locked out might not be the right phrase, it wasn't on accident, it wasn't on purpose, but I was unable to get inside my house & the door was open. Let me backtrack & give you a little detail about the ghetto house…
I'm not putting down the town, I'm not putting down the neighborhood when I say "ghetto house" – I'm straight out talkin bout da house itself. For many years the house was a rental, the walls have many shotty repair jobs, the backyard is a sandlot with weeds & piles of dog poop (I don't know what L's deal is, but as soon as I clean it all up she must poop again; I guess she's claiming her yard, so there's always at least 1 fresh pile of poop in the yard).
Anyways, we've had many people tell us about our party house (seriously the avis rental chick told B "oh, I've been to lots of parties here" when she dropped him off) & we've even had a friend of a friend tell us he lost his virginity in our living room (how quaint) & about how the police would park on the street that's behind our backyard wall & shine their flashlights over the fence to look for underage drinkers!
the kitchen has a sliding glass door to the backyard & if you've been to the house, you've seen how Z has meticulously decorated the glass with hundreds of stickers & return address labels. We knew from day one the door was crap & let Z have some fun with it. The sand from the backyard has destroyed the rollers at the bottom of the door, so you have to pick it up basically to move it open or closed. Z uses the other door because he can't open/close this one.
One day last week I went in the backyard to do something & because it's freezing outside, I closed the door behind me – bad mistake…can you guess what happened…yeah, I couldn't open the fricken door to get back inside!!!!!! It was open, I could put my arm inside but I couldn't move the door! So there I am, in my own back yard, stuck. So I holler for B, but I know he's in his alternate world (ie, playing his computer game) & he's got headphones on (to tune out reality as much as possible). So I whine "BBBBB!!!!", then start thinking I'm going to have to go over to the computer room & break the window in order to get his attention so I can come inside.
But thankfully he heard me…yeah…I got to come inside where it was warm.
Being helpless sucks!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
weekend wrap up
we made it down to town, but didn't get portraits taken
i've officially California-ized B, he eats (& likes) real sushi (see Sho's Garlic Salmon bowl entry below) & on Saturday he bought his 1st pair of Vans. i hate to admit it, but he didn't even KNOW what Vans were until his late 20s, a shame, i know...but i love him & it only took me like 10 years to convert him.
A Z story: out of nowhere Z says that Lady is an adult. i explained to him that L is actually younger than he is, we got her when we moved to the house here, she's almost 2 years old & that he is 5. he said "but she has brown eyes, so she's an adult" - obviously there's no disputing that logic.
One more for Z: lately he's been saying "Chaa" just a funny little sound, so as we were shopping we were "Chaa"-ing back & forth, then he calls me "ChaaChaaMomma"
i've officially California-ized B, he eats (& likes) real sushi (see Sho's Garlic Salmon bowl entry below) & on Saturday he bought his 1st pair of Vans. i hate to admit it, but he didn't even KNOW what Vans were until his late 20s, a shame, i know...but i love him & it only took me like 10 years to convert him.
A Z story: out of nowhere Z says that Lady is an adult. i explained to him that L is actually younger than he is, we got her when we moved to the house here, she's almost 2 years old & that he is 5. he said "but she has brown eyes, so she's an adult" - obviously there's no disputing that logic.
One more for Z: lately he's been saying "Chaa" just a funny little sound, so as we were shopping we were "Chaa"-ing back & forth, then he calls me "ChaaChaaMomma"
Sunday, December 9, 2007
yeah, the time is near
I can tell…normally I don't even care for sweet stuff, just isn't my thing, but lately I've noticed the cravings getting worse & worse. Now I'm like a crack addict looking to score my next hit & when I get it, boy is that sugar high GOOD!
