Thursday, December 4, 2008

ever been f-ed by a friend?

both literally & figuratively?

when we met, there was a mutual attraction. we made attempts at a relationship, but he wasn't ready, so we stopped before we got into one.
we lost contact for probably a few years, but we had mutual friends (how we met originally).
our re-acquaintance was inevitable & after time, it was easy & we were friends again. he had a girlfriend & i had moved on. then he broke up with his gf & i was suffering from a(nother) broken heart.

we tried to just be friends, but the attraction we felt was strong. my friends would always ask "well did anything happen yet?" because even though we never did anything in front of them, the way we looked at each other our feelings couldn't be masked.

our goodbye hugs became longer & tighter at the end of the night. sometimes i would stay behind after everyone else left & we would just hold each other, not even kiss. he was my shoulder to cry on when i needed one & warm arms to hold me when i needed comforting. we would even go to his bed & fall asleep holding each other. still no kissing, we were trying to take it slow, trying to do it right.

then we finally did kiss...& clothes came flying off in record speed.
then we (he, really) stopped.

& that's how it ended.

what that boils down to: he never was my friend. he knew me too well. he knew it wouldn't casual with me. so he couldn't do it.

thank you facebook for that mutual friends list, seriously it cuts like a knife.

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