this is going to be....fun...no, not fun, very, very, not fun

so things are better with my mom, she's even calling me now, still acting like nothing happened though. she actually called to ask me if i would like to go with her to visit nana.

i said yes...while my head went in a gazillion different directions about how weird that was going to be:
- what were we going to talk about?
- will she say something finally?
- will i say something?
- will i go totally #$*(&#*( batshitcrazy & then finish the trip in tears?

so it's going to be AWKWARD^{[to the power of infinity]}

i have to let my mother run the show & only then will my presence be accepted. if i say anything or try to question her i will be met with silence, this i know. but will i be able to hold my tongue, is something i'm unsure of.

the thanksgiving blowout 2009 was just the tip of the iceberg as far as my mother's MIS-perceptions me, my life & my family. her distortions actually go back awhile & unfortunately she has chosen to believe her interpretations rather than talk to me about them.

she chose the martyr path & i'm the bad person [although i didn't know a situation existed].

i wish my mother would just *^*&$ GROW UP ALREADY, I'M REALLY ^&*%$$ TIRED OF BEING THE ADULT IN THE RELATIONSHIP!!!