the irony of my life

sundays are the days when i really notice the absence of my mother in my life. i normally call her randomly throughout the week for something here & there, although sometimes that doesn't happen, but the sunday phone calls almost always do.

just a few days after "the call" i was-this-close to picking up the phone to ask her something because i was making tortillas for the first time. wonder how well that would have went? uh, oops, i forgot, you're not talking to me....

i'm still angry, still hurt, still completely unaware of what i did wrong.
it's christmas.
we're finally back home after 4 years.
i have a 7 yr old child that is completely aware of her absence & i'm left to explain it.
nice.

so yeah, 2 weeks & no talk....
but, guess what?
on sunday, my dad called.

did you get that? my dad
i know weird huh?

i hadn't seen him since Uncle M's funeral last august. the last time we spoke i didn't know we were moving & when i tried to call him the # didn't work. so when we moved we lost connection, although he knows where my family is & can get in touch with them. my aunt O told me he'd visited her just after my reunion & my nana told me he'd come over when she got out of the hospital; it was just a matter of time.

he was a bit confused, started talking about how he saw me 6 months ago at the funeral [um, more like 16 months ago]. he did get the back surgery done & he's doing better except while he was recovering he contacted TB, he's still taking meds for that. then he told me he was supposed to come to SD & he was planning on stopping by but his trip was cancelled.

um wha?
haven't seen or talked to him in over a year & we ain't ever been on great terms, but he's making plans to come visit with no notice.