Lost but Found

The other day I decided to make some ciabatta bread. I looked in my recipe box, wasn't there; checked computer bookmarks, not there either; then in a back corner of my cobweb filled brain I remembered.

I used to have it together. There was a time when things were put in there place. That place was my blog.

I looked & yes, the post, the crumb & recipe were easily located. More importantly, I ached for how much I miss writing, documenting the craziness of life, my blog world of friends (real & imaginary).

My last post was in March, that's a lot of catching up to, it's been a long, rough year. Time passes no matter what though. I've spent the past few days working on posting from my phone. I don't know that I can do back links & other cool stuff, but I'm going to make a real effort to do this. It was good for me, made me happy, helped me see & get over the not so easy parts of life.

Missing you,
Me

getting older

this actually happened a few months ago, that fact it gets posted right after talking about THE 40 is just coincidence...

this is how you know you've reached "a certain age" bc otherwise certain thoughts never would enter your mind, case in point:

so i was in the shower & i noticed something off-white on the floor. i can't see without my glasses & simply assumed it was shampoo/conditioner/ body wash (bc all those things make perfect sense). i used my foot to slosh some water over it but it didn't dissolve, didn't really make much of an impact at all. the mass, if you will, was more solid than i anticipated, so then the thought process began...

[yes, i was alone, so don't think it was that!]

i hadn't coughed
or sneezed
or had any other voluntary
or involuntary muscle contractions;

so that meant something fell out of my body
& i didn't even realize it.

slight panic!

then i bent down & discovered it was just a piece of sponge.

i was mentally scarred from traveling that path though.

old roomies

this is the year of 39 for us, seems weird to be that age. i don't feel that old, but it's hard to think of yourself as all that young when people your age have multiple grandkids.

i headed down to the valley to meet the girls, my sisters, well at least 2 of them, the 3rd is far away. i took care of some things [which i'll discuss here] then went over to visit M & baby. it was already about 1pm so they were resting from the morning festivities that i had missed. M & I had quite a bit of catching up to do, i haven't been able to email much & the blog doesn't get updated as much as it should & even when it is, it's not what it used to be....i never promised this place to be all fun, but i tried to keep it light until things got too heavy to bare.

baby is in my favorite stage, running around babbling & into everything, she wasn't even cranky when she was tired. we talked & she adventured, before we knew it she past out in bed for her nap. then the birthday girl (S) showed up as i was heading out to run an errand. when i returned baby was waking up & birthday girl was primping & blowing up balloons.

we headed over to S's grandma's house where her family was all waiting for her. even though it's her grandma's house, it's funny how they all have that feel of comfort & warmth. we hung out in the backyard & listened to music, that's valley style. we told stories & we laughed, no tequila shots & no dancing on speakers...maybe at our next get together?

you know you're good friends when the time span from your last talk/email/whatever doesn't matter, you start talking like you're in the middle of conversation bc that's what it is, it started sometime ago & simply continues.

the flying tick story

at nana's house we also checked on her dog. although she had recently been dipped we could tell she had a couple of large ticks on her.

if you've never lived in the desert, um ticks are not normal there, they are texas size. it's quite disgusting.

so, yup, the doggy had a couple of fat ticks on her that you could see her black hair wasn't laying properly bc something was in there. i pulled off a couple of the them, but she didn't like that so she walked away from me.

i left her alone & just talked to her from a distance & slowly she returned & i decided it was best just to pet her. so i'm talking to her & stroking her with my hands on either side of her until i notice stuff flying in the air.

at first i thought it was just clumps of hair, maybe even skin, but then i notice little brown ticks moving to the edge of her fur.

