locked out of ghetto house

locked out might not be the right phrase, it wasn't on accident, it wasn't on purpose, but I was unable to get inside my house & the door was open. Let me backtrack & give you a little detail about the ghetto house…

I'm not putting down the town, I'm not putting down the neighborhood when I say "ghetto house" – I'm straight out talkin bout da house itself. For many years the house was a rental, the walls have many shotty repair jobs, the backyard is a sandlot with weeds & piles of dog poop (I don't know what L's deal is, but as soon as I clean it all up she must poop again; I guess she's claiming her yard, so there's always at least 1 fresh pile of poop in the yard).

Anyways, we've had many people tell us about our party house (seriously the avis rental chick told B "oh, I've been to lots of parties here" when she dropped him off) & we've even had a friend of a friend tell us he lost his virginity in our living room (how quaint) & about how the police would park on the street that's behind our backyard wall & shine their flashlights over the fence to look for underage drinkers!

the kitchen has a sliding glass door to the backyard & if you've been to the house, you've seen how Z has meticulously decorated the glass with hundreds of stickers & return address labels. We knew from day one the door was crap & let Z have some fun with it. The sand from the backyard has destroyed the rollers at the bottom of the door, so you have to pick it up basically to move it open or closed. Z uses the other door because he can't open/close this one.

One day last week I went in the backyard to do something & because it's freezing outside, I closed the door behind me – bad mistake…can you guess what happened…yeah, I couldn't open the fricken door to get back inside!!!!!! It was open, I could put my arm inside but I couldn't move the door! So there I am, in my own back yard, stuck. So I holler for B, but I know he's in his alternate world (ie, playing his computer game) & he's got headphones on (to tune out reality as much as possible). So I whine "BBBBB!!!!", then start thinking I'm going to have to go over to the computer room & break the window in order to get his attention so I can come inside.

But thankfully he heard me…yeah…I got to come inside where it was warm.

Being helpless sucks!