i lost my funny

normally even if i'm not posting i've got a few ideas puttering around in my head, forming, taking shape, evolving into something but lately that hasn't been the case. & although i never guaranteed only funnies around here, this place has been pretty sad for some time.

when we lived in the desert i wanted to come home so badly & here we are & life has been so rough the past few years. not that i'm not thankful to be home, i am thankful, so, SO thankful i can not even begin to tell you bc i can't imagine how i would have handled the past year from up there.

[well, minus some of my mother's antics, those probably wouldn't have happened.]

nana's gone & i miss her terribly. after the camping trip & going to chicago once we were home & laundry was going my next thought was i needed to go visit her. whenever i see a piece of clothing in purple i wonder if it's something nana would like. & when my hair turns orange, i think about how she's not here to tell me i need to fix that shit....

tomorrow is Z's appt, it was the first available appt, over a month later. in a way i think it's best though; school is out & although the nana factor is there i feel normal & can talk to people again. i talked with Z & explained to him what the dr appt is about, he doesn't want to go or to talk about his behavior.