wake & funeral

the wake started at 6 & i had hoped to be there before it started, but that's not the way it worked out. when we arrived the parking lot was full & the sermon had already started. we walked in to a full house, people sitting in the waiting room even. i signed the guest book & looked for my family but didn't see them.

we went down the hall to a side room & sat for the sermon. when it finished i got up & found my aunt A. i went & asked her where the rest of the family was because i had forgotten about the little room in front for the family. i went back there & found everyone.
you know, even when you know death is coming, there's no way to be prepared for the loss, it hurts just as much.

my aunt O's words "me dejaste, me dejaste" (he left me) cut deep.

the next morning was a viewing, but i couldn't go. the last time i saw my uncle was in the hospital & even then, he was not the uncle i remember. he will always be the big strong man from my teenage years.

my mom arrived w/my aunt & family from the mortuary to the church, Z was happy to see her. the church part was kind of hard to get through, lots of tears from everyone. i should have gone up & said a few words, but i couldn't.

the finaly goodbye at the cemetery was even harder. cousin S read a goodbye letter to her father & cousin M broke down like i've never heard him.
my Uncle M was a very good man, they were lucky to have such a good father.