the trip

i hardly slept sat nite beings i was so filled with anxiety about what the impending days' events.

as anticipated, mom didn't say anything & surprisingly i was able to hold my tongue.

nana is doing well thankfully.
my oldest uncle has decided it's time to cut back on some of her care. my mom spoke with him yesterday while we were down there & she said he made a valid point - we don't really know what nana is capable of at this point bc the caregivers do everything for her.

what really saddened me though was how things were at nana's.
she was practically out of food; the freezer was almost bare, the fridge held milk & eggs but that was about it & they had only a couple of slices of bread. i went to walmart & got some basic supplies & a bunch of groceries.

i almost had a meltdown as the stuff was being rung up. it's so hard for me to understand that nana had 8 kids, a lot of grandkids & great-grandkids, but no one comes around to help or even to say hello.

my nana's caregiver was talking to my mom & she kept on saying how i was the only one that came by, that somehow i always showed up in there time of need, that i was such a good person for coming by & helping as much as i did.

i could see hesitation in my mother's face when she agreed with her.