you're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

but it isn't, it's mine & it's about me...
(fyi, that's a carly simon rip off if it's not clicking for you)

it's my 20 year reunion in a few years weeks. i know that can't be right, somebody screwed up with the math, i demand a recount! so although i'm looking forward to it, i realized something the other day, part of the reason why i haven't attended any of the previous reunions came to light.

see, Z & I were off to the library again, in the vw. oh yeah, the vw is fixed-ed. i'm not going to say 'fixed' because it isn't truly, it's a shade of fixed, ergo fixed-ed. so far all the alarms & lights have stopped after B put it together, the window works & so do the locks. what doesn't work? i can't open the door from the inside. i wasn't sure if i should drive the car, but then i remembered the parking fiasco & decided worrying about how i would get out of the car if i got in an accident was better than facing the parking lot in the truck.

before we headed out is when the epiphany happened, not only has 20 years past, i'm 38 [wth? how did that happen? more importantly when did that happen?] & i still don't have a clue on how to be a girl. i can't fix my hair up nice & don't know how to put on make-up.

for the first time in my life a few weeks ago i got an expensive haircut. she didn't really do much with my hair, but she did tell me that because of the various textures of my hair when i get a bad haircut, it's absolutely fricken atrocious with my hair. [oh wait a minute, maybe i did know that]. so i'll go back in a few weeks, one more round, hoping to come out with model hair...wish me luck. and as for my face, ugh, i'm actually thinking of going to a dept store, sitting in one of those chairs at a makeup counter & having them do me up. that should be a new level of hell interesting. i typically hate those makeup girls, they reek with disdain at those of us who aren't caked in layers of camouflage.

then there's the clothes. i know, clothes usually aren't a problem for me, but i'm not sure how dressy to go. i don't want to wear staple black pants & a top, i want to look nice but not overdressed & hoity-toity [i'm not sure you can do that while unemployed...& not independently weathly]. i made the mistake of asking B what the women were wearing to his reunion in July...stupid, stupid, i know....they were wearing jeans & sweatshirts [!!!!! with john deere tractors on them ].