Z & counseling

last friday i went to Z's school & requested he meet w/the school counselor. we've had quite a few issues w/him at home & i'm at my wits end with this kid. he's so different from me, SO, SO different. at the end of meeting the counselor asked "what did i want most?" to come out of their meetings. the answer, "for my child to respect my authority because if he doesn't at 6, what am i going to do when he's 16?"
he met with Z that afternoon & when i quizzed Z about it he only said they talked about family.

on monday evening Z had another melt down so on tuesday i called the counselor to let him know about it. he said he would call Z in that day & we talked some. he told me in Z's view, i'm at the bottom of the totem pole so it doesn't bother him to yell at me because i'm beneath him. then he asked me if i thought Z respected me, he asked with trepidation, it's a harsh question i know, but i told him honestly i wasn't sure.
tues afternoon i probed Z about meeting the counselor; he said they discussed treating others the way we want to be treated.

last night we had a bit of a battle again, lying over brushing his teeth, he still argued back a few times, ended up in the corner for 15 minutes & was threatened with a belt spanking (by B, because mine aren't hard enough (Z's words)).
when all was said & done i asked him why doesn'the just listen to me? why does he have to argue? why do we have to threaten a spanking? why can't he do what's asked of him & everyone be happy?

being a parent is way harder than i thought it would be & my mom, she got off SO easy...B's mom on the other hand is probably going straight to heaven after raising those 2 boys.