YES!

the flying things were ticks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAH!

i was petting her & giving them wings to fly!

needless to say i made some awful screaming noise & totally scared ME & she was all "what?what?what?" & i had to tell her i was being attacked by flying ticks, to which she had the gall to laugh at me!

so a bit later we were walking around the backyard & i kept on stepping on little sticks & things that would kick back up & touch the back of my leg & force me to scream again...

holy crap what a day

i owe you this one

i've lost the battle with the virus; the laptop will be terminated & hopefully will rise from the dead soon.

that along with my dad's issues & mom's surgery (she's good, i need to write about that too) life's been WAY TOO BUSY!

so here's a little story from a few years ago that i thought i had mentioned before, but i couldn't find anything to backlink it to.

back when we were living in ghetto house we had a party one night. i don't remember the occasion, but a few of B's coworkers came by & we sat out in the back yard & ate & drank. a couple of the friends are lesbians, not that there's anything wrong with that, but it is pertinent to the scene.

early on, one of the women told me i was really pretty. i thanked her & didn't really think much of it, it was a nice compliment.

then as the evening went on she was saying to B "can i borrow her?"
it was funny, sweet.
hahaha
right?

shift to end of the night & only a few people are left & we're huddled in little group. i don't remember if i was talking to her or if she just walked up out of the blue but the next thing i knew was her hand was on my boob.

& she wasn't letting go.

it wasn't a honk.
it wasn't a quick feel.
not a caress.
not a joke.
total sincerity.

the woman had latched on for dear life.
to my left boob.

i was in shock.
first of all, my boobs have never, EVER been, well, you know, an attraction. next, there was a hand on my boob & it wasn't B's! it wasn't even another man's hand!

i couldn't do or say anything, so i just stood there completely silent in shock with a woman attached to my boob. so i looked over at B & he looked at me & i'm sure my face said something bc he looked down to see why i was paralyzed & yelled out:
"hey everybody LOOK"

& then i died.
but first i removed the hand.
then i proceeded to verbally annihilate B for not defending poor lil me! from a woman who is even smaller than i am. [a detail B thought i should mention - whatever!]

you know he's past due right?

it's been months since Z's had any official trouble at school. yeah, a week or 2 ago his teacher did talk to me about him razzing the girls in class, but nothing big. no calls from the principal.

until today.
yep.

today's lunch was shrimp poppers & after lunch, Z went around chasing a little girl. yeah, i know that doesn't really sound like much, until you hear about how she's highly allergic to shellfish & was completely traumatized by dirty shrimp hands.

that sounds awful, i'm not mocking her in any way at all.

but dang, if my kid doesn't figure out the weirdest ways of getting himself in trouble.

UPDATED to add: i got the note from school, it's only his SECOND referral [yeah, it is a silver lining]

B's cat story - pt II

one day B realizes the dead cat in a bag needed to go back to school. he tells me that the lab isn't open 1st thing in the morning & asks me to bring it by later in the day for him.

YAHH, the skinlessreekingofformaldehydedeadcatinabag is leaving!!! i just have to take it to him.

wait!
what?

to make it even better, B wouldn't be ready for me to deliver the dead cat in a bag until after Z was home from school, so he had to participate in the fun as well. at least Z had seen it, was aware of it, knew it was in the garage & was also happy to get it out of the garage.

so i get the kid in the car, then go get the skinlessreekingofformaldehydedeadcatinabag out of the garage, put it next to him in the backseat & ask him to hold the pan so it doesn't fall, slide or move around anywhere.

Z - but momma, it stinks
me - i know honey, don't touch it, i'll open the windows
Z - but momma, it's ugly
me - i know, don't look at it, just hold on to the edge of the pan

thankfully school is just around the corner & we got that thing delivered. intact with no casualties.

