How many lumps would you like with that?

I can't help but think of Bugs Bunny & the puma he wallops over the head....
on to business though...

The Saturday before Christmas we went to Knotts Berry Farm with R & crew. We ended up splitting into groups, the rollercoaster riders & the sissy-la-las. You know I'm in the latter group right? I like to say it's bc of my neck/back/migraine issues which IS true however even if it wasn't, I truly am a big sissy & would most likely puke all over everyone. i'm fun like that.

Z & I spent a good portion of our time (& all of his $) at the rock shop. I can say he gets that from me. I remember going to shows & being intrigued with them, just as he is.

I found the old timey portrait place, something I've always wanted to do. I hadn't seen the shop since I was a kid so I assumed they didn't do it anymore. I was finally the saloon whore girl I always wanted to be. B was a gambler/cowboy type & Z chose not to participate. I was bummed about that, but decided to simply honor his wishes & not make a big deal about it.

So while I was trying to get myself together in the corset, B had to help if course, he noticed a hard lump in left boob. I hadn't noticed it before & honestly I don't think there are 2 days in a row when B doesn't handle my boobs, so it was new.

Over the next few days the lump got smaller, it felt like a clogged milk duct only I hadn't nursed in 8 years. Right after Christmas I made an appt with my primary dr.

On Weds after New Years I saw the dr first thing. She asked my age & when I told her 41, she said "good, you've recently had a mammogram." Then I had tell her at my last appt with the other dr I asked about getting one & he didn't think it was necessary (in Aug).

She then felt the lump & said it was big. I told her it was a lot smaller than what it was originally. In my opinion it's almost gone, but she said it was 2cm & that's big. My lymph nodes aren't swollen, which is good, she thinks it's a fluid filled cyst.

While I wasn't worked up about it before, or at least I was trying to not, she had her nurse schedule a mammogram & ultra-sound the very next day. Then she gave me the number to a surgeon, whom I will see on Friday to discuss results.

June 2012

The boy finished 4th grade with a bang. Um, a good one not a bad one, clarification totally necessary for this kid.

Mrs Y was awesome for Z, exactly what he needed - tough but loving, fair & from what we could tell, did not play favorites. Z would play his games, check his boundaries, but between Mrs Y, BFF (the VP) & B the little one didn't get away with much. lots of growing up was to be had for Z, he did well academically & socially.

although we didn't get the results until right before school started for the state testing, Z missed only 1 on the entire math section & was above average for his english/reading/writing/literature/whatever it was.  the intelligence is there, it's the behavior & self control that limit him.  i think Z even surprised himself at his achievement.

B finished another semester in nursing school, one year down!

nothing to report for me, same old routine.

on ice

we went ice skating with the cub scout group.  we had been told of the outing weeks in advance & i was SO excited!  um, Z was like whatever.  i remember going ice skating once before when i was a kid, little, parents still married even.  for some reason i thought i would be able to just glide out on the ice like dorothy hamill, not my fault girl made it look so easy.

i looked it up, it was the olympics of 76, so i was about 5 years old.  i fell a lot.  i cried a lot.  then i said it was bull**** & i was done with it.  [it really wouldn't surprise me if i said that, just so you know.]  i remember my parents trying to goad me out to there again but i wasn't having any more of it.

flash forward many years & now that i have roller skating & roller blade experience under my belt, i was eager to try again.  we were a little late, which you know, is what we do, so there were a few people there already giving it a whirl.  beings it was a group of newbies they rented "EZ skaters" - walkers for ice skating for all intentional purposes.

Z borrowed one of those & headed out w/B while i held on to the rail for dear life.  although B hadn't ice skated in a long time, it didn't take him long to get it back.  Z was out there, fast, it didn't matter how many times he fell he just kept on going & before we knew it he'd kicked that EZ skater to the curb & was falling all about without it, but that still didn't stop him.

i got going, finally able to let go of that rail a bit as it was quite similar to roller blading.  my calves would get sore really quickly though.  i could do 2 laps then i needed a break.  B tried coming along with me, but i couldn't hold his hand & skate, i needed to be on my own.  the only problem was i didn't learn to stop, which can be troublesome.  i little boy fell down in front of me & all i could do was yell to warn him of my eminent crash.  B said i actually called out his name, i have no recollection of that, but he was right behind me & he grabbed a hold of my waist & slowed me down some so i didn't completely run over the little one.

it was a good time, although Z fell numerous times he didn't complain.  i figured out i couldn't watch either B or Z skate as i would need heart medication.  we'll put that one down as a win & hope to do it again soon.