PMS isn't easy…
We picked up some danish at costco, you know cheese filled danish. On Sunday morning B brought out a plate for everyone for breakfast, but it was just too early for me. Z didn't like the cheese (not sure he's mine after all) so B took his leftovers. Then I hollered at B "PUT THE CHEESE DOWN" he knew it was a life threatening situation, so he listened (smart man). He doesn't know how lucky he is that I haven't eaten the cheese centers out of the entire tray & just left the bread behind! i'm exercising a ton of self control here...
PMS isn't easy…
We picked up some danish at costco, you know cheese filled danish. On Sunday morning B brought out a plate for everyone for breakfast, but it was just too early for me. Z didn't like the cheese (not sure he's mine after all) so B took his leftovers. Then I hollered at B "PUT THE CHEESE DOWN" he knew it was a life threatening situation, so he listened (smart man). He doesn't know how lucky he is that I haven't eaten the cheese centers out of the entire tray & just left the bread behind! i'm exercising a ton of self control here...
Friday, December 7, 2007
list for B
B's been down in SD this week, so before he left i gave him a list of places to go & things to pick up:
Henry's/Boney's/Trader Joe's - whatever, just one of those stores for dried apricots & cranberries, pine nuts & raw almonds
Fish store - our fish tank has hit a low, we only have 2 fish, 1 shrimp, a couple of hermit crabs & 3 snails. the snails are predators, i'm glad they can't escape the tank. i used to think they were really cool because they have like a probiscus thing & when they go under the sand they shoot that up & can basically smell when i put food in the tank & come out to eat. when our last fish died not only did these snails feast on him (i know, that's what they are supposed to do) but they violated the fish with their probiscus. it was a quite a lesson in the circle of life for Z, i was scarred by it. for days Z kept on asking me to put the dead fish back in the tank so he could watch them eat!
butcher shop - to pick up some good steaks
we'll see what he comes home with...
UPDATE - work got in the way of personal shopping, B made it to the fish store, but their supplies were limited. he also made it to the butcher shop, however the steaks were $17/lb!!! no steak for momma, darn it....
Henry's/Boney's/Trader Joe's - whatever, just one of those stores for dried apricots & cranberries, pine nuts & raw almonds
Fish store - our fish tank has hit a low, we only have 2 fish, 1 shrimp, a couple of hermit crabs & 3 snails. the snails are predators, i'm glad they can't escape the tank. i used to think they were really cool because they have like a probiscus thing & when they go under the sand they shoot that up & can basically smell when i put food in the tank & come out to eat. when our last fish died not only did these snails feast on him (i know, that's what they are supposed to do) but they violated the fish with their probiscus. it was a quite a lesson in the circle of life for Z, i was scarred by it. for days Z kept on asking me to put the dead fish back in the tank so he could watch them eat!
butcher shop - to pick up some good steaks
we'll see what he comes home with...
UPDATE - work got in the way of personal shopping, B made it to the fish store, but their supplies were limited. he also made it to the butcher shop, however the steaks were $17/lb!!! no steak for momma, darn it....
Daily Tantrum
instead of doing a daily photo entry, i'm thinking about making a daily tantrum entry, so everyone can enjoy the perplexities of my life...
this morning started out well, then as i was blow drying my hair & the antsy dog was trying to figure out what she was supposed to be doing (she loves being inside but has no idea what she's supposed to do, so she's constantly walking around on checking everyone making sure they're doing whatever they're supposed to be doing) & her anxiety bothers me so i hollered at her to "go lay down like a normal dog" as the blow dryer is going & as soon as i stop talking i hear noise. screaming, shouting, ear piercing, stream of noise from Z's room. absolutely, completey incoherent, but could tell by the tone it wasn't pain, it was pissed off. thankfully the blow dryer was so close to my head otherwise my ears probably would have been bleeding.
i go ask Z what caused his outburst & explain to him whatever it was that he said i didn't hear because i had the blow dryer on & the voice he used was in a tone too high for humans to comprehend. instead of repeating what he said he hollered back at me "you did understand! you did understand!" so i walked away.
