i called my cousin CH, the one my dad lived with off & on for the past 20 years & found out a lot from her. i wasn't calling to find out things, i was calling to pass on updates about my dad; she & i have to be in close contact beings she's more aware of what was going on in his life than i ever was.
she told me my dad knew he had lung cancer for a few months. not only did he know, but he would throw it in her face while he smoked in her house, as in she would ask him to go outside to smoke but refused bc "he was dying"....selfish & childish to the very end.
she tried to get my dad to let me know what was going on with him, but he didn't want me to know; she even asked him if she could call me but he told her no.
this explains why the hospital didn't have my contact info, he chose not to give it to them. there's even a note on his file at the hospital no one is allowed to go through his personal belongings. [that's a whole new can of angry worms. i told B maybe i'll find out i have a brother & sister, but more likely i think he just didn't want them to contact me until it was too late.]
my dad didn't have any kind of insurance or any plans at all, yet he didn't want me, the person who would be held responsible for him, to know what was going on.