no, my mom & i are still not speaking.....just thought i should clear that up. i went back & forth, part of me felt i should call her, but last time that didn't really solve the problem [obviously bc she's doing it again] so i decided, that i will let her call.
she started the game, she can end it.
i know bad.
she sent Z a card for halloween & another one for thanksgiving. so i know she didn't have any plans of coming over. funny thing is, all this time i haven't been missing her, i've actually been thinking about how she failed me as a parent. how i was robbed of being a child & forced to be an adult bc she didn't know what to do with me. how she annihilated my sense of self worth & would put me down.
um, that's not where i was going with this so let's move on please....
lalala, so yes, thanksgiving was not what we had expected. B's family plans got thrown out the window & i'm not even going to get into that one....at one point we were seriously considering going back to the desert for the holiday to spend with B's bff R & the family of redheads who were also kind & considerate enough to invite us over as well.
thank you lord, we have friends, bc the family stuff ain't working.
B's bff R, girlfriend & momma came to town bringing desserts. we prepped turkey, stuffing & spinach dip, then all of us headed over to the neighbors who prepared side dishes. guess what? you know why she didn't have family over? bc she's having family issues too! we all had our little part which ended up a feast & nobody was overwhelmed, it was a really good feeling.
this year's thanksgiving was all about friends, the people who hang out with you bc they like you not bc they have to.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
turkey nightmares
so i'm getting into my groove at work [translates to i'm discovering my mistakes], so that's good, i guess. funny that boss doesn't say anything to me though, just lets me mess things up. oh well, i actually learn best that way & possibly, what's really scary, is that he knows that.
now that i'm a real employee, i'm on probation.....for a year....so much for feeling all comfy.
i already had to turn in my first self evaluation. it was fun.
when boss sent it over to me he actually told me "don't be too hard on yourself".
SEE? he knows me, i don't need anyone to tell me what a f-up i am....my mother taught me well dammit!
so far the hardest thing for me to do was thanksgiving. really, one wouldn't think so, but for me, it was. first i had to figure out where to get the turkeys from & that's actually more difficult than i expected. we don't have ovens, so i needed a hot, cooked turkey & really, not an easy task....well, factor in that it needs to be cheap too & that we were feeding between 40-50 people.
i finally found a place, but then i had to wait for boss to tell me it was ok to order & i needed $$ to pay for it & that was the part that was killing me. yes, i know he was busy with important things, but dang, i honestly was having nightmares about the thankgiving potluck & no flipping turkey & my ass was fired. part of that was bc in prep for the potluck i don't know how many of the guys told me "that's not how blahblah predecessor did it" so in the end i would just tell them i wasn't her.....
we got turkeys ordered & i felt the weight lifted from my shoulders, it was great.
then i realized i had to decorate, which is so not my forte.
i went out to the room, pulled out the previous years decorations & ended up with a headache. i went back to the office & pitifully asked a coworker to help me & she was awesome! she moved the tables around so people could sit across from each other & put tablecloths up so they looked like drapes & all kinds of cute little things. every once in awhile she would ask me "what do you think about this?" & i was at a loss.....yeah, i failed decorating in chick school.
the potluck went well, i could hardly eat though. afterwards we cleaned it all up & i was so relieved it was all over.....then later i realized christmas is next.....let the ham nightmares begin.
now that i'm a real employee, i'm on probation.....for a year....so much for feeling all comfy.
i already had to turn in my first self evaluation. it was fun.
when boss sent it over to me he actually told me "don't be too hard on yourself".
SEE? he knows me, i don't need anyone to tell me what a f-up i am....my mother taught me well dammit!
so far the hardest thing for me to do was thanksgiving. really, one wouldn't think so, but for me, it was. first i had to figure out where to get the turkeys from & that's actually more difficult than i expected. we don't have ovens, so i needed a hot, cooked turkey & really, not an easy task....well, factor in that it needs to be cheap too & that we were feeding between 40-50 people.
i finally found a place, but then i had to wait for boss to tell me it was ok to order & i needed $$ to pay for it & that was the part that was killing me. yes, i know he was busy with important things, but dang, i honestly was having nightmares about the thankgiving potluck & no flipping turkey & my ass was fired. part of that was bc in prep for the potluck i don't know how many of the guys told me "that's not how blahblah predecessor did it" so in the end i would just tell them i wasn't her.....
we got turkeys ordered & i felt the weight lifted from my shoulders, it was great.
then i realized i had to decorate, which is so not my forte.
i went out to the room, pulled out the previous years decorations & ended up with a headache. i went back to the office & pitifully asked a coworker to help me & she was awesome! she moved the tables around so people could sit across from each other & put tablecloths up so they looked like drapes & all kinds of cute little things. every once in awhile she would ask me "what do you think about this?" & i was at a loss.....yeah, i failed decorating in chick school.
