my last visit

thursday morning i had jury duty, luckily it was over by lunchtime. i came home, ate & then went to see nana. i took a book & read to her, something i had never done before but it was so much harder to sit with her now. the non-responsiveness, the vacant stare, it just wasn't her anymore.

they brought in her lunch, it had been changed to puree. i tried to feed her but she would only take a couple of bites & when i tried to give her water she was no longer able to get it to come up the straw, only blowing bubbles instead. she tried & tried but her muscles wouldn't cooperate, so i put my finger over the end of the straw to hold the water in place, then put the straw in her mouth & released my finger so the water would fall into her mouth.

when i told the nurse about the bubbles i could see in his face this was notable. he went & spoke with the charge nurse, then came back & fed nana some more food. he was definitely better at it than i am. he told me his mother died in mexico, that nana meant a lot to him bc he wasn't able to be with his mom when she died.

the hospice nurse came in when i was about to leave. she looked nana over & took her vitals while i gave her a run-down of how nana had been. nana's blood pressure was good, but she said her heart was beating quickly & that could be a sign of organs shutting down. she also said nana had a slight temperature & noted her jaundice was returning.

based on nana's status, she decided to change her to the highest level of care. she said although unlikely, her condition could change & they could change her back to a lower level, but most likely nana only had a few days left.

i came home & emailed my uncle & ME about nana's change.
the next day, friday, my mom & ME visited nana.
Z told me he wanted to visit nana, i planned on taking him saturday.