Wednesday, October 8, 2008

about 6

i often think about my age in relation to my mother's - as in i'm 37, when my mom was 37 i was 16. can i imagine what it would be like to have a 16 year old child? what if B & I met that much earlier in life & Z was now 16, what would he be like? how do i look compared to what i remember my mom looking like when she was 37?

NO, i can not even fathom having a 16 year old child, i'm having enough problems with the 6 year old thank you very much...

2 part, if B & I had met that much earlier in life for Z to be possible, i don't know that we would have hooked up, if we would have i doubt that we would have stayed together. i can't say for sure about B, but i know i had a ton of growing up to do & was so completely unsure of who i was. although being with someone was all i ever wanted, i really needed that time to figure myself out (still working on some parts!). as for imagining what Z will be like at 16 - tall (hoping), thin (genetically impossible to be anything but), if we're lucky he'll stay blonde & blue eyed...he'll probably have a bad case of acne & even more stubborn (if that's even possible!).

my mom & i have completely different body shapes, so a comparision is difficult but i think i'm holding on pretty good.

ok, where i was really going with this is tonight when i was reading to Z & laying next to him he was looking at me very strange, just really looking at me & for the first time i thought about my age in relation to him - what do i remember about being 6?

short answer - very little
the biggest thing - my parent's divorce was final & people would whisper about it. i hardly remember my parents being together other than the arguement they had before he left. even when i see pictures of my dad & i, it's like looking at someone else's life.
i remember my 1st grade teacher was Mrs. Sellers, she was small & wore cool black suits & i had a really hard time learning how to read.

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