not feeling it

i started to write a post because i haven't i a few days & yeah, there's stuff to write, but i'm just not feeling it today; my head hurts & i'm not funny.

baby C is better, was taken out of icu yesterday & cousin C says he looks much better.

the weekend was a quiet, that's a lie, read on:
my idea of getting Z ahead for school backfired. the plan was to read all his 1st grade books one more time before school started. we got on this kick a few weeks ago, so it didn't seem an impossible task at the time...
sometime last week i counted up the books, ~30 left told him as long as we read 5 or 6 books a night he was fine.
overambitious one asked if we could just read 10 a night & be done with it [yah, for type A!!]; but that didn't happen, the procrastinator in him won [B's side] & before we knew it days had past & the stack wasn't getting smaller.

so books were read, tears were shed, spankings were had as well.
yah for school....
i felt like such a heel, but B reminded me if it had worked out as planned it would have been fine, Z's procrastination & his big smartass mouth made it all go sour.

today is Z's first day of 2nd grade. i don't have much to write as we didn't even meet the teacher. the kids line up on the playground, she walked them all to class & at the door told everyone to say goodbye. i asked for a strict teacher, but seriously no introductions whatsoever?

not the day i expected

granted this week was not the week i thought it was going to be. when B figured out he started school 1 week before Z, I wasn't thrilled but thought it would be a good opportunity for Z & I to spend sometime together.

not that i expected rainbows & puppydogs, but come on, i didn't imagine that amount of yelling, spanking & soap in the mouth was really necessary. i'm sure the neighbor will have cps on speed dial soon [if she doesn't already].

yesterday Z & I went to the pool while B was in school & in the evening we had a grand shouting match. i was still a little worn out from the scuffle & hadn't made any plans for today. just after B left for class, i received a phone call from cousin C, the baby was in for a scheduled check-up for his throat.

background, the baby was born with hpv in his throat. they don't know how he contracted beings cousin C has never tested positive, all they can guess is that somehow he contracted it in the hospital (he's a preemie). the hpv causes growths that interfere with his breathing, so he has monthly checkups to have anything removed.

so today was a checkup day, growths were found & removed. at the end of the procedure they noticed he wasn't breathing. they resuscitated him, but in doing so they made a hole in his lung.

when i got the call from cousin C all she knew was he'd stopped breathing, i drove down there & waited almost 2 hours to find out what really happened & how he was doing. they're keeping him sedated overnight to help him relax & heal, tomorrow they'll let him wake up & then evaluate if any damage occurred.

nana words

i thought i'd put out background before, but i looked & couldn't find anything.

i've given hints about family drama & such [what family doesn't have drama?] but without going into too much detail, the thing about nana is girlfriend is too honest. [yeah, i know i'm guilty of it as well, but she's on a whole different level]. so much so that's she's alienated many family members [let's not concern ourselves with non-family members].

when saying hello, she tells you exactly what she sees, completely unedited. unfortunately, most people gain weight over time, so what comes out is something along the lines of "oh you've gotten so fat".

yeah, not good.

i understand how unkind & insulting that is to hear & maybe because she's never said that to me i am more accepting of her words. i'm usually greeted with "ay, my flacita" [skinny & i don't even want to get started on my issues with that word!!!] this last visit i got "my you're dark". [yup, been going to the pool a lot]

August visit

made a surprise trip down to the valley on sunday. i went back & forth about going for a few days & didn't really make the decision until that morning; part of it was i was worried about the heat, part of it had to do with family drama...

main pieces of the puzzle came together & Z & I headed down to my mom's, picked her up then made the drive. i was worried about how things would be, since our return things haven't been that great, but i guess the big picture was she wanted to see nana [& that's a good thing, so no complaints here].

we made it to nana's about 1:30. she's doing alright for being on the cusp of 90. still wobbling around on her cane, but not using a walker. still trying to get by without her hearing aide & missing pertinent pieces of a conversation. oh well, she saw us, we saw her, that was the important part.

i also snuck in a visit with some hs buddies [the true inspiration for the trip]. i was an hour late for their reunion planning meeting, so that attempt was futile, but at least i got to see everyone & spend a few hours visiting with them as well. it really is unbelievable that 20 years have past since i've seen a few of those girls, seriously IMPOSSIBLE!