B's birthday weekend & another haircut story bc it's about that time of year....

B's mom & step dad came out for a visit for B's birthday.  they arrived on weds, so B & the boy were able to drive down to the airport to pick them up in the afternoon.  i didn't get to spend much time with everyone except for dinners, where we all ate like cavemen.

i don't remember what all it consisted of, but yeah, no vegetarians in this house.  then for B's birthday, one of his classmates gave us coupons to a local casino's seafood buffet.  yeah, let's gorge some more.  Z ate plates & plate of crab legs, then a couple of deserts, then 2 MORE plates of crab legs.  i was worried he might get sick on the drive home, he was fine though.

so on to the haircut story shall we?
one night Z's in the shower & mom-in-law says something about him taking a long time in there.  i didn't really think much of it, but the next morning when i went to shave my legs i noticed the blade was on backwards.  i'm not very smart so it took awhile for me to make the leap that the boy had been in the shower the night before.

alone with a razor.
& m-i-l had noticed he'd taken some time.

when Z got up i asked him if he'd used my razor & he said yes, he'd given himself a haircut in the shower.  that he thought of shaving his arms & legs too, but decided against it.  so i asked where? how? did he "give himself a haircut in the shower?" & he showed me [without the blade] how he shaved one side of his head, then the other, then the back.

the sides didn't show any obvious damage, the back however was shaved down to the skin.  it was not a good haircut.  B's first instinct was to shave his head completely, but the boy is much to light to sport that 'do.  so for a couple of weeks we just let it be & the long hair for the most part covered up the bald spot.

the cereal standoff

so the boy has graduated from the smaller bowls to regular size cereal bowls, the problem is he FILLS the bowl & then throws half of it away.  there is no pour 1/2 to 3/4 of a bowl & if he's still hungry pour more, no, no, no, it's all or none, don't want to waste that bowl space.

he's overfilled the bowl repeatedly & we have not been able to figure out a way to get him stop; no talk, no reasoning, no threats, nada.  finally one day i told him if he poured that much & put milk on it, he'd better eat it all, he continued on with is bowl of shredded wheat & so the day began.

he said he would eat it, but i knew it was too much.  i told him to put it in the fridge to keep in cold & to not let it sit very long bc the longer it sat the worse it would be.  i thought in an hour or so he would eat it, but he didn't.  lunch time came & went, the cereal was not eaten.  the day continued & it was time to get ready for a cub scout meeting but i told him he had to eat before we went, eat the cereal.  i was not going to let him gorge on snacks & treats without eating that darn bowl of cereal.

he refused, we didn't go to the meeting & the battle of the wills continued...
even B was impressed i hadn't folded by this time.

a couple of hours later he brought out the bowl, he tasted it & said it was gross.  surprise.  it took some time, but he did finally eat it.  i felt bad, but the line had been drawn in the sand & i had to stand my ground with him.  i know it seems harsh & ridiculous to have to do things this way, but honestly it made a difference.  he's gotten better with listening to me & he's definitely more mindful about wasting food.

Z deoderant & the oh shit story

one day at the end of the school day Z's hair was jacked up.  it wasn't cut [been there, done that], but it was all a mess.  i asked him maybe the girls had been playing & fixing up each others' hair, then they got a hold of him; nope that wasn't it.  then he explained to me that he'd been hot the day before so this morning he'd put underarm deodorant on his head....

******************

the other day we went for one heck of a walk, actually it was a hike, 2 hours & miles do not equal a walk. anyways at the end of it B & I were in a heap, so we stopped at the park on the way home & Z ran into a couple of friends & played kickball.  [really, does he have to rub in all that darn energy?]

anyways, so Z kicks the ball & his shoe falls of & he says "oh shit!".  the were a ways of, so i asked B "did he just say that?" & B said "yes he did".  we let him play for a bit then we called the boy over & asked him about it.
B asked him where he heard it? - "from a movie/tv/whatever" [good answer]
Has he ever heard us say it? - "yes" [surprise]
Who says it more - "Poppa" [YES! & proof that he doesn't listen to a word i say....]