then he walked back into my bedroom & announced that he was going to take his darth vador toy to school (which i have told him repeatedly ain't gonna happen). he started to argue with me so i sent him to the corner for a few minutes.
when he came out of the corner he continued to argue with me about something else so i sent him back to the corner & when he threw a tantrum about it i told him the longer he took to get to that corner the longer he would be in the corner & started counting! at about 6 he started to run
after his 2nd round of corner time before 7:30am his demeanor changed. we'll see how he is at the end of the day.
this morning started out well, then as i was blow drying my hair & the antsy dog was trying to figure out what she was supposed to be doing (she loves being inside but has no idea what she's supposed to do, so she's constantly walking around on checking everyone making sure they're doing whatever they're supposed to be doing) & her anxiety bothers me so i hollered at her to "go lay down like a normal dog" as the blow dryer is going & as soon as i stop talking i hear noise. screaming, shouting, ear piercing, stream of noise from Z's room. absolutely, completey incoherent, but could tell by the tone it wasn't pain, it was pissed off. thankfully the blow dryer was so close to my head otherwise my ears probably would have been bleeding.
i go ask Z what caused his outburst & explain to him whatever it was that he said i didn't hear because i had the blow dryer on & the voice he used was in a tone too high for humans to comprehend. instead of repeating what he said he hollered back at me "you did understand! you did understand!" so i walked away.
then he walked back into my bedroom & announced that he was going to take his darth vador toy to school (which i have told him repeatedly ain't gonna happen). he started to argue with me so i sent him to the corner for a few minutes.
when he came out of the corner he continued to argue with me about something else so i sent him back to the corner & when he threw a tantrum about it i told him the longer he took to get to that corner the longer he would be in the corner & started counting! at about 6 he started to run
after his 2nd round of corner time before 7:30am his demeanor changed. we'll see how he is at the end of the day.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
oh the horror
this morning Z threw a fit because his blue eyes looked green - to have such problems!
oh, today was my last scheduled counseling session. i'm thrilled to announce we both agreed things have been going so well that it is no longer needed - hear that??? it's a sigh of relief!!!
oh, today was my last scheduled counseling session. i'm thrilled to announce we both agreed things have been going so well that it is no longer needed - hear that??? it's a sigh of relief!!!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
trying to help
because we've been on the go quite a bit lately we spent this past weekend cleaning up the house. yeah – we, B helped, or tried to help…
he chose to sweep/mop & do bathrooms. so I gathered all the bathroom cleaning gear & explained to him the powder & brush were for the tub, use the funny spout thing & toilet brush for the toilet, use the spray stuff & the sponge on the counter & sink.
he starting sweeping while i worked on the fish tank. i had to go out to the garage for something & inadvertently found my missing turkey baster in one of his tool boxes. you know the missing turkey baster that no one knows where it's at. so i walked to the bathroom to ask him about said turkey baster & find him with his hands in the toilet. no gloves, using Z's tub brush.
all concerns about the turkey baster were gone & he knew from the look on my face whatever i came there for originally, no longer matter. i tried to cover it up, I tried to talk about the turkey baster, but he knew that i was on a higher level about something. So trying not to spin i asked as calmly as i could "why aren't you using the toilet brush?" & he simply says "oh, I forgot" but it's RIGHT THERE & NOW YOU HAVE YOUR HAND IN A TOILET!!!!! i don't care that it's our toilet & that I cleaned it last weekend, it's still a toilet! i would have to have a full body hazmat suit along with a face mask to stick my hand in a toilet, yes, even my own toilet.
