we dressed & headed straight over to the cemetery; we were one of the first few people to arrive. aunt O was there already there, dressed in white, making a point that she wasn't in mourning. i was told later when someone said they were happy she was there she replied "why shouldn't i be here?"
the pastor spoke again, as did my uncles; then they passed around the little wooden box that held nana's remains. i refused to hold it, i just couldn't. when everyone had their opportunity the box was placed in the vault & after most people left i went & put my hand inside the little square space, on the box & said my final goodbye to nana.
we drove by nana's house one last time. her dog was still there but she wouldn't come to us. the sheds in back still had stuff that had been there for over 30 years. i saw the old timey high chair that was old fashioned when i was a kid. if we would have been in the truck i would have gotten it, but we were in the car, full to the brim & those sheds would be emptied soon. i did grab a bottle. a plain simple little glass bottle that would be trash to everyone else.
we'd been told my uncles had fixed up the house, things they c/wouldn't do when their mother lived there but c/would once it meant money in their pocket - painting, tiling, fumigating, etc. the house is in escrow or will be soon, it's been cleaned up & out. her things are gone & that door will never be open to us again.
we went back to the relative's house for another little visit, then came home.