the potluck went well, i could hardly eat though. afterwards we cleaned it all up & i was so relieved it was all over.....then later i realized christmas is next.....let the ham nightmares begin.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
house of good news
[part of that is bc we just aren't going to talk about the bad, stupid stuff]
today we got Z's report card, which is also 1st parent teacher conference of the year. i met his teacher at the beginning of the year for back to school night & B's been in to speak with her to check up on the boy, but other than that we haven't had much interaction.
overall on his report card, she said Z was a very bright child, for math he performs at grade level & could probably do better if he chose to. his reading & language wasn't quite as strong, but she said it wasn't anything to really be concerned about, that boys seem to have more trouble writing & reading. then for for life skills, he got all 'S's [satisfactory] with only 'N's [needs improvement] in observes classroom rules & demonstrates self control.
which, you know, could be SO much worse....
she also let us know she read some of his reports from last year, but she thinks he's grown up & is learning how to behave more appropriately.
i think this year's teacher is a much better fit for Z.
& now, we know what other parents feel like, this is how it's supposed to be.
good job kiddo!
today we got Z's report card, which is also 1st parent teacher conference of the year. i met his teacher at the beginning of the year for back to school night & B's been in to speak with her to check up on the boy, but other than that we haven't had much interaction.
overall on his report card, she said Z was a very bright child, for math he performs at grade level & could probably do better if he chose to. his reading & language wasn't quite as strong, but she said it wasn't anything to really be concerned about, that boys seem to have more trouble writing & reading. then for for life skills, he got all 'S's [satisfactory] with only 'N's [needs improvement] in observes classroom rules & demonstrates self control.
which, you know, could be SO much worse....
she also let us know she read some of his reports from last year, but she thinks he's grown up & is learning how to behave more appropriately.
i think this year's teacher is a much better fit for Z.
& now, we know what other parents feel like, this is how it's supposed to be.
good job kiddo!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
it happened....what we've all been waiting for
FINALLY OMG!!!!!
so whenever, i'm talking every.single.time.my.[cell].phone.rings.at.work, there's a little panic in my heart that it's my bff peggy [Z's vp] calling not to share her new fab recipe, but to tell me Z's in trouble. again.
but it happened.
the day of redemption.
she called.
my phone rang.
my heart skipped a bit.
& by now, i'm pretty sure girlfriend knows i know what's about to be said, so she starts out with "Z's ok, he's not hurt, but i would like to talk to about something that happened today".
gulp.
[actually is more of - now wtf? but whatever....]
the boys were playing a game during recess which involved kicking a ball, but you know how things get out of hand [& here's where Z kicks some kid's a** - usually].
but IT DIDN'T.
Z used his words.
& he didn't kick, punch or bite anyone either!
[rememberprison playground brawl '09]
nor did he piss on any walls.
[at least not that we're aware of]
so, the kicking got out of control & a gaggle of boys got to visit bff peggy. Z was the only one that didn't get in trouble; he blocked kicks to defend himself & did not kick anyone back.
peggy called to let us know how proud she was of Z; that he was growing up & making better choices & she wanted us to be aware of it.
yes, you read that right.
9 years, 5 months, 3 days is all it took.
so whenever, i'm talking every.single.time.my.[cell].phone.rings.at.work, there's a little panic in my heart that it's my bff peggy [Z's vp] calling not to share her new fab recipe, but to tell me Z's in trouble. again.
but it happened.
the day of redemption.
she called.
my phone rang.
my heart skipped a bit.
& by now, i'm pretty sure girlfriend knows i know what's about to be said, so she starts out with "Z's ok, he's not hurt, but i would like to talk to about something that happened today".
gulp.
[actually is more of - now wtf? but whatever....]
the boys were playing a game during recess which involved kicking a ball, but you know how things get out of hand [& here's where Z kicks some kid's a** - usually].
but IT DIDN'T.
Z used his words.
& he didn't kick, punch or bite anyone either!
[remember
nor did he piss on any walls.
[at least not that we're aware of]
so, the kicking got out of control & a gaggle of boys got to visit bff peggy. Z was the only one that didn't get in trouble; he blocked kicks to defend himself & did not kick anyone back.
peggy called to let us know how proud she was of Z; that he was growing up & making better choices & she wanted us to be aware of it.
yes, you read that right.
9 years, 5 months, 3 days is all it took.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
time for costumes
i thought it was pretty funny that i was dressing up for halloween to go to work yet Z couldn't dress up to go to school....school's way too uptight nowadays....
