in the midst of all the nana going ons Z was not one to fade out of the limelight:
- one day i found, laying in a stack of papers near his backpack, his progress report. out of 8 behavior sections 6 either needed improvement or were unsatisfactory (even lower than N). teacher wrote that he is very distracted & often needs directions repeated. she also rated his reading & writing at 2- & +, respectfully, which is partial mastery of grade level.
- then he was kicked out of his afterschool program for choking a girl. he claims it was an accident, that they were playing bunny ears & they were running towards each & somehow he accidentally caught her neck. who knows, at this point he's lied a lot, got into so much trouble for hitting other kids, we will never know the truth.
- next i received a phone call from my bff peggy, the vp. she asked if Z had told me about their conversation, of course not. then she went on to tell me a parent had come in to complain about Z, same parent/child from the last episode. the boy feels bullied by Z. Z acted like he was going to break the boy's necklace & while they were standing in line somehow or another Z was horsing around & he ended up making the boy fall down & break his glasses.
- a few days later Z returned to the afterschool program & within 2 days he was kicked out again. this time for punching 2 girls in the stomach. he said he was playing ball with a boy, the girls came up & tried taking the ball away from them. he didn't admit to hitting them though, he said they ran into his fist, accidentally....
this was all going on while i was trying to recover from losing nana.
i called the pediatrician, picked up a form for add/adhd & gave it to Z's teacher on monday. i told her the dr's office reviewed evals on tuesday, so she had the eval ready for me the next day. when i picked up Z from school to start our trip for nana's services, i dropped off the evals at the dr's office.
i felt broken,
a failure at parenting.