just don't want to..

I just don't want to do anything, don't want to go anywhere. I'm not sad or anything I just don't want to do anything.

Last night we were supposed to take our Christmas portraits in front of the tree. Well, let me correct that, we were supposed to do it all last week once we got the tree up & it never happened, then we were supposed to do it over the weekend, that didn't happen either, so we were supposed to do it last night, but I still didn't want to, so it still hasn't happened – nor am I upset about it….

At about 6:00 I convinced Z to play a game of "pretend to take a nap" sounds like fun huh? I curled up in bed & he organized the blankets on top of me, then he organized them again, then a little more, maybe it was five times, hopping around like a little bunny on crack…finally he settled down & he talks & talks & talks some more. The child has more energy at any given time than I ever have had in my entire life. I think we should change his middle name to Nuclear…hmm…Nuclear Reactor…Nuclear Energy…I'll have to discuss with B….

The "pretend to take a nap" game ended up being just a tease with the energetic kid so I got up & put on my jammies, yeah at 6:30, no portraits happening again.

Then Z asked what was I going to do, because I always have a list of crap I gotta do. But I didn't want to do anything so I said I was going to "turn into a pile of goo" & he questioned "your going to play with a pile of poo?" – that made me lol.

This morning was kinda gloomy, got my hopes up that it might rain. Dark, gloomy heavy rain for days would be awesome. I love the rain. I even opened up the blinds at the office, welcoming the dark clouds "come over HERE!!!" The blinds are usually closed to block out the fire balls the sun shoots out in the summer or the frozen air (not enough moisture in the air for snow) in the winter. But the clouds aren't coming this way, they're dissipating & the darned sun is coming out.

Thank goodness I don't have anything to do here at work really. If someone told me I had some work to do I would probably tell them to kiss my ass, I'm done for the year.