back to the regular schedule

on fri night one of B's co-workers had a get together. it was just down the street so the 3 of us walked over. B carried a bottle of wine in one hand & a can of beer in the other, classy huh?

when we got there i realized it was a potluck & the 3 of us only brought smiles, good appetites & a single bottle of wine...oh yeah, & that can of beer. i suppose we could have shared that.

i found out, after several people informed me, that indeed we are moving.

it's true the wife always is the last to know...

at least it was about the move & nothing more.

the party was split into to groups, the elders & the younger folk, we were smack dab in the middle. early on we hung out with the older group but as they dwindled out we ended up with the younger group (they were still awake, getting funnier & louder as the alcohol took affect).

i can't believe we've lived here 4 years & we still barely have people we consider friends.

so now the realization has hit me, in order to move, we have to pack all our shit up, that won't be fun. i'm leaving a decent paying job for the unknown. i need to update my resume & start sending it out. i called the golf place to see how things are going there, they're on a hiring freeze & my old boss was part of a recent 70 person layoff.

this is going to be rough, but know it will work out, positive thoughts!

so stalker...

did you enjoy the read?

nothing about you other than a call out.

yes, i know you were here friday night for 2 hours reading everything i've written since i started working here.
then you came back on saturday night to re-read the call out again.

i knew it was just a matter of time before you looked it up because i wouldn't tell you address.

keep in mind this can go both ways, this blog doesn't have my name on it anywhere, but i CAN write about you.

June 2, 2003

yeah, i bought twilight, but i've only watched it 2x, so far. i'm still in the middle of watching the other disks with all the making of stuff, but one thing struck me. i knew stephenie meyers wrote the book based off a dream, but she actually remembers she HAD the dream on 6/2/2003.

wow....

i barely remember things that were happening in my real life in that general timeframe, that exact date, a blur.

here's what i recall:
Z had just turned 1 a few days before that, i had taken the afternoon off to spend the day with him. my mom came over & brought her mexican wedding cake (white cake, white frosting, coconut). we sat him in his high chair let him go crazy, cake & frosting were everywhere. i called B & took pics throughout the process.

B was still in Japan. [f-ing military] he was supposed to return just after Christmas [& IT'S JUNE!!!]. we had been told countless times he would returning soon only to be delayed again [f-ing military x2]. by this point i told him don't bother telling me when they say you are coming home, just let me know when you're at LAX.

i had been working at the golf place 3 months. it was my first big career move after graduating college & instead of moving up, i chose an easier job that was closer to home for less pay [f-ing military x3, single parenting is not an easy job]. i had a great boss though.

disneyland 09 - pt III

i know, this is like a running drunk but instead of good things like vodka & tequila it's mouse ears & awkwardly happy people.

i emo'ed out in protest of the happiness, yup all black & heavy eyeliner...that made me feel a little better.

i was still on iffy ground from the migraine so i didn't even try to get on any rides on tues. we did one last round of CA Adv & i got dizzy just watching the boys on the swings as i tried to take pics of them.

Z ended up being on very good behavior the entire trip i'm happy to report...considering he should have been home chained to his bed & only let off to clean the bathrooms & cook meals for us.

kidding, latest events were minor infractions.

he got his annual disneyland shirt, some gigantic candy & a couple of toys from the lego store.

B & I survived to tell our story...next time we hit OC i'm not leaving until i get my garlic salmon bowl though.

disneyland 09 - pt II

oh yeah, i forgot when i was getting Z's clothes out sun night i pulled out his last pair of clean pants for him to wear only to discover they were ripped i mean completley flipping destroyed. he's in the middle of putting them on when we see they are torn - from the groin down to the ankle!!!! so we headed over to target, arrived just a few minutes after 9pm, but it's sun so the store was closed. grrr!

the next morning we go back to get some pants, then had a $45 breakfast at ihop served by a pissy waitress. i know that serving tables wasn't her choice career, but honestly, she threw our silverware on the table....after we had asked for a spoon to stir our coffee! bee-yoch!
[of course if i was ever a waitress i would be a bee-yoch too, i've just been fortunate enough to not have do that job...]