******************

the other day at target or walmart, Z & I were near the feminine hygiene area.  thankfully, i've managed to steer clear of this discussion for some time.  i always remember that was a signal of "it's time to no longer bring the boy into the lady's restroom with you" after the time he asked me about the tampon dispenser.  i told him it didn't have any candy btw.....

then there has been an occasional question at home but easily answered with "be happy you're a boy & you don't need to know anything about this."  however, this time at the store, he pointed to a box of pads & then he smiled funny so i asked him what that was about & he told me he knew what they were for & he pointed to the right area.  i left it at that.

Z updates bc we're so overdue for one....

well, let's see....right before christmas break, Z got in trouble at school & had it not been for that holiday, i'm pretty sure the teacher would have called us in for a talk.  luckily the break calmed & cleared everyone's head, i guess a 3 weeks will do that for you....thankfully.

Z got his 1st pair of glasses over the break, when he returned to school, his teacher even moved him from the front & center spot.  while i'm sure part of that was someone else was more deserving of her attn, it was good that it wasn't Z, even if only for a moment.

he did get a progress report; still not showing his work, not listening, not performing up to his abilities & behind in his AR testing.  [read child of B, not mine]

about week ago or so, the calls started up again.  i'm sure at least a part of it has something to do with B's new class schedule; 3 times a week Z goes to school before 8, when on regular days, he gets up at 8.  in this aspect the boy is like momma & he needs his sleep, lots & lots of it.  on the days B doesn't have school, he's had the chance to go in & talk with teacher, so we're working together.

again the boy is not showing his work, but one day when his teacher asked him why he didn't he told her "bc i don't want to" in front of the entire class, so he was sent to the principal's office.  he also went to the responsibility room where he did no work.  the spiral downward continued, bc that's what Z does.  i'm hoping he hit rock bottom & we're bouncing back, we'll see....

so we had an anniversary

yes, we did!

neighbor J watched the boy & although I wasn't feeling that great B had made reservations at that little french restaurant we used to go to a long time ago.  i was so glad considering recent economic times this place was still around.  B got the fish bc he's the chick & i got the beef wellington, cuz i'm the dude.  B wanted to go to the movies afterwards to watch "the vow" but i didn't want to rush dinner nor did i want to watch a sappy movie that was going to make me cry....[see chick/dude references].

it was nice to sit & have a relaxing dinner, the restaurant is not one to feed you & push you out the door.  B also noticed we were probably the youngest people in the restaurant & joked that we got the kiddie table.  we sat & talked for a bit after eating & although we'd decided to go to a coffeeshop, in my delirium i ordered tea so B got his espresso there.  I shouldn't be allowed to talk when i'm in that state.

B also got me some purdy roses, the yellow ones with the orange tips & a nice card.

the next evening Z asked if he could eat the left over b.wellington i brought home.  beings i wasn't feeling well the night before i didn't want to eat very much as it's quite rich.  Z didn't care for it, the meat was too rare, but beings it was there on the counter i tasted it again.  wow, was it ever good, yes, i had ordered it med-rare, but even re-heated it was still pretty red, so i understood why the boy didn't care for it.  however, it made me realize how off i was the night before.

i missed getting a card for B for our anniversary, but i got him one for valentine's day.  i didn't get a card for valentine's though, not that it was a big deal, more something we laughed about.  he did actually tell me when i was going to the store that if i wanted a card, i needed to buy one for myself.  i think i owe myself some valentine's day shoes or purse though...

we camped again

not in the snow, with cubs scouts & even better with M & little one!

unfortunately B's school got all stupid & instead of getting out of class at 4, he was there until 7 then when he got home we still have to throw all our camping stuff in the back of the truck, go pick up another CS family that had issues, then pick up some drive thru dinner & drive ~2 hours to the middle of the desert.

thankfully we gave a friend our tent, so at least that was setup but it was 10 or 11pm when we finally got to our spot. we unloaded the necessities, were told to keep food in the vehicle bc there were desert rats out there, then we hit the hay. i was exhausted at work before all this, add the wind noise & attack of the rabid desert rats & i did not sleep all night no matter how tired i was.