Z ended up picking out a blade costume, although he called it an inspector or something like that & i was a sailor girl. at the end of the day i was wiped, pantyhose really wear a girl out....
at home B & I were just putting up our halloween decorations when we got our first trick or treaters. once it starting getting dark we headed over to J's so Z could trick or treat with a gang of kiddos, always much more fun, especially beings mommy got a drink to take along thanks to J.
we went up & down the neighborhood blocks, it was surprising how many houses didn't participate this year, lots of darkness. the kiddos had a good time though, so that's all that mattered....oh & momma getting her drink on.
when we got home we got very few trick or treaters as well, surprisingly no giant teenagers this year. although after we closed up shop for the night we did get someone at the door at like 9pm, which was a bit weird. lights out buddy, you missed it!
Z ended up picking out a blade costume, although he called it an inspector or something like that & i was a sailor girl. at the end of the day i was wiped, pantyhose really wear a girl out....
at home B & I were just putting up our halloween decorations when we got our first trick or treaters. once it starting getting dark we headed over to J's so Z could trick or treat with a gang of kiddos, always much more fun, especially beings mommy got a drink to take along thanks to J.
we went up & down the neighborhood blocks, it was surprising how many houses didn't participate this year, lots of darkness. the kiddos had a good time though, so that's all that mattered....oh & momma getting her drink on.
when we got home we got very few trick or treaters as well, surprisingly no giant teenagers this year. although after we closed up shop for the night we did get someone at the door at like 9pm, which was a bit weird. lights out buddy, you missed it!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
halloween paybacks
for weeks Z & I went back & forth on costumes. i took him to the party store, we looked at walmart & target, then finally to the halloween shop.
he wanted bloody scream & i said no; too gruesome & he wore a mask last year, i wanted to see his face. we finally agreed on a swat-team grey camo costume with a muscled chest & a helmet with glasses. at home he put it on & decided he didn't want it.
then....on friday when i went to pick him up the school parking lot was packed. i was a bit confused until i realized it was the school halloween "carnival". so i ask him if he wants to go, of course, so then does that mean he will wear the swat costume? bc if he does, that means it's his for halloween. yes and no were his answers.....
he decided to wear his costume from last year; it was a black robe with blue material on the front & a mask from a star wars character (blue with little horns around the head). i was fine with that & we all went back to school.
& everyone one we saw Z had to tell them that he was wearing last year's costume.....thanks kiddo.
he wanted bloody scream & i said no; too gruesome & he wore a mask last year, i wanted to see his face. we finally agreed on a swat-team grey camo costume with a muscled chest & a helmet with glasses. at home he put it on & decided he didn't want it.
then....on friday when i went to pick him up the school parking lot was packed. i was a bit confused until i realized it was the school halloween "carnival". so i ask him if he wants to go, of course, so then does that mean he will wear the swat costume? bc if he does, that means it's his for halloween. yes and no were his answers.....
he decided to wear his costume from last year; it was a black robe with blue material on the front & a mask from a star wars character (blue with little horns around the head). i was fine with that & we all went back to school.
& everyone one we saw Z had to tell them that he was wearing last year's costume.....thanks kiddo.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
down to the valley
weekend before last i went down to the valley, a surprise trip to celebrate S's birthday. well, it was for her grandma; M & I surprised her though.
when i got to town i went by nana's house; i had to see it. there was an rv in the driveway with a for sale sign on it & they installed a handrail along the front porch steps, then i went back to the alley. i needed to see the backyard too, even though i knew it was going to hurt. the shed that was just outside the back door was gone. the big chair that used to be in her living room was out on the patio. i think the hardest part was looking at her trees; knowing i couldn't go walk in that yard anymore.
the fig tree i used to climb. the trunk still has the marks from where i used an axe to cut steps in it. yeah, so my dog could climb the tree, duh....never mind that it was ok for a little girl to play with an axe unsupervised.
i left there & went to visit cousin C. little C didn't like me at first, he thought i was a teacher coming to work with him. cousin C & i caught up on family drama & little C warmed up to me. for the first time i saw the scar on his tummy from the operation he had when he was a baby. before i knew it he was putting his feet & hands on me so i could rub on him. must be a guy thing, i am here, rub me.
i got to town late so i didn't get to spend as much time visiting the C's as i would have liked before it was time for me to head over to surprise S. it was fun to talk, hang out & catch up, we've all been so busy with things; even FB check ins have been sparse, so in person was really over due.
even though i didn't take Z with me, one of S's cousins managed to end up calling me mom, here i thought i would get the night off. mid-October the middle of the day was still 100, so we were all wiped pretty early & headed off to M's hotel room to soak up some a/c.
