed them out. the grapefruit tree [that only i ate the fruit from] had died & been removed, the pomegranate bushes covered her clothesline, the orange, peach & fig trees.

when we walked back into the house nana was in the hallway walking to the living room. she'd told me a physical therapist had come in & started working with her, but it was still wonderful to see. my greatest fear was after being in the hospital for a few weeks & having surgery her leg muscles would deteriorate too far.

before we left she asked me again when was i going to take the sewing machine. i told her we'd brought the truck down for the reunion to get it, but she was in the hospital then, that maybe the next time B could come with me & bring the truck. Z started acting up so we didn't stay much longer. i took him to the park so he could burn off some energy before getting on the road home.

out of nowhere i got nauseous & for a minute there i thought i was going to have to go puke in a park trash can like a wino. i'd felt weird all day & i guess the stress of worrying about a confrontation with UA had taken it's toll on me.