Z liked CA Adv best so we went there first & went on all his fav rides again. we also got on the raft ride again, where i got completely soaked. i wanted to take my pants off because they were drenched; soggy pants is not a good feeling & i'm guessing not a good look either. however i'm thinking going around pantless is not allowed, even at the happiest place on earth...that would be a different happy place, no?
whatever mickey...

next we headed over to disneyland for some rides. i figured beings i was already wet we should get on the log ride but it had an hour long wait, so we decided not to & got on other rides. um, in case you didn't know, some of those people at disneyland don't really check those fast pass card times...so you can get a fast pass, then go to the front of the line (over & over)....but i didn't tell you that k? shhhh. so we got on a few rides, repeatedly.

then i had to be stupid girl & get an upset tummy...onset to a migraine...back to the hotel [remember that song? shut up, i know you sang it too] for a nap. but it didn't help, i woke up with the headache still there so we had to cancel sushi with OC-D; which was even more disappointing than not going on the haunted house.

disneyland 09 - pt I

on friday Z got in trouble again at school, but the trip was already planned, reservations made & non-refundable deposits => cancellation wasn't going to happen.

we headed out of town late sat am & checked into the hotel around 1pm. we decided most of the day was spent so we just checked out the nearby grounds & planned on getting to bed early so we could hit the park early sun.

although we were at the disney hotel & could enter the park at 7am, that's unattainable for this family...i think it was 8..or maybe 9am when we made it to the park. never the less, early for us.
we got on a couple of rides, then it began to rain. while in line for the matterhorn it started raining hard...for OC. we weren't dressed for rain, we all had light cotton jackets & looked like wet dogs.

we were trying to get on indoor rides to stay out of the rain, even though it was dissipating. we took Z on the indiana jones ride, but he still didn't like it. last time he actually thought i was driving the vehicle (stay out of my way!), this time he realized that's part of the ride. he refused to go on the haunted house, so i was bummed about that, it's still my favorite ride.

after our morning adventures we had lunch & headed back to the room for naps.

in the afternoon we went to CA Adv, it was a first time for all of us. Z liked the dropping jellyfish ride, the bee swings & the car rollercoaster that made me scream. we also went on the rafting ride, because we didn't get enough of having wet clothing in the morning. we didn't stay long though as we had a dinner date with some pirates.

Z really liked the pirate dinner, finally a place where it's not only ok to yell, but also ok to "boo" the other team => found his element. the entertainment was alright but the food wasn't so good. the chicken was ok, but the shrimp, well, um, i'm surprised it didn't land in the hair of the person in front of me when i tried to eat the first one; it melted in my mouth...in the WRONG way.

what a load

it wasn't until late yesterday afternoon that i realized today was st. patty's day.
thanks to SIL making a post on FB about making green treats for school, i got it on time. so last night i made my own batch of green treats for Z to take to school this morning.

& last night i told him to be sure he had something green picked out to wear to school. he didn't. he didn't want to wear green. i told him he had to wear green.

why?

because if he didn't wear green:
-> he would get pinched
-> then he would get mad
-> then he would get in a fight
-> & end up in the principal's office
-> AGAIN!
-> THIS WEEK!
-> OMG, WHY CAN'T THIS KID BEHAVE????? (oh sorry, that was internal)

simple but true, he couldn't argue with it.
at least we all know where we stand.

****************************************
this morning i woke up remembering that i dreamt i was doing laundry - wth kind of dream is that? i wasted precise dream time envisioning dirty socks & chonies when i could have been having good dreams?

then when i got to work i realized even with all my preparations last night i still managed to forget to wear green today. i think this is valid proof that i'm not awake until sometime after i get to work.

i have a feeling this isn't going to be a good day.

parenting sucks

last week we got Z's 2nd trimester report card. notice how it's taken me almost a week to talk about it.

yeah, that good.

a conference was only scheduled if necessary.
we were scheduled first in line (f*** me).

there were a few 1s, mostly 2s & one lonely 3 (for turning in homework); basically par for the course.

