how that dr appt went

remember on our way to nana's funeral we stopped off at the dr's office to drop off Z's add/adhd eval? way to start out a trip for a funeral huh?

this was the first available appt & when i made it, B didn't have his school schedule. once it came out we realized he wouldn't be able to go with us & we didn't want to re-schedule beings it took over a month to get the original appt.

you don't even get an appt apparently unless they're going to tell you - yes, your child is add/adhd.

Z was sent to a different room for testing, while the dr & i talked. i explained to him although it's been ongoing, Z's behavior is different at home & it also seems to vary on the teacher's environment. we discussed Z's history, the behavior issues, etc.

then we moved on to info about B & I when he asked "who has it?"

i told him i thought we both exhibited characteristics in different ways, but that he seemed to take after B more than me. i also made sure he knew neither of us were ever formally diagnosed, had not taken any meds for it & learned to handle it; that if we were capable, our child could possibly as well.

he asked about our work environment & educational background. i told him i did office work & sat at a computer all day, that i'm best when i'm multi-tasking & that i had my BS degree. he agreed that i had learned to make the best of my fidgetiness.

when i told him B had several AA degrees, the man pounced - SEE his inability to follow though, THAT'S a definite sign. i tried to explain B got those AA's while going to school at night & that he had been in the USMC for 20 years & was now going to college for nursing.

everything i said validated his point....B was able to stay in USMC for 20yrs bc of the structure, bc he moved around, the nursing was also an add/adhd flag.

he explained that although there was no actual test for add/adhd, that it's all based on opinion, Z is & the only reason he's was making it now is bc he is very intelligent but if we don't medicate by about 5th grade or middle school, he will be failing school & bring home all Fs.

i asked about alternatives to medicate - counseling, behavior modification, parenting classes, natural therapies.

he said add/adhd is a chemical imbalance that no amount of counseling or bm can have any affect, those are used for depression. he said the parenting classes may some, but not much & that hippie shit was dangerous (cuz uppers & opium derivatives are totally good for you...).

one thing that really stuck with me was he said "if you want him to grow up to be a fireman or a forester than he will be fine but if you want him to grow up to be an accountant, he needs the medication"

WHAT?

what does 'what i want my child to grow up to be' have anything to do with giving him medication? if there is something wrong with Z i have no problems meding him, but when it comes to a f-ing job description????

i told the dr "right now he wants to be a vet & i'm completely happy with that, but he is only 9..."

as you can tell, the dr & i were not on the same page; i was not the parent he expected & he was just looking to write a prescription - wha-la i fixed your kid!

i told him the reason i was there was bc i was tired of getting phones calls from school & i was concerned about Z making friends.

the dr recommended either charter schools or home schooling. the friend thing, that's the tough one; in his opinion Z's impulsiveness is standing in the way of making friends.

now THAT is something that i will take into consideration.

we have a follow-up appt next week so he can give us the results of Z's IQ test. i dont' really see the point, seems like whether it's high or low, it won't have any impact on the dr's opinion.

B & I will go, we talked about it, we could get the prescription & not give him the meds.
we will also go to another dr though.