halloween paybacks

for weeks Z & I went back & forth on costumes. i took him to the party store, we looked at walmart & target, then finally to the halloween shop.

he wanted bloody scream & i said no; too gruesome & he wore a mask last year, i wanted to see his face. we finally agreed on a swat-team grey camo costume with a muscled chest & a helmet with glasses. at home he put it on & decided he didn't want it.

then....on friday when i went to pick him up the school parking lot was packed. i was a bit confused until i realized it was the school halloween "carnival". so i ask him if he wants to go, of course, so then does that mean he will wear the swat costume? bc if he does, that means it's his for halloween. yes and no were his answers.....

he decided to wear his costume from last year; it was a black robe with blue material on the front & a mask from a star wars character (blue with little horns around the head). i was fine with that & we all went back to school.

& everyone one we saw Z had to tell them that he was wearing last year's costume.....thanks kiddo.

down to the valley

weekend before last i went down to the valley, a surprise trip to celebrate S's birthday.  well, it was for her grandma; M & I surprised her though.

when i got to town i went by nana's house; i had to see it.  there was an rv in the driveway with a for sale sign on it & they installed a handrail along the front porch steps, then i went back to the alley.  i needed to see the backyard too, even though i knew it was going to hurt.  the shed that was just outside the back door was gone.  the big chair that used to be in her living room was out on the patio.  i think the hardest part was looking at her trees; knowing i couldn't go walk in that yard anymore.

the fig tree i used to climb.  the trunk still has the marks from where i used an axe to cut steps in it.  yeah, so my dog could climb the tree, duh....never mind that it was ok for a little girl to play with an axe unsupervised.

i left there & went to visit cousin C.  little C didn't like me at first, he thought i was a teacher coming to work with him.  cousin C & i caught up on family drama & little C warmed up to me.  for the first time i saw the scar on his tummy from the operation he had when he was a baby.  before i knew it he was putting his feet & hands on me so i could rub on him.  must be a guy thing, i am here, rub me.

i got to town late so i didn't get to spend as much time visiting the C's as i would have liked before it was time for me to head over to surprise S.  it was fun to talk, hang out & catch up, we've all been so busy with things; even FB check ins have been sparse, so in person was really over due.

even though i didn't take Z with me, one of S's cousins managed to end up calling me mom, here i thought i would get the night off.  mid-October the middle of the day was still 100, so we were all wiped pretty early & headed off to M's hotel room to soak up some a/c. 

the next morning we got up just in time to have hotel breakfast, then shortly we went on our separate ways.  when i got home the boys had enjoyed their time alone.

finally

i'm back, i know, it's been way too long...

work was kicking my butt, i was completely exhausted all the time, plenty of nights i was going to bed at 8:30.  then the laptop up & died, without a cursory blue screen of death....i got vertical lines of color & the screen went out.  luckily, i was able to get all my bookmarks & thankfully i didn't keep anything on there before it was gone.

Z's been busy with school.  i almost am afraid to say it, but my bff hasn't called lately.  although Z did get a red card the other (which really, who cares if bff doesn't call, i'm good).  he started guitar lessons a few weeks ago; he goes back & forth between liking it & not....because he actually has to practice.  he's also still doing the cub scout thing, but along the same lines, he's not all that into it other than going to the meetings, he's not down with extra effort.  reports cards are coming out soon, i don't think anyone around here is looking forward to that.

B's also been busy doing his nursing thing.  thankfully his class load isn't too heavy, but he's about to start his clinicals soon, so that will be interesting.  they actually went to check things out last week & the entire class got stuck in the parking lot elevator....for an hour.  glad i wasn't there, i would most surely have to pee or something.

i think i've gotten into the swing of things with working.  one day i forgot to put on anti-antiperspirant...while it was still very summer.  another day i forgot to brush my teeth.  seriously!  how could i, clean teeth freak forget i really don't know!  what's worse, i couldn't come home at lunch to brush them.  so i used wet paper towels to rub them a little, chewed several pieces of gum & popped breath mints, often & managed to survive the day.

my mom still isn't talking to me.

i miss nana like crazy still, her birthday back in september was a rough day.

what happened at school

i thought Z had matured over the summer, maybe i was wrong.  he did well at the summer play place we sent him to, granted it wasn't all day but still.  i thought the new teacher was a good fit, not that i've changed my mind, it's just another piece in the puzzle.

my bff called tues; i told her Z had grown up, how we liked his new teacher & that we hoped this year would be much better than last.  she was calling to check in, she had sent a message home for us to have a meeting to re-assess everything after last year's review, but i hadn't received the notice.  based on my words she decided to wait a few weeks to set up the meeting.

on weds i missed her call.  i also missed B's 2 calls, i didn't have a clue what was up until i got home.