B's cat story - pt I

things are getting a little too serious around here, the other day I told cousin C about B's cat story & remembered this is what this blog is all about, so here is:

B's taking anatomy & microbiology. yeah....with labs, you know...
he started the semester with spanish dos too...which was promptly dropped. his teacher was a handful & a mess, so i didn't blame him one bit.
then as he got into the semester, it was evident that was a good call as the science classes took everything he had...& trust me, the man was not used to having such demands put on him; he's a marine, but STILL!

so his anatomy class isn't just a plain ole regular one, it's pre-med & although it's a 100 level class, they have "steve" [yup, a cadaver]. i partially wanted to go to class with him that day just so his teacher would say "are you in my class?" & i could say "i am today" just like spicoli. [it's the little things that make me happy]

anywho, the story, about the cat...
they dissected a cat in class & bc of steve the school lab had to be locked up over spring break, so the teacher said they could take their cats home. thankfully B gave me a warning before just bringing the skinlessreekingofformaldehydedeadcatinabag home & he prepared an area in the garage for it.

away from the door.
away from the washing machine & dryer.
away.
i don't want nothing to do with it.
i want it as far away as it can be from anywhere that i need to be.

i'll tell you now, the cat was here longer than a week. i'm not sure how many weeks it was here, i just know i stayed away from that side of the garage. until i forgot about it & i needed something out of the toolbox & i walked past the singer. more importantly, i walked past the cat in a bag on the sewing machine.

my classy questioning to husband - "wtf is your cat doing on nana's sewing machine? why did you put it there? didn't you clean off space on the counter on the other side of the room for it?" [no, i don't think any breaths were taken in between any of the questions]

B's response - it's on a cookie sheet

yes, yes it was on a cookie sheet, a very nice cookie sheet. so nice that if it didn't hold a skinlessreekingofformaldehydedeadcatinabag i might be scheming on how i could manage to keep that cookie sheet.

but it did.
& it was on nana's sewing machine.

so he moved it to the space he prepared, that was only 4 feet away, GAH!

trojan free

in the quamire of last week's chaos i managed to get a trojan on the laptop....excellent....i noticed IE was slow to load so i tried deleting all the history, cleaning up the drive, etc to no avail.

spybot found the trojan, but couldn't kill it, it was night of the living trojan....kept on coming back & started re-constituting files that had been deleted (from the recycle bin) months ago. i do thank spybot though, at least i knew what i was dealing with....

after some searching i located malwarebytes, the first run found 3 problems. it didn't list them out, but they were removed & so far the laptop has been virus free for over 24 hours, sweet. thank you malwarebytes!

now, back to regular posting.

dooce's book

thanks to maya, i started reading dooce.com a few years ago & a few months ago maya let me borrow HBA's book "it sucked & then i cried". i was really busy & had a valid excuse for not starting it back in july, but the past few months have just flown by & i realized i still had not started it, although i have about 5 other things i'm reading at the same time & picked up some more books at the library on sunday.....i can't help myself.

oh, yeah & the on & off cold i've been battling for the past 3 weeks...it's kicking my butt today. i had a lovely [fyi, that's dripping with sarcasm] cup of theraflu & was down for a great nap until a stupid fly kept on buzzing around my face. i'm tired & i don't make any sense...

so the book, i just finished reading chapter 5, leta was just born. i can SO relate to HBA's miserable pregnancy, her story brought back so many memories. i really do wish i knew of blogging at that time, the outlet would have been nice...so although i hinted to it before, i decided to get it all down on paper on blog & over the next few days i'm going to write my pregnancy story.

a nobel headache

wow...you know i'm not one to get all politic-y...it's just not my bag...but i really, really can't believe obama has been awarded a nobel peace prize....

for WHAT?
great walk & talk, but how about we wait for some quantifiable results?

it's not that i dislike him, i'm just a little skeptical & the world treats him like he's the 2nd coming of christ & it freaks me out.

bandwagons, i don't jump on them....i watch them with a discerning eye.

another reason why i shouldn't drive automatic

B's out of town so i decided to take his truck in to be washed. i've gotten pretty good at driving his truck & even remember to put it in park [most of the time], only occasionally look for the clutch when i stop or attempt to put it in 2nd when i go around a corner. see, i'm getting comfortable!

however, the guys at the carwash threw me a curveball [damn them!].