the next morning kiddos were up at sunrise squealing & screeching & making all kinds of horrible sounds, happy sounds, but awful to someone who was now feeling rather zombish. we had some sort of breakfast that included a cup of sausage links & bagels [no cream cheese, see roughing it!]. i wandered over & found M's campsite with her own private potty! we had to share; with a lot of people, it was a hike from the campsite & it was stinky!

in the afternoon we took a hike into the nothingness & found an oasis; it was beautiful & surprising to find. the boys had activities & after dinner B & I went to hang w/M for the evening. we had a bit to drink & talked, but we were all exhausted & thought it was at least 10pm only to discover it was like 7:30, talk about lightweights. getting up so early plus the sun going down so quickly really messed up our clocks

before we left camp we asked Z if he wanted to come with us but he wanted to stay with the kids.  when we returned, he said he didn't know where we were....bc we often just disappear like that.  they were playing around the campfire then the kid got all kinds of attitude & we had to go have a talk in the tent.  i'm sure he was just all kinds of tired, but really tired mommy wasn't having it.

the next morning we had breakfast & a nice little prayer ceremony, then it was time to pack it up.  we headed back over to visit M & little one for a bit before we got on the road.  on our way home we missed our turn & ended up driving through julian.

being i started the trip exhausted, then didn't sleep one night, i was out of it for an entire week.  the princess needs a bed & warmth & no rats...
oh, i forgot to mention that someone did have a rat enter their tent in the night!

the birthday that wasn't

during christmas break i had mentioned to Z that Grammie's birthday was coming up.  i had agonized over what to do, how to handle the situation, but yet i still wanted him to express birthday wishes to her.  so on one of trips to target he asked if he could pick out a birthday card for her.  the card he chose had some dinosaurs on the front & inside is said:

HEY REMEMBER US?

i about fell over in the aisle laughing so hard.  Z didn't understand & i needed to explain to him that although i thought the card was HILARIOUS, Grammie wouldn't like it, that really it would hurt her feelings [no matter how true it was], so he picked out a normal happy birthday card.

also during the break & before the actual birthday Z wrote a letter to Grammie.  he talked about how he missed her & how he would like to go spend the weekend with her & then he asked why she wasn't talking to us.

yeah......it gets better

it was part of a cub scout assignment & he wanted to really mail it to her.

...[no words]

there wasn't really anything i could say, so he addressed it & mail it off.

the letter was mailed before the birthday card & i waited on pins & needles for the call that i knew was inevitable.  she called one day when i wasn't feeling well & was sleeping.  when i called her back she said she was calling to speak with Z about the letter he wrote her.  although she didn't say the words, it was obvious she didn't want to speak with me.

i really, really don't get how she still wanted to continue this.  i told her we needed to talk about things.  it took some effort but then she finally let it out that she was mad about 4th of july weekend, that S "took priority" but she refused to admit the real reason was she that she was upset that Z didn't want to go spend the weekend with her.

then she went on to say that she was hurt bc i didn't go over on my birthday.  um, remember the call i got?  welcoming right?  she said she wanted me to know she was mad at me...well, gee, isn't that the BEST way to wish someone a happy birthday & invite them over for cake????

so i don't know that we really got anywhere but we did talk & then i let her talk with Z.  oh, i did tell her that Z wouldn't be going to stay with her until we worked things out [including B] & that she needed to ask us before asking him over.  that's mainly bc she doesn't take our schedule, his cub scout activities or when he's on restriction into any consideration & we have to drop off & pick up on her schedule.

she talked with Z for a bit & when he brought me the phone he was saying "ok, i'll check with my mom if i can go stay with you next weekend".....so what, 12 seconds later she's doing it again?

her birthday was a few days later.  i called her & wished her a happy birthday & we talked for a few minutes, then i let Z talk with her.

holiday break

so i'm new working in a school environment thing, so i didn't know i was going to get the week between christmas & new year off.  when i figured it out, we tried to plan to go somewhere but it was too late, too expensive to reserve anything during that time.

B & Z went up to ghetto house for a couple of days when i was still working.  well, not the house itself, but up to visit R.  during the week off Z & I were sick with a cold; we tried taking it easy thinking that would nip it in the bud.  Z did eventually get better, i didn't.  i also didn't make it to the budz annual christmas party, which was such a bummer.

for new years we went to our neighbor's condo in oceanside.  i really, (ok, REALLY) was thinking of backing out, but decided i needed to quite being such a stick in the mud & do SOMETHING.  i was glad i went, that we went.  we went to the condo's game room & not that there was much, but there was a foozeball table (i'm the worst foozeball player in the world, weakest wrists ever!) & a pool table (yeah, i suck at that too).