Z had gotten in trouble.
someone had told him to hit another kid.
so he did.
a girl.
then he asked her if she was ok, she said yes.
then he asked her if she wanted to tell a supervisor, she said no.

then later she did & Z went to the office.

so 3 weeks into the school year & he's used up his one chance.
he was given "school suspension" where he went to a different classroom for the day.

i need a suspended tag

that's all i'm gonna say about that

the interview

my job listing did come up, i applied & later received a notice from HR that my salary requirements exceeded the position. they provided a range & said if i didn't reply accepting it, i would be dropped from the pool. i contacted F that night & asked if this was negotiable. i had put a salary higher than what i was currently making bc i thought it was standard practice to negotiate during the interview process, in addition i'm not taking their medical benefits which are a large portion of their package.

F did speak with me the following am & explained his hands were tied by HR, but there were other things he could do. that was good enough for me so i replied to the message.

F & i interviewed the other day & even though i know him, i was still nervous & uncomfortable. the HR guy was part of the interview process as well & he had 3 pages of questions. F asked him if we really had to do all that? if we had to ask all the questions? there were moments that were easy, but there was a question i choked on & F had to lead me to an answer.

as far as i know he didn't interview anyone else for the job (a benefit of calendar management) & i forgot to ask when they would be making a decision (mainly bc i did so poorly on the interview).

i don't know why i was so nervous, but i was & i was so mad at myself later i ended up with a headache.

good thing my boss likes me!

4th grade!

Z started 4th grade today, he was happy & anxious to go back to school. even though last year was a rough one, he was looking forward to going back [& boy were we thankful we didn't have that battle as well!].

we had a good summer although we didn't do a whole lot & we didn't really go anywhere. after the year end he didn't go to the same summer camp so we found another place for him to go which he ended up liking much better. they had different programs where he could do art, play indoor games, outside time or computer time. all around it seemed a good fit for him & we didn't receive one call or notification about improper behavior. it was grand let me tell you!

Z's new teacher was moved down from 5th grade. she's tough, but caring & is all about teaching the kids about being responsible for themselves. in the first couple of days he came home & was making an effort to no longer say "yah" but "yes". at back to school night she told me Z had a little melt down the first day of school, but he was able to pull it together. i told her he had specifically been placed in her class, which she wasn't aware of. i also told Z said he already felt like this year was going to be much better than last year & he liked her better than last year's teacher.

working girl

my first day of work was 7/19 after not working for just over 2 years. to say the least, working a 40 hour week kicked my butt...big time. i think i'm in pretty decent shape but everything would hurt, i was exhausted every day & the weekends were for sleeping/recovering. ridiculous, but part of it was i wasn't used to wearing shoes anymore, much less heels. i know, talk about uncivilized....

when i walked into the office in was in the middle of a remodel, my office had been boxed up which i worked at for a couple of days & i had a student assistant who'd been there for a whole 3 weeks. that was my training. i was in another office for a few weeks, next to E & mainly assisted him.

my boss, F, came in to the office once a week. i wasn't exactly sure of him. i told B he was very hard to read & i really didn't know if he liked me or not, then B suggested he possibly felt the same way about me, which actually comforted me.

as soon as he was able to F had me moved back to my desk, up in front, alone, but more importantly away from E. my student assistant had moved on as the summer was over & 2 assistants for the fall were coming in as i began unpacking the crap that was to be my office.

i couldn't believe the amount of boxes that were supposed to fit in there. i unpacked & tried to make sense of things, then i unpacked more & then i couldn't do anymore. i would have the student unload a box & i would grow through it bit by bit, it was painful how much crap had been saved. the position had been held by 3 or 4 people previously & nobody threw out a damn thing throughout those 20 years. at one point i thought i was actually going to cry i was so overwhelmed by it all, but then i thought about how once i knew it was all shit i could throw it away & i was ok.

everytime F would come in he would say something about "there's still boxes in there." he didn't know how badly i wanted to put a match to all of it. there was at least 5 different files for the same thing; one person was highly organized, she had a green hanging file then a thick folder file to hold one page, or to hold a few empty forms.....from 10 years ago. the latest person had most of her file labels written by hand, scribbled "SSN" or "osha", very professional.

my first day F did tell me the permanent position would be listed & he wanted me to apply for it. it took several weeks, it finally listed & i applied. not right away as i had to update my resume & work on some things to say i actually had experience in them.