at home, i'm the mediator between B & Z. it's not an easy role, but for the mostpart, i've figured it out. HOWEVER, when we go visit my mom, the dynamics change (& it sucks). i don't like confrontation as it is, then throw in that i have to get in the middle of my mother & husband & it REALLY sucks.
i understand (as M keeps on having to remind me) that grandmas don't see their grandchildren do wrong, but that's no excuse for accepting snotty attitude. christmas & this weekend were no exceptions (now i remember why we haven't visited in a while).
at christmas everyone's feathers were ruffled because Z was snotty about demanding some cake. B rightly correctly, however his delivery wasn't acceptable to my mother. during my mom's birthday visit, Z wouldn't read & was giving me attitude & when i corrected him, my mother informed me he was too young to understand. then she said it was because he was a boy.
so i went round & round with her, i told her how smart he is, he can talk circles around some adults (to get them to agree to whatever he wants), his memory is fantastic (as long as you're not asking 'what did you just do?' & he knows it was bad, but if you point to a picture of a shark he can tell you what kind it is, what it eats & it's approximate life span).
after Z had a few rounds in the corner, he read, very well i might add. he has learned he doesn't have to follow rules at grammie's if he isn't forced & even then grammie will protect him from meanie parents.
as we were prepping to leave Z came to ask me if he could come stay with grammie over the summer. i told him of course he could & then went to talk it over with my mom. i'm sure she expected me to say no or come up with some excuse, but that wasn't where i was going at all. i told her i would bring him down whenever she wanted him over the summer, she just needed to let me know when she would be there.
then she said "well, i'm always here, i never go anywhere".
"what about work mom? you go to work 5 days a week. he's 6, he can't stay here alone. you have to take time off from work to stay with him if you want him to come visit you"
she hadn't thought of that part.
does that explain why i've been an adult my entire life?