Z had a good time playing foozeball though as he was better than me & you know that's all that matters.  pool was really fun though, i probably haven't played (more than a game or two at least) since B & I met.  however, i used to play often with the guys from work & some other friends.  funny thing is B also used to play quite a bit before we met as well.  Z hadn't played & he got in a few good shots & at one point B said i broke a few laws of physics when i got 2 balls in with 1 shot.  i think i broke more than that....

so now we need a full size pool table ;-p

when we came home S was here waiting for us; we stayed up & rang in the west coast new year.  i don't remember what we did the rest of the weekend.  oh, i know at some point we worked in the yard & we built L-dog a fab house.

i need to blog more, i can't remember shit.

Thanksgiving 2011

no, my mom & i are still not speaking.....just thought i should clear that up.  i went back & forth, part of me felt i should call her, but last time that didn't really solve the problem [obviously bc she's doing it again] so i decided, that i will let her call.
she started the game, she can end it.
i know bad.

she sent Z a card for halloween & another one for thanksgiving.  so i know she didn't have any plans of coming over.  funny thing is, all this time i haven't been missing her, i've actually been thinking about how she failed me as a parent.  how i was robbed of being a child & forced to be an adult bc she didn't know what to do with me.  how she annihilated my sense of self worth & would put me down.
um, that's not where i was going with this so let's move on please....

lalala, so yes, thanksgiving was not what we had expected.  B's family plans got thrown out the window & i'm not even going to get into that one....at one point we were seriously considering going back to the desert for the holiday to spend with B's bff R & the family of redheads who were also kind & considerate enough to invite us over as well.

thank you lord, we have friends, bc the family stuff ain't working.

B's bff R, girlfriend & momma came to town bringing desserts.  we prepped turkey, stuffing & spinach dip, then all of us headed over to the neighbors who prepared side dishes.  guess what?  you know why she didn't have family over?  bc she's having family issues too!  we all had our little part which ended up a feast & nobody was overwhelmed, it was a really good feeling.

this year's thanksgiving was all about friends, the people who hang out with you bc they like you not bc they have to.

finally

i'm back, i know, it's been way too long...

work was kicking my butt, i was completely exhausted all the time, plenty of nights i was going to bed at 8:30.  then the laptop up & died, without a cursory blue screen of death....i got vertical lines of color & the screen went out.  luckily, i was able to get all my bookmarks & thankfully i didn't keep anything on there before it was gone.

Z's been busy with school.  i almost am afraid to say it, but my bff hasn't called lately.  although Z did get a red card the other (which really, who cares if bff doesn't call, i'm good).  he started guitar lessons a few weeks ago; he goes back & forth between liking it & not....because he actually has to practice.  he's also still doing the cub scout thing, but along the same lines, he's not all that into it other than going to the meetings, he's not down with extra effort.  reports cards are coming out soon, i don't think anyone around here is looking forward to that.

B's also been busy doing his nursing thing.  thankfully his class load isn't too heavy, but he's about to start his clinicals soon, so that will be interesting.  they actually went to check things out last week & the entire class got stuck in the parking lot elevator....for an hour.  glad i wasn't there, i would most surely have to pee or something.

i think i've gotten into the swing of things with working.  one day i forgot to put on anti-antiperspirant...while it was still very summer.  another day i forgot to brush my teeth.  seriously!  how could i, clean teeth freak forget i really don't know!  what's worse, i couldn't come home at lunch to brush them.  so i used wet paper towels to rub them a little, chewed several pieces of gum & popped breath mints, often & managed to survive the day.

my mom still isn't talking to me.

i miss nana like crazy still, her birthday back in september was a rough day.

how to one up that walmart interview

E made it sound like i would be working the following week, but after the interview i didn't hear anything. i went to vegas & tried not to dwell on it; then i called B & asked him what he thought i should do, i'm always hesitant to put myself out there like that. he thought it would be better for me to call & ask about it, that it was unlikely to turn out bad.

so i did.