when i returned to get my mom & Z, nana made sure to repeat herself [& i'm pretty sure this time it wasn't a memory slip, but more of making a point] to tell me....ok...i've got to say this really fast so i don't cry......she told me tobesureicamebacksoontogetmysewingmachine......whaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

did you get that?
so nana has this singer sewing machine that's super old, it's got a wooden top that flips over & hides the machine when it's not in use & it doesn't have a peddle it has an entire little platform thingy to make it run & it has a leather belt connecting the platform thingy to the machine part to make it run.
haha, found a pic HERE
i can not even begin to tell you how much i played with that thing when i was kid!! for some reason, that platform was just the best toy ever!

so yeah, nana told me she wants me to take it. she knows i've always wanted it, that no one else has any interest in it at all, but that if i don't take it asap someone will.
death is ugly.
and immanent.
she's still spry & pretty with it...but dang, 90, she knows she isn't going to be around forever.

alright stop crying!
bunch of pansies!

well, to end this on a brighter note, after leaving nana's we went to visit cousin C & her baby. well, he's 2 1/2 now, not much of a baby. they're doing fine & we had a nice little visit with them. then it was time to fly so mom was home by 8.

when i got home i told B about what nana said & we agreed, now that we're here we will definitely make an effort to visit her more often & next time we'll take the truck so i can bring her sewing machine home with me.

a little story about "boy-r-dee"

i'm not proud of it, but yes, i do feed my child chef boyardee sad excuse for food concoctions. i was really, really against buying it for him in the first place, but he wanted it SO bad, i figured fine, i'll buy it, he'll try it, it will taste like crap & we're done - everybody wins, yes?

nope - he liked it, can't get enough of it, i actually can use it as incentive, a treat if you will [although i consider it more of a punishment, but that's neither here nor there].

so i let him pick out whichever variety he wants & we usually keep a few cans on hand at all times for those occasions when we don't plan well, or B & I want to eat something too spicy for him, or a "i have to eat now or i'll starve to death" thing happens [i'm guilty of the last one as well].

last night there was a mix up in dinner plans, so "boy-r-dee" saved the day [i really try to not make any faces or gag when i'm heating it up for him, but it smells bad, can't imagine eating it!]. it was a ravioli with "pepperoni bits" [sounds scrumptious huh? you should have seen those bits!].

as Z's eating, i ask "is it good?"
Z - yeah
me - really? [oops, that was supposed to be inside voice]
Z - here try some (as he puts a spoonful to my face & i recede like it's going to jump off the spoon & attack me)
me - no thanks, you eat it all. how's the pepperoni? normally you don't like it.
Z - it's good, better than ribeye

so, boy-r-dee faux pepperoni is better than ribeye in his world...ick!

and now for something a little different...

we like trying different things & the commissary is kinda fun as they have quite a few international items.

one time we bought malta goya drinks, a malty non-alcoholic drink, that's EWWW!!!

the last time we went B picked out one of these (i didn't put the name down because it's in japanese, which i don't speak & neither does my keyboard).

anyhoo, B mainly picked it out because the bottle is interesting & i'm a glass freak; so even if whatever inside didn't taste that great, i was getting me some glass. we didn't know how truly interesting it was until we decided to open it.

we hadn't looked at the bottle fastener or the instructions (what? 4 steps!) or the list of warnings (including "do not try to remove the marble from the bottle" & "do not consume if marble is broken dropped or missing").

on top of the bottle (not fastened) was a little plastic round tab thingy, connected to the bottle was a large metal ring & keeping the bottle closed was, yup a marble. so you use the little tab thingy to push the marble out of place thereby releasing the pressure (which bubbled all over B's shorts....oops!)

the drink was surprising good. sorry, i like japanese foodstuff, but a lot time it can be scary, i half-heartily was expecting a fish-sauce type carbonated soda or some sort of gelatinous balls in there, but this was good. a very light lemony carbonated drink.

also, Z LOVED the drink & the bottle & the marble....for a solid 30 minutes he went around trying to figure out what we could use the bottle for.

thumbs up on the mizuki marble drink.

summer's almost over

time really has flown, B starts school on monday then Z starts the following week.
doesn't seem all that long ago that we were back in hell i mean, the sticks.

there's a few boxes in the computer room & garage that still need to be unpacked & there are a ton of empty boxes on the side of the house. at one point there was a box in our bedroom labeled "mbed-games & clothes"
WHAT?
should that read "games & costumes"?
when my mom came to visit i made sure to turn that box around....
when i finally got a chance to open it, really curious about what i was going to find...B's silly board games....nope, not sexy-time games, i'm talking on the order of RISK.

