anti-depressant...NOT

The counselor suggested I try an anti-depressant to help my outlook on things.
I wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, in the contest of who's unhappier here I'm not sure I'm in the lead but I was willing to try anything that might help us. The MD that gave me the prescription warned me that the 1st week things would be really weird as my body adjusted to the medication, that I might lose a little water weight & that if I smoked I would probably lose the craving.

The first few days were more than weird, I was a zombie. It was like my brain wasn't working, it was empty of thought, I was barely able to speak. I could answer a question but I couldn't hold up my end of a conversation because I couldn't think of anything to say. B & I went out for dinner & joked about how I either was going to start drooling or my head was going to fall in my plate. I should have recognized this was a bad match right away but I was determined to give it a fair shot & continued taking the pills.

I was also sleeping less, only 2 to 3 hours a night but felt fine; which is unusual for me because I prefer to sleep 9 or 10 hours. I also noticed my stomach was feeling strange so I was eating light foods. On the 10th day of taking the medication I checked in with the MD & she gave me a lower dose of the medication. I had lost 4 lbs in those 10 days.

By that afternoon I realized food disgusted me. The smell, taste and texture was vile. I had spent the last few days on liquids. I could hear my stomach growling for food but felt no hunger pains. I tried to force myself to eat & although the first couple of bites brought relief to my stomach I began to gag on the food; repulsed by it, the back of my mind thinking how gross it was. I was so weak from barely eating & sleeping I could hardly stand. I did not take another pill after that.

A few months later I visited the MD for something else & she asked how things were going with the anti-depressant & I told her I stopped taking them because they had made me anorexic. She replied with "oh, you had a depressed appetite?" Ummm, it was a little more than that…