- on the walmart list a new tub brush
then later in the day, he's preparing the tenderloin for dinner & i see he's taken it out of the package & it's laying in the kitchen sink. that would be the same sink the earlier in the day i used to dispose of water from the fish tank & other things but had not had the chance to spray with bleach yet.
i tell him he shouldn't have the meat sitting in there, so what does he do? he takes it out & puts it on the counter. no plate, no pan, no cling wrap, no foil, just there on the counter. the next time i walk in the kitchen it's on the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen. i'm sure he also rolled it on the floor a few times & maybe used it somewhere along the line while he was cleaning the bathroom…
he chose to sweep/mop & do bathrooms. so I gathered all the bathroom cleaning gear & explained to him the powder & brush were for the tub, use the funny spout thing & toilet brush for the toilet, use the spray stuff & the sponge on the counter & sink.
he starting sweeping while i worked on the fish tank. i had to go out to the garage for something & inadvertently found my missing turkey baster in one of his tool boxes. you know the missing turkey baster that no one knows where it's at. so i walked to the bathroom to ask him about said turkey baster & find him with his hands in the toilet. no gloves, using Z's tub brush.
all concerns about the turkey baster were gone & he knew from the look on my face whatever i came there for originally, no longer matter. i tried to cover it up, I tried to talk about the turkey baster, but he knew that i was on a higher level about something. So trying not to spin i asked as calmly as i could "why aren't you using the toilet brush?" & he simply says "oh, I forgot" but it's RIGHT THERE & NOW YOU HAVE YOUR HAND IN A TOILET!!!!! i don't care that it's our toilet & that I cleaned it last weekend, it's still a toilet! i would have to have a full body hazmat suit along with a face mask to stick my hand in a toilet, yes, even my own toilet.
- on the walmart list a new tub brush
then later in the day, he's preparing the tenderloin for dinner & i see he's taken it out of the package & it's laying in the kitchen sink. that would be the same sink the earlier in the day i used to dispose of water from the fish tank & other things but had not had the chance to spray with bleach yet.
i tell him he shouldn't have the meat sitting in there, so what does he do? he takes it out & puts it on the counter. no plate, no pan, no cling wrap, no foil, just there on the counter. the next time i walk in the kitchen it's on the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen. i'm sure he also rolled it on the floor a few times & maybe used it somewhere along the line while he was cleaning the bathroom…
Monday, December 3, 2007
flex Fridays
i'm so going to miss flex Fridays whenever it is that we do move away from here. not only is it a 3 day weekend, more importantly it's a school day for Z! don't get me wrong, i know it sounds rather heartless, but IT'S A FREE DAY, sometimes even B has to work & i get a day of ME time. not that it's an exciting day...usually involves things like a bath so hot it turns my skin red, gorging on martha stewart & home & garden magazines, a facial, plucking my eyebrows (not just the thick ones growing halfway down my eyelid!), maybe even a mani/pedicure.
so on friday, B does me the favor of taking Z to school so i can stay in bed & when Z comes to kiss me before leaving for the day he says "are you going to stay in this bed ALL DAY LONG?" it was only 7:45am, it's not like it was noon & that attitude...hello???...don't i deserve a bit of a break
i was taken aback by the question, so it took me a minute to think of a response because a simple "no" wouldn't suffice, so i explained "in a little while i'm going to get up & lay on the sofa for the rest of the day". he didn't have a response for that.
it rained that day, dark & gloomy, loved it. i did get out of bed so i could lounge on the sofa & enjoy the rain. we had a quiet weekend. Z laughed a lot.
so on friday, B does me the favor of taking Z to school so i can stay in bed & when Z comes to kiss me before leaving for the day he says "are you going to stay in this bed ALL DAY LONG?" it was only 7:45am, it's not like it was noon & that attitude...hello???...don't i deserve a bit of a break
i was taken aback by the question, so it took me a minute to think of a response because a simple "no" wouldn't suffice, so i explained "in a little while i'm going to get up & lay on the sofa for the rest of the day". he didn't have a response for that.
it rained that day, dark & gloomy, loved it. i did get out of bed so i could lounge on the sofa & enjoy the rain. we had a quiet weekend. Z laughed a lot.
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