****************************

we've been working on the yard a lot. when we bought the house we loved all the greenery, not realizing how much work it required [& made a vow to never again buy a corner lot house. fyi ghetto house is also a corner lot, shit happens]. after 4 years of simple maintenance we have tons of work to get it back to looking good. the landscaper we hired did a great job of keeping it in line, but everything is BIG, way BIG or um, dead....

****************************

before we moved, i put Z's shot record in a very safe place [read never to be found again], so when we went to sign him up for school i had his entire medical record but not the little yellow card. [fyi, little yellow card is official, ENTIRE medical record is useless] while at the office B tried calling old school & the lady was a mess (she didn't even know her own fax # - LOST!!!). so lady at new school gave us a waiver, hopefully i'll find the record before the school year ends, i'm sure that will be sooner than old school will get their act together.

it's ON kraft!

yesterday B wasn't feeling well so i made abondigas (mexican meatball) soup. the lean hamburger meat was purchased that morning, cherry tomatos were from a neighbor & B reminded me we have an oregano plant so that was fresh too. i usually follow my aunt's recipe & keep it plain, but this time i decided to add some carrots & zucchini. it was one of the best soups i've made if i do say so myself (the boys agreed).

previously Z had asked me to make some mac & cheese for him, so after having some soup we moved on to cooking pokemon pasta. it was about 8:15pm when it was ready so i asked Z if he wanted some before bed. the lure of pokemon mac & cheese was too much for the little guy so he had a bowl. when he was done he told me

"that's the best meal you've ever made"

dear kraft - this official notice, the fight is on!

stupid is as stupid does

the 1st time Z looked at me like i was stupid he was 2; i don't remember the scenario, but i won't ever forget the face [probably because i see it so often now]. right after that i called my mom, apologized & told her it must be innate behavior.

over the past 5 years, Z's opinion hasn't changed & he's become more vocal about my ignorance. [never mind how much i teach him or help him with homework, i'm still stupid]

today we were having a conversation about someone else & i explained to Z that sometimes people act like they don't know something to see how much another person knows about the subject; from that Z went on to say i was 1/2 as smart as B.

what?
granted B is smart & i DID donate 1/2 my brain during pregnancy, i still feel he's not twice as intelligent as i am. [in fact we've taken the same online iq tests & we within just a few points of each other.]
i told Z that B & I are pretty evenly matched, just in different areas because of the things we've experienced & been exposed to.

Z still wasn't buying it, so i went on to tell him that i went to school longer & have a college degree. [not that i think a piece of paper makes me any smarter] i don't know why i felt the need but i went into how it took me longer because i worked during the day & only took night classes when Z quickly stated "oh it to you longer because you're not as smart?"
[are you f'ing serious? the nads on this kid!!!]

then we went out to dinner & Z was coloring the kid's menu & he let B & I help. Z critiqued my coloring & said i did a good job staying in the lines, so then B & I tell him that's what i did all those years in school.

so the truth of the matter is i have a BS degree in coloring, but i'm really not that good at that either...

just when you thought the "mouth of babes" no longer had a purpose

we went to corona today to visit some of B's family that we'd kinda lost contact with over the past 4 years when we lived on another planet...

it's hard to believe how much the kids have grown the youngest one is now 16. before she was a little girl. yeah, 12, duh, but really, a little girl, not much bigger than Z is now. she's a young woman, still small framed, maybe a little bigger than me but not by much & all grown up in the face. Z decided he loved her although i tried to explain to him one cannot love a relative in the boy/girl-friend kinda way.

the next one had a job in the morning & then left for her night class. the (still living at home) eldest is now married & has a 1yo little girl. they had changed some as well, but not as much as the youngest.

we stopped off to eat on the way home at macaroni grill. Z had spaghetti with red sauce & a giant meatball. when he finished he asked if meatballs grew on trees...

