the birthday that wasn't

during christmas break i had mentioned to Z that Grammie's birthday was coming up.  i had agonized over what to do, how to handle the situation, but yet i still wanted him to express birthday wishes to her.  so on one of trips to target he asked if he could pick out a birthday card for her.  the card he chose had some dinosaurs on the front & inside is said:

HEY REMEMBER US?

i about fell over in the aisle laughing so hard.  Z didn't understand & i needed to explain to him that although i thought the card was HILARIOUS, Grammie wouldn't like it, that really it would hurt her feelings [no matter how true it was], so he picked out a normal happy birthday card.

also during the break & before the actual birthday Z wrote a letter to Grammie.  he talked about how he missed her & how he would like to go spend the weekend with her & then he asked why she wasn't talking to us.

yeah......it gets better

it was part of a cub scout assignment & he wanted to really mail it to her.

...[no words]

there wasn't really anything i could say, so he addressed it & mail it off.

the letter was mailed before the birthday card & i waited on pins & needles for the call that i knew was inevitable.  she called one day when i wasn't feeling well & was sleeping.  when i called her back she said she was calling to speak with Z about the letter he wrote her.  although she didn't say the words, it was obvious she didn't want to speak with me.

i really, really don't get how she still wanted to continue this.  i told her we needed to talk about things.  it took some effort but then she finally let it out that she was mad about 4th of july weekend, that S "took priority" but she refused to admit the real reason was she that she was upset that Z didn't want to go spend the weekend with her.

then she went on to say that she was hurt bc i didn't go over on my birthday.  um, remember the call i got?  welcoming right?  she said she wanted me to know she was mad at me...well, gee, isn't that the BEST way to wish someone a happy birthday & invite them over for cake????

so i don't know that we really got anywhere but we did talk & then i let her talk with Z.  oh, i did tell her that Z wouldn't be going to stay with her until we worked things out [including B] & that she needed to ask us before asking him over.  that's mainly bc she doesn't take our schedule, his cub scout activities or when he's on restriction into any consideration & we have to drop off & pick up on her schedule.

she talked with Z for a bit & when he brought me the phone he was saying "ok, i'll check with my mom if i can go stay with you next weekend".....so what, 12 seconds later she's doing it again?

her birthday was a few days later.  i called her & wished her a happy birthday & we talked for a few minutes, then i let Z talk with her.