Z & I leave the car wash & are a little ways down the street when the red "BRAKE" light starts flashing. i know i'm not pressing the brakes, so it must mean the emergency brake only i don't know where that thing is.

i know where it's at on a automatic car, but this is a truck & it's set up differently.

so i kinda panic, but then i see the extra pedal at the floorboard - AHA!

before it was only slightly engaged & that's why i was able to go, now it was fully engaged & i'm at a DEAD stop in the middle of the flipping street.

full panic because i can't fricken move, only saving grace was that i chose a side street not the main drag, so there were only a couple of cars behind me.

then i finally saw the release lever & we were free!

fancy automatics are so confusing to me...

one more trip to medical

before i headed out to the dr's office i foolishly attempted to use the office bathroom. i know i shouldn't even bother walking down the hall, it's more exercise than an actual attempt to empty my bladder; with that being said, no surprise that it was occupado. so i tell co-worker i'm out for my appt & hopefully get to pee at the dr's office. as i'm saying this i'm opening the door to our office & there's a guy walking past that heard every.single.word.i said.
[yes, i did turn a few shades of scarlet. i am one classy chick.]

although january test results came back normal, my primary dr wanted to do a 6 mo check up beings the nov one wasn't normal. better safe than sorry right, so back i went.

Dear Cervix, this is my 3rd visit in 8 months, you've had more than enough attention lately, can we be done with this?

to add to all the fun, handsome was there.
which was nice, you know, to start off with
[eye candy = good]
then he escorted me to the examination room
[entering shaky ground as the room is prepped for a female examination]
then he has to enter my info ON THE SAMPLE CUP
[awesome, can i crawl under a chair?]
on which he tells me he accidentally spells my name with a 'f' because his girlfriend has the same name only she spells it with an 'f'
[can i see your tattoo with my name on it only it's spelled wrong?]

obsessed

have you seen that show obsessed?
i don't watch a lot of tv, not even sure i knew the show existed, but last night the tv was on whatever channel B had left it on watching intervention & after that was obsessed. i was about to go to bed, but had to watch.
it was about scott the germ-a-phobe.

in the intro he talked about how he slept on the sofa because he didn't want sleep on his bed & have to make it every morning because he couldn't leave the bed unmade - whatever, the only time our bed is made is sunday when i change sheets, or we're expecting company, & it depends on who that company is...

then he told us he didn't have any trash cans in the house because he took every single piece of trash to the can outside - ok, that's kinda extreme.

then he talked about hand washing, counting hand sanitizer, about 30 times a day - AMATEUR!!!!!!!!!!

guilty as charged

i've taken my first hit off the crackberry pipe...

on the internet popo's hit list

at work...we are watched, logged, like big-time.
a lot of sites are blocked too, which is really sad considering how much free time i have on my hands here.

as of late i've become completely addicted to FB.
SL put up some fantastic pics from hs, the wall chats have been fun, etc.
but our server can be slow.
wait.
i mean S.......L.....O......W
& sometimes because i can be little type A i will click the refresh button a gazillion times because it takes so long to load.

then it happened.
just the other day.

massive pop up window
"YOUR CERTIFICATE AUTHORIZING FB HAS BEEN REVOKED"
my name was on there too, like i got a ticket.

um, what?
abuse?
hardly...
how am i supposed to fill the time here??? hmmmm?

as of yet, my privileges haven't been fully revoked, i can log on, but now i'm scared so i'm not logging on as often & just checking in real quick, not hanging out & having a drink anymore.

don't take my FB away internet popo, i need it.
really i do, what do you expect me to be productive for 9 hours a day?
because if that's the case, you need to talk to my boss first.

ain't nothin going on but the rent

having a dry spell over here...writing people, writing...this isn't THAT kind of blog. what's funny is a LOT of the blogs i read seem to be having the same trouble.

no funniness has been going on:
B's sick with bronchitis & being a crankypants.
Z's been discussed.
me - um, been working on my resume but already talked about that. been doing all kinds of MS training; talked about that too.

