today i had a scheduled appt to have a couple moles removed. i had the screening done back in may but just got around to the actual removal part. so yeah, handsome, i mean Mr. Long, was there & he took care of me (not that way! he took my vitals) then i went back to see the dr.
she looked me over & picked out 6 moles she wanted to remove. WHAT - i thought we were doing 2? then after looking me over even further she decides i am just a spotty person & it would be best to start with 1 - THANK YOU. especially beings i did not know what i had in store for me.
i didn't realize what a procedure this was going to be; i was expecting something on the order of having a wart frozen off the skin, no big deal, right? wrong. handsome escorted me to another room with a table for me to lay on & next to it trayS with scalpelS, syringeS, stackS of gauze, bottles of clear liquid - wtf?
so they do all the prepping & covering & laying everything everywhere & she asks if it's ok if handsome gives me the lidocane, sure. um, he's not good at that. she instructs him for the second round & it hurts more. she tests for numbness & when he leaves she gives me some more, painlessly.
once he returns she asks me if i'm ready & i say yes, then i ask "what am i doing this myself?" (i'm also thinking in the back of my head how happy i am that the mole isn't on my butt or something beings handsome is present for the entire thing.) she does what we're there for & puts it in the sample cup & calls it "cute" - ick, it's a chunk of my flesh.
unfortunately we also discovered that i'm a bleeder, i guess a big time bleeder. she even left the room for awhile & had handsome put pressure on my arm because it wasn't slowing down. (did you get that? yeah, lots of alone time with handsome, how come this shit never happened when i was single?)
eventually she returns to stitch me up but beings she's afraid i'm going to start bleeding again, she only gives me 1 stitch. once all that's done i finally look at the back of my arm & there's a big fricken hole in it! seriously, i've seen smaller nostrils. she told me to come back next week to check on it & take the stitch out.
i told her i had an appt scheduled next week anyway. what i didn't say was that it was for a pap - handsome is NOT ALLOWED to sit in on that one!