as we walked out of the restaurant he told me his 3rd car is going to be a "martyr-cycle"...he didn't specify if he was going the harley or crotch-rocket style.
& then he told me his 2nd car is going to be a "quarter-vette"...B & I aren't sure, but we're guessing that's some sort of cross between a corvette & a ford escort.

as for the #1 [yeah, i know, you're waiting patiently] he didn't know the name of the car [he was doing SO well with 2 & 3], so we're all waiting on pins & needles. he said it was something like B's truck, but with the sides ripped off [??!!]

what's that line?

the other day Z asked me "what's that line on your face?" as he points to the vertical line between my eyebrows

me - that's a wrinkle because mommy's getting older now & i make this face a lot [as i squish my eyebrows together]

Z - oh, because you're mad all the time [nice...]

me - no, i make that face a lot because i'm thinking about something, trying to figure it out, or i'm confused...or...um....yeah....because i'm mad [fine, the 7yo wins]

the reunion that wasn't

sat we headed up to OC & had sushi with the girls, it was great to catch up with them & know now we can go visit whenever.

sun was the big reunion, classes 80 thru 90, it was all communicated via FB & info was shoddy at best. it was supposed to begin at 9am but beings we went to sushi the night before & hadn't made arrangements for food beforehand, i knew we wouldn't get down there before noon.

i was right. way right.

i went to the store in the morning to pick up a few things, then came home, prepped food, showered & got all our stuff together. once we got ourselves in the car we still had to stop by another market to get the carne asade & fixings for the beach & we also picked up snack food because it was already 1pm & B & I hadn't eaten anything yet.

finally made it to the beach bay around 2. found a parking a spot in decent time & then tried to locate people. we walked to the south end of the bay then headed north towards the hilton (were told south of the hilton & that was it for location). we had just about given up when we found a group of people that looked like possible reunion folk (ie, a lot of mexicans in their late 30s early 40s).

the only person i felt somewhat comfortable approaching was a girl whom i had a class with at some point during hs, but i couldn't remember which class & she didn't remember me. awesome. she (Leslie) & her sister (Suzy) had just arrived as well & thankfully, although they didn't remember me, they hung out with us. i ended up recognizing a few other guys (Joel & Hugo) & we hung out a bit & finally decided to leave, Z wanted to get in water.

we attempted to hit mission beach but couldn't find a parking spot so instead we went up to la jolla & checked out some of the tidepools. i parked too far north so we didn't make it all the way down to the best spot, but Z got some exploring in. there were tons of people everywhere, i couldn't help but feel like we all looked like ants. we'll have to go back on a weekday & park further south next time.

from there we decided to head home but on the drive up we ended up stopping in encinitas & found a place where we could grill. we weren't right on the water but we had a great view. we cheated & snacked on rice crispy treats while B grilled, then we had carne asada tacos & chinese coleslaw as the sun went down. after eating Z went over to the park to take advantage of the last few minutes of light.

if i would have had any inclination the reunion was going better i wouldn't have hesitated to drive back down to mission & join them, but i was pretty that wasn't the case. i was kind of bummed the reunion turned out that way, but in the end we all had a nice day.

what happened to july?

posting has been light, er, none existent, sorry, been busy.
no, that's a lie, just been doing stuff & it's difficult to sit & type, especially beings i'm not even getting paid for it anymore....

B's summer class was cancelled, Z's out of school & i'm unemployed, so we're enjoying the time off & being in the city. B keeps on thinking i'm going to flip beings i'm not working, but i haven't yet. i realize his concern is real, yet he doesn't realize how much easier it is for me here (compared to the desert).

we've been hitting the community pool a lot, even bought a pass; been to the movies a few times (Harry Potter & Aliens in the Attic); located the local farmer's market & been out to the beach a few times. we've also had a few friends drop in from out of town, surprising how many desert folk have been by (the redheaded family of Z, Jeff from the beach, Greg from B's work & we haven't been here a month yet).

B & Z start school at the end of Aug & that's probably when i'll start freaking out (assuming i'm still not working); until then, i'm doing my best to enjoy this & know it's a gift. i do miss all my blogging buddies though & really need to find some time to check in with everyone!