we were at our wit's end with the boy. we'd already decided he wasn't going on the 3rd grade outing, which hurt to take away, but dang when you put that on the line, the kid shouldn't try to call your bluff.
we've punished, we've rewarded, nothing negative, nothing positive works. NOTHING...
Z was on restriction for 2 weeks, it didn't phase him one bit. B & I were miserable though. it took an outsider looking into tell us we were only punishing ourselves. so to get out of our funk & try to start over we went on the camping trip, letting the boy know if he tried to pull anything, we would pack everything up & come home.
we got there friday night & set up. although we didn't want to get there too early, setting up took longer than we anticipated & we still had to go back to town & get groceries for dinner. one would think with all the planning & premeditating we wouldn't be that far off, but we ended up having dinner while most of the kids were already in their tents supposedly sleeping.
first day up early of course, it was hard to sleep with all those nature sounds! we went for a hike around the lake, there were tons of squirrels around. the leaders made sure to tell all the boys to leave them alone, keep their distance, blah, blah, blah, then suddenly someone threw a water bottle at them. my first inclination was "thankfully that's not Z bc he's over" & as i start looking for where i think he is, he isn't, he's standing right where the bottle came from. of course.....
just can not control himself.
it's almost like he doesn't hear the "don't" part of the instruction.
anyways we told him that was it, that was his 1 chance, blown the first morning. he was good for the rest of the trip, but part of that might have to do with the simple fact of our setting. yes, compared to some of the other boys, Z was quite well behaved. it seems as though cub scouts is the central hub for add/adhd boys; many of the boys there we learned have been diagnosed & on medication.
there were workshops for the boys to earn some badges & they also retired a flag. i had never seen the ceremony before, it was moving. Z was really affected by it, something i would have never of guessed. during the ceremony one of the leaders spoke with him bc it was obvious he was not taking the situation lightly. after the ceremony i explained to him again we were honoring the flag & disposing of it the proper manner, he still was very upset though. some of the other cub scout came over & told them they cried the first time they witnessed a flag burning & the main cs leader came over & read additional info to Z to try to get him to come to terms with all of it.
B had participated in the ceremony so he wasn't aware of what was going on for some time, we don't know if his involvement played a role in Z's response, but B also tried explaining it to Z again. even walking back to our camp site he was still very upset & told me he didn't want to see that again. once he started playing he got over it & had a good time though.
the next morning we got up to misty weather, it's so much fun putting away a damp & muddy tent let me tell you. our cs camping trip was a success.