although his reading skills have improved over 130 points, he still needs 100 more to go to be ready for 2nd grade. his comprehension is virtually non-existent. he even tested poorly in math (low 70s) although his teacher did say he's not a good test taker because he made mistakes on stuff she knew he's capable of.

then we got to sign off a form acknowleding his less than stellar performance & another one saying we will be better parents. (you know get him to school on time, make him go everyday & feed him, because we haven't tried that stuff yet.)

she did say his handwriting has improved, in sentence writing he starts with capital & ends with a period & he's done quite well in spelling, but there's nowhere specifically on the report card to reflect these things - i guess they aren't important.

are you happy here?

i went into my boss's office yesterday to ask him about something & once that was done he asked me: "can i ask you something?"

me - sure (guarded, with a 'you're the boss, no isn't an option')

boss - are you happy here?

(cue extreme guarded silence & possibly a mild panic attack, possible thoughts include issuance of walking papers, although we work under multi-year contracts & cut-backs won't affect us for at least another year)

then he realizes i'm not going to answer that question with anything other than using up more than fair share of oxygen in the room because of my efforts at restraining the erratic heartbeat.

boss again - because i noticed you're overqualified for your position, so if you like, i can whore you out pass your resume around to the right people.

i'm sure i blushed aw, he wants to whore me out!, compliments are difficult for me to accept. i was upfront about the unknown future, except for the part about how i'm going insane & can't live here any longer...oopsy.

why shut the door when there is a possibility? (infinitesimal, but i will not deny the existence, i am fate's bitch & will not deny her presence (side note, yes, of course fate is female, please, men don't carry grudges like that around for years.))

where was i?

oh, yeah, when there is a possibility that we might stay, if we do, yes, i would want a different job. not that i don't love blog reading & checking FB constantly throughout the day, one can take only so many online training courses, my brain is gelatinizing.

so thanks boss, i'll keep that in my pocket.

life would be easier if i liked it here, but i've always (read ALWAYS!!!!) chosen the difficult route.

the birthday weekend

luckily it was a flex-friday, so while Z was at school we spent the day cleaning & organizing our chaos the house...for company. it hasn't been prepped like that for months.

that evening the W family arrived (R & girls); the kids played, we drank & talked. the boys, i mean B & R, were off playing WOW cue eye roll so i made the kids go to bed about 10:30 when i couldn't handle them anymore.

R brought us moonshine - how hick is that?
real hick when you think it's one of the best forms of booze you've ever tasted! it was apple cinnamon flavored with a buttery background & only a very light hint of alcohol at the end. if you heated up a cup of that thinking it was apple cider, you'd be completely wasted, on the floor past out before you saw the bottom of the cup. we did 2 shots & that little bit influenced my dreams that night.

we had a quiet day & that evening some of B's co-workers came by the house to celebrate B's birthday & to meet/welcome R who will be taking B's place soon. we ate, drank & talked...probably too much although everyone was gone by 11.

the next morning the W family left early, anxious to get home. i had hoped to make them breakfast, but going back to bed after they left was nice. we all ended up having a PJ day, Z's favorite.

Nana's mole

i made mole (pro-nounced mo-leh for all you non-mexicans, i read this over & read "mole" & about hurled) for the first time ever yesterday.

ok, i cheated, i used a can as a started (just like nana). however, nana's brand hasn't been in production in forever & i haven't had her mole in about 4 years, possibly longer, so i wasn't too picky.

my mom told me to brown some flour then add the sauce. out of the can it tasted strongly of chocolate, i wasn't sure i was going to be able to make it work. i added chicken bouilon, water, a lot of garlic powder, chili powder & more cayenne than i thought anyone could handle.

i couldn't believe it. i actually got it to taste like someting on the order, relatively close to something that came fram the same quadrant of the universe as nana's mole - WOW!!!!!

runs in the family

today i picked Z up from his after-school-care-place; anxious of how the day went. he said morning school was good, but the afternoon not so much. he told me he called someone "a hole".

i was astounded. shocked.