i called E from a hotel bathroom in vegas.
alone at least, no strippers or midgets....

i left a message asking what was the status of the position beings i hadn't heard anything after the interview. within a couple of hours i received a call from HR offering me the position.

with a bit of a raise!

i started the following tuesday!
it's my alma matter & where B's going to nursing school!

oh, & get this:
friday july 1st - B found out he was accepted into the nursing program, i received a check from my uncle thanking me for taking care of nana & i got the walmart interview call.
friday july 15th - i got the walmart interview job, S & M both won some $ in vegas.
nothing special happened on the 29th, but we're good!

my 40th birfday

we had a lazy morning, of course, i wouldn't have it any other way.
the plan was to head to a nearby mall for shopping & seafood buffet; then B got online & found out the place we planned on eating had closed due to renovations. not that big of deal, i knew of another one at a different mall, just further away. so we drove down to mall #2, only the restaurant wasn't there either & it wasn't listed on the directory. fine, i know of a 3rd seafood buffet place!

we went to #3 & we should not have. it wasn't that good & B was sure a bite of some sort of scallop concoction was no bueno. i didn't eat anything that bad, but i did have a bit of a roll that the fried outside was so greasy i had to spit it out. thumbs up on the crepes for dessert though.

after our not so good birthday lunch we went back to mall #2 for some birthday shopping. i didn't find all that much; Z got a darling lil hat & B got some good shoes. apparently we're of that age where we need good [read ugly] shoes.

oh, um, sidenote i forgot to make the awesome announcement:
B GOT INTO NURSING SKOOL!!!
so he really does need ugly, i mean, good shoes.

we even went to mall #3 [really 2 as we didn't actually go to 1 but whatev]. we malled it until 8pm i think, then we hit costco up for a birthday cheesecake, the vietnamese restaurant for some dinner then home to gobble up our goodies. i forgot to leave room for cheesecake :-(. Z didn't want vietnamese so he had chef boy-r-dee :>P

wednesday, may 29th, 2002

Z was putting away his birthday cards, in a storage box that has old cards & other momentos & he found the e-mail string print out from the day he was born:

Dear Baby Z (ok, they didn't know the name, but you get the idea) -

Just wanted to let you know how excited everyone is to have you as the newest bud! The day you were being born I got a call from Auntie Chaz who said "S's in labor"! She gave me the number to the hospital and was very excited. then I checked my e:mail (which by the way has only been around a few years) and got a message from Uncle Steve. From then on it continued. I thought you would get a kick out this some day.

10:24am - from Steve
Hello All,

How is everyone? Long time no talk. I just got a call from Chaz. S is in the hospital right now about to give birth to a new baby boy. If anyone would like to call and wish them the best, the number is (yyy)yyy-zzzz room #236. I hope everyone is doing well.

Regards,
Steve

10:38am - from Sharon
Thanks for the info!! I am very excited!!

10:51am - from Kev
don't call now! i just called and she can't come to the phone.....she's in the throws of labor as i type! GO S!! 1, 2, 3, PUUUUSH.... 1, 2, 3, PUUUUSH.... 1, 2, 3, PUUUUSH....

10:52am - from Steve
Don't take me there again. So much pain for that poor little girl.

10:52am - from Sharon
Thanks for the heads up I left a message at home since she's kinda busy right now.

12:36pm - from Sharon
Does anyone know if he's here yet?

1:30pm - from Sharon to Maya
Can you do me a big favor and e:mail Steve S's address. I completely forgot about it and he's been asking since the shower. Thanks

1:30pm - from Maya
did you call S at the hospital? I tried just a few minutes ago and no one answered....all i could picture in my mind was legs up in the air....baby coming out...doctors & nurses up to their elbows in who knows what...and the stupid phone ringing in the background!

1:46pm - from Kev
not i

2:32pm - from Maya
hey all!
S & B's address is:
(private, duh, we still live here!)

3:38pm - from Maya
i just called and there was no answer...as i told shar...all i could picture in my mind was legs up in the air....baby coming out...doctors & nurses up to their elbows in who knows what...brian with a big goofy "i'm gonna be a dad" smile on his face and the stupid phone ringing in the background!

if i hear anything i will let all of you know!

3:39pm - from Maya
I thought these things took only a couple of hours? Boom Bam Your otta there?