completed Excel, Word & Outlook 2007 so far (that was kind of cheating though because i already kick-ass on those programs 2003). i just started Access, my nemesis (i'm sure it was created by the devil). i've taken numerous courses & it's never clicked for me; maybe this time it will, maybe my experience in business objects will help.

oh, btw devil, i guess i'll be headed your way as i ate meat 2x on fridays during lent. once was pure accident at a party (i snacked on deli meats - is that real meat? hmmm). i didn't even realize it until later when i went back to get a plate of food & B said "you can eat this, it doesn't have meat" - & i was confused. then i ate a meat burrito. the damage was already done right?

the other was a product of the situation, we went out for lunch & i planned on getting a salad, however there was only 1 salad on the menu & it highlighted fried chicken nuggets.

yeah, on a salad.

how do you pass that up once it's been proposed?

i'm so weak.

one more thing - i've become a complete facebook whore.
addicted.
totally.

that was a lie, i have another thing - i need a new fangled phone because i need to twitter. i'm twittering on FB & it's not cutting it.

contracts, rewards & pendulum swinging

i just returned from the principal's office (fyi, it's no fun as an adult either).

Z's teacher, Z's principal, B & I had a sit down. here's what we left with:

the principal has a contract out on Z, wait a minute, that wasn't right...the principal has a contract with Z (there, that's better).

beings his latest problems have occurred out on the playground during recesses, that's our focus now. at the end of each recess, he will get a sticker from his teacher if he manages to keep his hands, feet & objects (what?) to himself. so in addition to the regular classroom happy face/unhappy face, stickers for playground behavior. the principal has decided to really give the boy incentive, once he gets x amount of stickers for being good at recesses, she will give him a game.

at home, he will get some sort of little candy treat like m&m's or something for each sticker. we B decided we would go ahead & get the DS (that didn't happen at Christmas) to use gaming time as a reward for happy faces. the DS & the game will be ours, Z will only get time for good behavior.

& finally, his teacher said the past 2 days he's been fantastic in class, working hard & getting along with classmates. she told us they played a round of dodgeball where he was 1 of the 2 last players left & when the ball came at him he lunged over it. he still was hit (& cried) but everyone cheered him on & yelled about how cool his jump was.

is that shrimpy?

i went home for lunch. B had just woken up & was on the sofa (home sick) Z was in his room playing his leapster (home suspended). i ask Z if he's hungry & if so does he want soup or noodles (after saturday's puking incident i'm still precarious about his consumption).

he chose soup, so i held out chicken & stars or chicken & circle noodles. [i know all kinds of crazy options] he's looking intently at the picture on the can with the circle noodles & asks

"is that shrimpy?"

in canned soup.

i'm not even sure it was campbell's, it may have been generic grocery store brand.

after the pirate dinner i still get a lump in my throat when i think of shrimp, but canned shrimp soup...ICK.

Z update

i was hesitant to post about Z doing well in school. i wrote it, then kept it as a draft, then tempted fate & published it. you think i would know better by now, but i don't & i'm just stupid & a lot more daring than i thought because within a few hours of posting it i got a call from Z's school.

um, yeah.

come pick up your kid

yes, trouble, kicked out again.

luckily the new principal (YAH!) is one of Z's ex-preschool-girlfriend's so she has a soft spot for the boy & didn't suspend him. i like her much better than the old asshat principal he had; he's no longer principaling because he's busy city counseling.
[do you hear that brown acres? you have an asshat on city counsel? oh, that's a step up...my apologies then]

so nothing official, nothing on paper, nothing in his official file that will follow him around for the rest of his life. so far that file only has one sheet from the last time he was suspended.

Z's story is some girls forced him to play some game he didn't want to play (right), then he pushed on of them & he scratched her. to make matter worse, when he got to the office he used his mean voice when he spoke to the ladies in the office.

parenting is glorius fun.

on a positive note, when Z was writing out his spelling word sentences:
for 'father' he wrote 'my father is old'
for 'mother' he wrote 'my mother is pretty'

does the boy know his way to momma's heart? oh yeah!