"what? why would you call someone that? that's just horrible"

i didn't even hear the response. nothing would have been justifiable anyways. then i asked him if an adult was involved? did he get punished?

yes, michael.

good, he was still there so i could talk to him.
we walked up to the front desk & i asked M about it. he said Z had called someone "an [whisper]ASS-[regular volume]hole".

[oh, that's COMPLETELY different]

he said Z acted like he didn't know it was a bad word, so it was explained to him that it was, that it was unacceptable to call people names & unacceptable to use bad words & he was put in time out for awhile.

good i told M & i thanked him for everything & re-affirmed it by telling him to please be sure to put him in time out for any naughty behavior, that he needs to be aware of the implications of not acting right & we left.

& i walked out the door thinking that kid probably was a-hole.
Z just stated a fact.
seriously, if there's one thing this family knows, it's a-holes.

if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck -> it's a duck!

more than i thought

evidently i'm a little more uptight than i thought...

the other day Z & I were in the kitchen. i was in the middle of something & he was helping me unload the dishwasher. (i know, how cute is that - i can get the 6 yo to help me in the kitchen but not the husband...sigh.)

he was putting the silverware in the drawer only there weren't any forks in there so he asked me the placement. i told him the order & continued whatever i was doing & thanked him for being considerate enough to ask me about it.

later in the day i opened the drawer to get something & i'm pretty sure i took a step back when i saw what he had done.

everything was where it was supposed to be, only the forks were backwards.

as in prongs of death were facing towards the opener of said drawer.

i had to make a true effort to NOT return the forks to their appropriate position.

they're still like that.
it still bothers me.

end of an era

for the past 3 weeks Z has gotten happy faces E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y.
i was afraid i'd hex it, so i didn't share.
until now.

broken.
yesterday for throwing rocks & some dumbass kid who got in his path & was hit.
we weren't too disappointed, it was a little slip, he's been behaving SO well lately.

then i got the call.
yeah, problem on the playground after lunch. he was playing on the monkey bars & kicked a kid or 2 (& it may have been an accident). he was asked to stop, but didn't, then everyone was kicking & hitting. (i imagine something on the order of a prison brawl with tiny little bodies though.)
then Z bit a girl.

yup, bit.

surprisingly, he didn't get suspended. i'm guessing because it's a new principal & she is unaware of his history...so we're going to take advantage of it & move on. his recesses will be taken away for the rest of the week & a spanking will be had at home.

fighting, kicking, hitting girls = bad news
biting, anyone = unacceptable

why does raising kids have to be so difficult?

GD SOB

this morning B had to get up early for his mandatory exercise thing, so i got to sleep in an extra hour & take Z to school.

when i get up i always go deadbolt the front door & after my shower go turn on pandora to listen to music as we get ready. shortly after my shower Z came waltzing in, already awake. we talk as we get dressed & i'm thinking about how i enjoy this time together & miss it, & listening to the music when suddenly the volume goes up then down.

we both noticed it & think it's weird but before i can get up (i was on the floor putting lotion on my legs) Z says "i felt something touch me".

my thoughts: the music was loud, but not that loud. i didn't hear the door open or close. i didn't hear the dog bark. nothing. other than the music volume weirdness.

i jump up start to head out of the room & there's a man right out side the bedroom door.

that man was my husband.

however, fight or flight-mode had already kicked in & i yelled at him "GD SOB!"

[not the acronym though]

right there in front of Z.
no "F"s came out though...

it wasn't an ultimatum

i couldn't take it anymore & asked today about the school choice; was his decision really made?

i had told him in the past that i could [but REALLY don't want to] stay another year here, 2 questionable, 3 no way.

so where did that leave us?

we talked it out. if we stay here an extra year, it doesn't really benefit his educational goals at all [while my sanity erodes daily]. we don't necessarily want to move back to SD house to have to turn around & move again after everyone is just getting comfy.

so now instead of researching rn programs, he will reseach lvn to rn programs as that was the key to the program here.

then he pouted "for the past 20 years the military has told me where to live, i thought i finally got a say in it."

i clarified for him "what are you talking about? you get to choose where we live; you just CAN'T choose here."

SEE?

i'm totally flexible, easy going & not difficult at all!

shut it! i am!