So no news yet? Someone let me know. I'm afraid to call after Kev's message! Who;s keeping tabs?

ps j/k to all you long laboring moms

3:38pm - from Kev
call and find out....inquiring minds wanna know....

3:52pm - from Sharon
I would have called but I thought from your message earlier I shouldn't. I'll try her. I thought we were not supposed to call cuz I thought it all happened in that one room. I don't know about these things! @#)&*#@

3:54pm - from Sharon
O.K. I just tried and got the phone ringing thing to. Personally, I think they went out for pizza.

4:01pm - from Krys
fur sur! I thought i would be back and find an email announcing the arrival. no clues anyone?

4;01pm - from Steve
Ok, I'm not calling. Too much emotion running in that room. Chaz should do it, she is the closest.

5:10pm from Sharon
Z was born 12:53pm

If anyone is still at work and checking messages!! She was moved to another room so that is why we could not get a hold of her today!!

The number to call tomorrow is yyy-yyy-zzzz Room 304
She asked for rest tonight,
Love you all
Yay a new bud!!

5:10pm - from Sandy
What a beautiful name! Congrats to S & hubby!!!

5:10pm - from Sandy
Congratulations!!!! :-)

how that dr appt went

remember on our way to nana's funeral we stopped off at the dr's office to drop off Z's add/adhd eval? way to start out a trip for a funeral huh?

this was the first available appt & when i made it, B didn't have his school schedule. once it came out we realized he wouldn't be able to go with us & we didn't want to re-schedule beings it took over a month to get the original appt.

you don't even get an appt apparently unless they're going to tell you - yes, your child is add/adhd.

Z was sent to a different room for testing, while the dr & i talked. i explained to him although it's been ongoing, Z's behavior is different at home & it also seems to vary on the teacher's environment. we discussed Z's history, the behavior issues, etc.

then we moved on to info about B & I when he asked "who has it?"

i told him i thought we both exhibited characteristics in different ways, but that he seemed to take after B more than me. i also made sure he knew neither of us were ever formally diagnosed, had not taken any meds for it & learned to handle it; that if we were capable, our child could possibly as well.

he asked about our work environment & educational background. i told him i did office work & sat at a computer all day, that i'm best when i'm multi-tasking & that i had my BS degree. he agreed that i had learned to make the best of my fidgetiness.

when i told him B had several AA degrees, the man pounced - SEE his inability to follow though, THAT'S a definite sign. i tried to explain B got those AA's while going to school at night & that he had been in the USMC for 20 years & was now going to college for nursing.

everything i said validated his point....B was able to stay in USMC for 20yrs bc of the structure, bc he moved around, the nursing was also an add/adhd flag.

he explained that although there was no actual test for add/adhd, that it's all based on opinion, Z is & the only reason he's was making it now is bc he is very intelligent but if we don't medicate by about 5th grade or middle school, he will be failing school & bring home all Fs.

i asked about alternatives to medicate - counseling, behavior modification, parenting classes, natural therapies.

he said add/adhd is a chemical imbalance that no amount of counseling or bm can have any affect, those are used for depression. he said the parenting classes may some, but not much & that hippie shit was dangerous (cuz uppers & opium derivatives are totally good for you...).

one thing that really stuck with me was he said "if you want him to grow up to be a fireman or a forester than he will be fine but if you want him to grow up to be an accountant, he needs the medication"

WHAT?

what does 'what i want my child to grow up to be' have anything to do with giving him medication? if there is something wrong with Z i have no problems meding him, but when it comes to a f-ing job description????

i told the dr "right now he wants to be a vet & i'm completely happy with that, but he is only 9..."

as you can tell, the dr & i were not on the same page; i was not the parent he expected & he was just looking to write a prescription - wha-la i fixed your kid!

i told him the reason i was there was bc i was tired of getting phones calls from school & i was concerned about Z making friends.

the dr recommended either charter schools or home schooling. the friend thing, that's the tough one; in his opinion Z's impulsiveness is standing in the way of making friends.

now THAT is something that i will take into consideration.

we have a follow-up appt next week so he can give us the results of Z's IQ test. i dont' really see the point, seems like whether it's high or low, it won't have any impact on the dr's opinion.

