crushed!!!!

anxiety about the upcoming future has exceeded exponential logrithmithic realms lately.

as in wtf are we going to do when B gets out & we are free?

grand plans of an awesome vacation went out the window a long time ago.

we decided to focus on B & school, so it was a matter of where in CA?
then we discovered practically all the schools are impacted & have waiting lists that may be YEARS long.
so i told me look at ALL the schools in CA, not just the ones where we think we would like to live - ANYWHERE [but here].

i kinda [yeah, right] got after him last weekend about the timeline really winding down, you know, if we're moving & he needs transcripts & enrollment stuff to do [because i'm the mom no matter what & sometimes i really hate that about myself].

he said he had completed additional research but still had not actually contacted anyone. so i told him he should find a few schools that he's really interested in & talk to the counselors or someone in the nursing program. i've always found counselors helpful to some degree & if the program is impacted all over, i'm sure someone somewhere has to know something beneficial that isn't stated online.

so he did it today.
what did he do?
he called the local community college.

he's trying to kill me.

they have a lvn to rn program that will take 3.5 to 4 Y-E-A-R-S to complete, but he can get in starting jan.
YEARS!
3.5 to 4
i don't know if i can take 3.5 to 4 more MONTHS [or DAYS possibly] here!

i'm going to have to get some form of anti-depressants in a drip & carry a bag around with me.

this isn't funny.
this hurts.
4 years here - ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?