the next morning we got up just in time to have hotel breakfast, then shortly we went on our separate ways. when i got home the boys had enjoyed their time alone.
when i got to town i went by nana's house; i had to see it. there was an rv in the driveway with a for sale sign on it & they installed a handrail along the front porch steps, then i went back to the alley. i needed to see the backyard too, even though i knew it was going to hurt. the shed that was just outside the back door was gone. the big chair that used to be in her living room was out on the patio. i think the hardest part was looking at her trees; knowing i couldn't go walk in that yard anymore.
the fig tree i used to climb. the trunk still has the marks from where i used an axe to cut steps in it. yeah, so my dog could climb the tree, duh....never mind that it was ok for a little girl to play with an axe unsupervised.
i left there & went to visit cousin C. little C didn't like me at first, he thought i was a teacher coming to work with him. cousin C & i caught up on family drama & little C warmed up to me. for the first time i saw the scar on his tummy from the operation he had when he was a baby. before i knew it he was putting his feet & hands on me so i could rub on him. must be a guy thing, i am here, rub me.
i got to town late so i didn't get to spend as much time visiting the C's as i would have liked before it was time for me to head over to surprise S. it was fun to talk, hang out & catch up, we've all been so busy with things; even FB check ins have been sparse, so in person was really over due.
even though i didn't take Z with me, one of S's cousins managed to end up calling me mom, here i thought i would get the night off. mid-October the middle of the day was still 100, so we were all wiped pretty early & headed off to M's hotel room to soak up some a/c.
the next morning we got up just in time to have hotel breakfast, then shortly we went on our separate ways. when i got home the boys had enjoyed their time alone.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
finally
i'm back, i know, it's been way too long...
work was kicking my butt, i was completely exhausted all the time, plenty of nights i was going to bed at 8:30. then the laptop up & died, without a cursory blue screen of death....i got vertical lines of color & the screen went out. luckily, i was able to get all my bookmarks & thankfully i didn't keep anything on there before it was gone.
Z's been busy with school. i almost am afraid to say it, but my bff hasn't called lately. although Z did get a red card the other (which really, who cares if bff doesn't call, i'm good). he started guitar lessons a few weeks ago; he goes back & forth between liking it & not....because he actually has to practice. he's also still doing the cub scout thing, but along the same lines, he's not all that into it other than going to the meetings, he's not down with extra effort. reports cards are coming out soon, i don't think anyone around here is looking forward to that.
B's also been busy doing his nursing thing. thankfully his class load isn't too heavy, but he's about to start his clinicals soon, so that will be interesting. they actually went to check things out last week & the entire class got stuck in the parking lot elevator....for an hour. glad i wasn't there, i would most surely have to pee or something.
i think i've gotten into the swing of things with working. one day i forgot to put on anti-antiperspirant...while it was still very summer. another day i forgot to brush my teeth. seriously! how could i, clean teeth freak forget i really don't know! what's worse, i couldn't come home at lunch to brush them. so i used wet paper towels to rub them a little, chewed several pieces of gum & popped breath mints, often & managed to survive the day.
my mom still isn't talking to me.
i miss nana like crazy still, her birthday back in september was a rough day.
work was kicking my butt, i was completely exhausted all the time, plenty of nights i was going to bed at 8:30. then the laptop up & died, without a cursory blue screen of death....i got vertical lines of color & the screen went out. luckily, i was able to get all my bookmarks & thankfully i didn't keep anything on there before it was gone.
Z's been busy with school. i almost am afraid to say it, but my bff hasn't called lately. although Z did get a red card the other (which really, who cares if bff doesn't call, i'm good). he started guitar lessons a few weeks ago; he goes back & forth between liking it & not....because he actually has to practice. he's also still doing the cub scout thing, but along the same lines, he's not all that into it other than going to the meetings, he's not down with extra effort. reports cards are coming out soon, i don't think anyone around here is looking forward to that.
B's also been busy doing his nursing thing. thankfully his class load isn't too heavy, but he's about to start his clinicals soon, so that will be interesting. they actually went to check things out last week & the entire class got stuck in the parking lot elevator....for an hour. glad i wasn't there, i would most surely have to pee or something.
i think i've gotten into the swing of things with working. one day i forgot to put on anti-antiperspirant...while it was still very summer. another day i forgot to brush my teeth. seriously! how could i, clean teeth freak forget i really don't know! what's worse, i couldn't come home at lunch to brush them. so i used wet paper towels to rub them a little, chewed several pieces of gum & popped breath mints, often & managed to survive the day.
my mom still isn't talking to me.
i miss nana like crazy still, her birthday back in september was a rough day.
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