Friday, January 14, 2011

Z the mad scientist

[if you're want kids, or are considering having kids you shouldn't read this. if you have kids, or know you don't want kids, share in my glory]

this actually happened a few months ago, it's just taken awhile for me to get the nads to share it...

when we moved to the desert, Z had just turned 3 & was still in the early stages of putting sentences together. in case you've never lived in desert, unless it's freezing out, the cockroach population exceeds the human population. so in the mornings at ghetto house, Z would get up, come get me out of bed, then walk me around the house to show me all the dead roaches. we're classy, we sprayed, so at least they were dead.

"bug, bug, bug" he would say & point them out so i could put the evil in the trash. [i loathe roaches]

so, Z has this thing that he likes to make "bug killer", although we no longer live in the desert & don't have the roach problem [it's spiders now remember?] he still finds great enjoyment in creating it. it's completely innocuous; handsoap, shampoo, water, leaves, grass, dirt, maybe a cigarette butt, air freshner, etc. it's something he likes putting together & putting on ants or whatever's crawling around the yard.

however, we've always told him his creations are not allowed inside the house.
a simple rule right?

one day i go into his room & it stinks, i mean really, really stinks BAD. i went & opened the window, took his hamper outside to air out & took all his dirty clothes to the garage. when i went back later it still reeked like you wouldn't believe & i couldn't figure out what the heck was making it smell so awful.

i started looking around & i promise you, ALL DAY LONG you will never, ever, ever, ever, EVER guess what i found.
he's 8 remember....

i'm pretty sure you can guess from the aforemention stuffs that it was a batch of bug killer....however, this batch had a new ingredient. actually it was 2 new ingredients, can you guess now?

well, to start off slow, he'd peed in a cup, well, it was a baby food jar, so now i think you can guess what the 2nd ingredient was.

yes, it was poo.
in the baby food jar.
then there was a big log on the floor next to it under his dresser.

now THAT was awesome to find.


tell me your thoughts...