B & I will go, we talked about it, we could get the prescription & not give him the meds.
we will also go to another dr though.

bleeping bunnies & worthless dog...

a few months ago there was a night when we pulled into the driveway & there was a cute little bunny that ran across the front yard. aw, cute, a lil bunny with a fluffy lil tail!

for mother's day the boys put in a pretty flower garden for me. for my mom we made a colorful flower/plant arrangement, there were enough leftover flowers to make a 2nd pot which we kept. it was really pretty & colorful & doing so well, it was begging to out to the front door & be on display. the first night the bunnies attacked it like i had put a sign out "free bunny breakfast". it didn't stop there either, they also mowed down a few other plants in the garden.

then....

our last water bill was $150, which may happen in aug/sept when it's way hot & the garden needs the extra water if it's going to produce anything. in june that was not right, it wasn't even a hot june, it's been cool & gloomy. luckily B had put in a banana tree that a neighbor had given us & he was cleaning up the rock mess he'd dug up in order to get the plant in when he noticed the sprinkler hose um, well, was broke in a place where it shouldn't be.

actually, it was chewed.

all the way through.

2 distinct hoses now.

thanks bunnies.....

so bc of where the line was cut broken chewed we have no idea how long the leak was happening before it was completely in 2! not to mention that we've been watering our neighbor's hill.....or the fact that we've had to water 1/2 our garden with the hose in addition to the non-sprinkler water [all while wondering wth is up with these plants needing so much water!!!].

oh & the dog, hahahah
yeahhhhh.....she's inside sleeping. i can only assume she's made some sort of arrangement with the bunnies, as in - look you come in the yard & do whatever you want, just let me sleep, k? k. deal.
bc they ain't even concerned about her one bit.

heck the other day she was sleeping in her spot near the kitchen. i was cooking but went down the hall to say something to B & when i returned there was a bird in the middle of the kitchen.

this is not the house of snow white animals!

the red folder eval

right after the cs camping trip i went to school & asked my bff about conducting a red folder eval on Z. one of the cs mom's (with 2 add/adhd boys & she's a teacher) had suggested this would help & we need all we can get! i made sure the vp knew about the add/adhd eval that's in progress & she agreed, the school eval would be a beneficial aspect for the dr's info.

B & I went it & met with VP, teacher, counselor & another person who took notes.

the first step was to go over academics - they evaluated him testing individually & in a group. individually he did significantly better & he could potentially be considered gifted. when he's in a group however he can't stay on task & his scores suffer.

the counseling/behavior review was disheartening as i expected. actually more than i expected, but i know they aren't doctors & this is the beginning of a long journey that will require a lot of effort, research, trial and error.....

in addition to their opinion of Z being adhd they also expressed concern over his "highs & lows". in their opinion Z is either very happy or very sad. in case you can't read between the lines, they think he may be bi-polar. yes, they said it, i'm not extrapolating anything.

i see add/adhd in both B & I in different aspects. i see it in both of my parents' behaviors. i know B's dad had issues (i use past tense only bc there's been no contact the entire time i've known B).

i know Z has problems, that sometimes his behavior is inexcusable.
i keep hoping he will figure it out, he will learn, he will mature, he will listen, follow the rules & quit checking the damn fence.

the vp also made sure we were aware that next year documenting behavior won't be as lenient as it has been. as a 4th grader the consequences are stiffer and documentation will no longer be at her discretion.

the boy has a lot of growing up to do over the summer...

the rest of the trip

for memorial day we went back to grandma G's house to celebrate. Z finally got to open the present he'd handled so much our previous visit. i have to say i was surprised he didn't start to open it off in corner somewhere. the present was 3 small dart guns; Z had a blast playing with his great, great uncle & later we played downstairs in the basement. the sun was finally out so before we left Z went & ran around the yard, loving the grass & dirt on his feet.

we left grandma's house & stopped at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery. i hope after the impact of the flag retirement ceremony that Z was able to comprehend at least a little of what memorial day was really about.

by tuesday one of the guns was already broken & Z decided with his birthday $ he wanted to get a bigger nerf gun. we got 2 guns; B played a few rounds with Z & even grandma C joined in the fun. we took one more walk out to the park & lake before the sun went down for the day. that night i read more of fablehaven to the boys, even B's enjoying the story now.

before we knew it 3am wednesday came along & it was time to get on the road home. the trip was good & Z was well behaved, something we all were grateful for.